


Angelus

by sirbartonslady



Series: Innocent Sorrow [5]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-14
Updated: 2012-05-14
Packaged: 2017-11-05 09:31:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 44,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirbartonslady/pseuds/sirbartonslady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the Vatican suspicious of Allen's fidelity to their cause, the Order struggles to protect its newest Critical. Meanwhile, Allen and Lavi reach a landmark turning point in their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Things Are Changing

**Author's Note:**

> This story is over four years old; it was originally published in April 2008. As such, it is very, very far from current with the manga storyline. I consider this story and the others in its series to be slightly AU from the actual canon due to how canon deviated after the story was written. This story, in fact, is the fulcrum, IMHO, where the story goes from being slightly-AU to rather firmly into its own AU setting.
> 
> I feel the need to reiterate that this story was written BEFORE Hoshino's canon revealed the actual identity of the 14th Noah, before even the direct connection between the Pope (as well as the entire Holy See of the Vatican) and the Black Order was fully detailed. At the time that I wrote this, I believed the Black Order was fundamentally independent of the Vatican, reliant upon it for sustenance but still a separate entity. Likewise, at the time that this story was written, next to nothing about the other Noahs -- including the 14th, of course -- was known. Later chapters of the manga have thoroughly debunked my story, of course, but at the time, there was a lot that was unanswered, so I drew my own conclusions.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any part of "D. Gray-man" or its characters. It all belongs to the brilliant Katsura Hoshino-sensei. I'm just playing in the sandbox of this beautiful and complex world.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After transferring to the Asian headquarters, Allen is accused by the Vatican of being a double agent. Lavi is assigned as Allen's constant surveillance. When the two learn that their room has only one bed, thus requiring them to share it, Allen brings up the subject of sex, much to Lavi's chagrin.

**Part One: Things Are Changing**

 

Lou Fa was walking on air. Her two teammates Likei and Shifu had sneaking suspicions why she was in such great spirits, and just held their silence, amused. It was cute, her crush on the young Exorcist. She didn't seem the least bit put out that Allen Walker clearly did not return her affections in the same manner; she cheerfully plotted winning his heart in blissful ignorance or denial.

Word had come two nights ago that the refugees from the fallen Black Order Headquarters who had been hiding in a convent in Turino, Italy, were being besieged and were likely to attempt to flee here to the Asian Branch via the Ark. There was only one person capable of operating the Ark, so it wasn't much of a stretch to figure out that this meant that the band of Exorcists, who had been crossing Europe in an attempt to hide from the Earl while they regrouped, were going to be coming here. Hence, Lou Fa's head was in the clouds.

There was a sudden commotion behind the three young scientists, and they just barely got out of the way as the branch's head officer, Bak Chan, came running down the corridor, heading for the large chamber by the gateway. On his heels ran his faithful assistant Samo Han Wong. Bak was communicating on a wireless device, and sounded agitated. He was relaying a series of alphanumeric data; it sounded like coordinates...

"Don't start just yet, I have to get Fou to drop the shield in those coordinates for a few moments."

Lou Fa perked up and turned to her two companions, her eyes sparkling. Likei scratched at his head and laughed; "Yeah, yeah, I suppose the test results can wait a little bit."

"Hooray!" She hopped in excitement. "Let's hurry! We don't want to miss this!"

The three of them hurried down the corridor toward the atrium. As they arrived in the cavernous room, they saw a familiar two-dimensional portal begin to take shape some three meters off the ground. A platform was wheeled into place as the portal formed. Lou Fa clasped her hands together in excitement, and seemed to almost bounce in place from the sheer anticipation.

"All right, Komui, send him through," Bak was saying.

The portal remained blank for a minute and a half at least, before it flared as someone passed through it. However, what emerged was not the slim silhouette of the fifteen-year-old Exorcist they were expecting. The man who stepped through was much taller, much broader of build and had a mane of dark red hair cascading out from under his large black hat. His gold-trimmed uniform showed he was no ordinary Exorcist. He was a General.

He looked around at the atrium and then looked directly at Bak. On his shoulder rode a bizarre golden ball-shaped golem with a fancy cross emblem on its face and long tail. It matched the description Allen Walker had once given about the golem from his master that he'd had as a sort of familiar, but that he'd parted company with during a battle somewhere in a Chinese bamboo forest.

"Right... that's not Walker," Bak said rhetorically into his communication device. "Is this what you're expecting?"

"Allen is operating the controls; of course he's not going to be the first one through the door," came the voice of the Chief Supervisor, Komui Lee, over the wireless communicator. "Tell General Cross to send his golem to you. If it's really him, the golem will fly over to you, whether he asks it to or not."

Bak complied. "General Cross, if you would be so kind, please send your golem over to me."

"Why the hell should I do that?" The General said irritably. However, he hitched his shoulder and the golem hopped off, dropping into flight like an agile bird and fluttering over to hover next to Bak. Lou Fa got a good look at it, and found it to be the cutest golem she'd ever seen. This must be Timcanpy!

"The golem is over here, Komui," Bak said into his device.

"Great! Now ask what the status on the anchoring of both portals is."

Bak relayed the request. Cross smirked. "They're anchored. The Stupid Apprentice is good for one thing. That's the only reason I let him live all that time. If he weren't the operator of the Ark, I wouldn't have wasted my time."

" **MASTER, I'M GOING TO KICK YOU OUT OF THIS ARK IF YOU DON'T _SHUT! THE! HELL! UP!!_** " A voice boomed from the portal.

Cross threw his head back and laughed, then took off his communications equipment and grinned; "Goddamn, I love teasing that boy. He's so amusing! So easy to pick on." He put the equipment back on and apparently cranked it up. "All right, Komui. I'm going back into the Ark; start sending people through. The faster we get this done, the better."

The gensui vanished back into the Ark and the portal stilled for about five minutes. Then it flared again and people started streaming through. After a few minutes, Wong approached a pair of Exorcists -- one a tall slim redhead of European descent, whose face was set with a sour expression; the other a Chinese girl with short, uneven black hair -- and greeted them formally. Lou Fa instinctively gravitated in that direction, sensing these Exorcists were special.

The whole process of transition took no more than twenty minutes to get everyone through, and the other three gensui were the last ones through. The whole portal seemed to collapse after that, and Lou Fa looked around for Allen Walker's distinctive white hair. When she didn't see it, she started to worry, until the portal suddenly burst into life and Walker emerged from it. Then the portal closed down and went dull.

Lou Fa was so intoxicated by her crush that she didn't even listen to Walker's words as he spoke of the Ark. All she could do was revel in his soft, polite voice and daydream about that voice being used to whisper sweet nothings to her.

Chaos ensued for a short while as people met and greeted each other, long-time friends reunited after a long absence, and order was sorted out amongst the support factions. Lou Fa waited until the area around Allen Walker cleared a bit, before presenting herself before him. He was accompanied at the moment by the red-haired Exorcist with the eyepatch, who had been giving him a noogie and speaking affectionately. This was clearly a close friend of Walker.

"Mr. Walker! Welcome back!" She grinned brightly, her cheeks flushing.

"Oh, hello, Lou Fa. Thank you. It's good to be back here. I'm glad to see you well."

"Really?"

"Of course." She didn't even notice the slightly strained expression on his face.

"You were worried about me?"

"Mr. Walker, don't mind her," Shifu said quickly. "She's been out of sorts for a while. Welcome back, we're blessed to have you with us again."

"So..." The red-haired Exorcist tilted his head. "Allen, who's the mousy little pipsqueak?"

"Lavi!" Walker elbowed his friend in the stomach. "Be _nice_! These three were instrumental in my recovery. They're part of the reason I was able to revive my Innocence and return to the battlefield."

"Three? I see two."

Lou Fa looked over at Shifu, mystified, until she realized that Likei wasn't there too. He was over some distance away, near the Branch Head and the Chief Supervisor. In her inattention, she missed part of the introductions, but snapped back to herself when she heard her name.

"Lou Fa, this is Lavi. I think you guys heard me talking about him before. He's Bookman's successor."

"Oh, Bookman Junior!" Shifu said excitedly. "Wow, a genuine bookman! I don't know that I've ever met anyone from the bookman clan."

Lou Fa bowed politely to Lavi. "So you're Mr. Walker's best friend, right?"

Lavi smirked; "Yeah, you could say that." Lou Fa completely missed the innuendo in his voice, and the warning look that Allen threw at him for it. Shifu, on the other hand, didn't miss either, and fell contemplatively silent. "Arrgh, my stomach is gnawing on my intestines. It wants food. I can only imagine what yours is doing to you, Allen. C'mon, where's the cafeteria? I'm starving!"

"I'll escort you!" Lou Fa chimed. Shifu stepped back and begged off when Lou Fa looked at him. He just watched them leave, observing the way Walker and Lavi interacted. There was something there that was more than friendship.

"Shifu," Likei approached. "What's the matter?"

"I'm just trying to figure Mr. Walker out. That guy with him there, there's something between them. They're not just friends." Shifu shook his head. "I must be really tired. I'm reading way too much into this."

"No, you're not," Likei said. "That's the redhead with the eyepatch, right? Bookman's successor?" At Shifu's nod, he continued. "I overheard the Supervisor telling Branch Head Bak about them. They _are_ more than friends. They're lovers. They're trying to be discreet about it, but that's why Chief Komui didn't want to evacuate to the Vatican -- he was afraid that something might happen there that would offend the Pope and strain the Order's agreement with the church. The Supervisor was asking that Bak be quiet about the whole thing as well, not let it get out too much in case word gets back to Rome about it, and to assign them both a room together or rooms adjacent to each other."

"Wait..." Shifu held a hand up. "If what you say is true, then that means that Mr. Walker is gay, and that Lou Fa..." He grimaced. "I knew she didn't really have a chance in hell with him, but I had no idea that the gap was that wide. Hmm. That would also explain Mr. Lavi's rather rude comment about Lou Fa. He must have noticed that she has a crush on Mr. Walker and was a little jealous."

"What rude comment?"

"He called her a 'mousy little pipsqueak'!"

Likei covered his mouth to hide his laughter. "Oh that's bad."  
  
"Mr. Walker corrected him and made him apologize, though I don't know if Lou Fa heard it. You know how she is."

"Yeah, she's pretty clueless about some things. Brilliant young scientist, but with her head full of clouds, she's pretty much oblivious to the obvious at times."

* * *

Lavi chuckled as he observed Allen gorging himself. Some things never changed. Allen had already plowed through about six courses, while Lavi was taking his time with his first. For his own part, he was just glad to be able to partake of good yakiniku for the first time in months. Pork had been hard to come by in Nice and Turino. He also used this time to observe the mousy little scientist's actions around Allen. She sure was infatuated, that was for damn sure. It made him uncomfortable, seeing her fawn over Allen. Allen was trying very hard to be nice but slightly stand-offish, trying to discourage her gently. She was being either extremely dense, extremely stupid, or extremely stubborn. Or, option number four: a combination of the other three. And a tiny part of Lavi wanted to assert his claim on Allen's heart to this little pipsqueak. He didn't like to admit that he was given to jealousy, but he didn't like how it made him feel to watch someone trying to win over _his_ beloved.

His... wait a minute. Allen was more than just his beloved, wasn't he? And yet they couldn't exactly call themselves lovers.... could they?

_Stop it, Lavi. He loves you as you love him. Isn't that enough?_ He mentally shelved the whole thought process and returned his attention to his meal. Thinking about unpleasant things made his enjoyment of his favorite food somewhat less enjoyable. They were soon joined by a couple more scientists.

Allen introduced the other two young scientists who had helped Lou Fa in caring for Allen during his stay here at the Asian HQ some six months ago. Their names were Shifu and Likei, and they seemed like nice, level-headed young men, though one of them kept giving Lavi the most bizarre, almost-disgusted expression. This was the same one who had expressed excitement at meeting a member of the bookman clan, so why he was suddenly repulsed by Lavi was anyone's guess.

A flash of gold caught Lavi's attention. Timcanpy was sitting in front of his plate, looking up at him inquiringly.

"Allen... what does Tim want?"

"He probably wants some of your food. He usually does that to me when he wants some of mine."

Lavi shooed the golem. "Go bug Allen; he's got more food to spare than I do, and I haven't had any yakiniku in a long time!"

Tim didn't move.

"Just give him a little piece, Lavi," Allen said. "I'm sure he just wants to try it."

"I don't get it, this thing is part robot, right?"

"Well yes, but robots require fuel of a sort. Master developed a golem that can sustain itself by way of food. He just, uh, gave Timcanpy a little too big of an appetite, I think. That's probably the appetite he needs when he's in his largest form, and it just doesn't really adjust when he's smaller."

"How big does Timcanpy get?" Lou Fa asked.

"Well, he can get to be the size of a medium-sized dog, but he doesn't usually. It's very hard for him to fly when he's that big. The smaller he is, the faster and more agile he is. But I remember him being about this big at one point when I first was taken in by Master Cross." He held his hands a remarkable distance apart. "Like I said, he doesn't do that usually."

Lavi sighed and plucked a small piece of the pork from the miniature grill and offered it to the golem. Timcanpy happily took the morsel and flew up to land on Lavi's head.

"See?" Allen grinned. "In the rare instances that I can't finish a meal, Tim cleans up after me. He just likes to try things."

Lavi snickered; "Allen, when have you _ever_ been unable to finish a meal?"

"It's happened. It doesn't happen very often, hence why I said the 'rare instances' but it does happen!" Allen set aside the current plate, now empty, and started on the next.

Lavi returned to his yakiniku, savoring it. Considering this wasn't Jeryy's cooking, it was pretty damned good. He hadn't had it in so long, though, that perhaps he was just enjoying it because it was almost a novelty again.

Timcanpy, meanwhile, snuck in and grabbed some of the dango off another plate of Allen's, gaining a sharp curse and a swung fist. The golem dodged and flew off with the dango still in its mouth.

"Grr," Allen grumbled. "Didn't even bother to ask. Just grabbed and ran. Typical Tim."

"I guess I should be glad he didn't grab and run from me. I'd be forced to chase him and hammer him to the ground."

"You can't destroy him, though," Allen laughed. "You can smash him into a million pieces and he still pulls back together. I think only Master Cross knows how to destroy his golems. And the fact that he hasn't destroyed Tim yet means he's not likely to do so."

"All the better. Then I won't have any regrets!" Lavi pulled out Oudzuchi and waved the small hammer in the air. "Ya hear that Tim? I'll give you a hell of a headache if you swipe any more of my food. Steal Allen's for all I care, but leave mine alone!"

"Thanks, Lavi. I love you too," Allen snorted good-naturedly, though a vein bulged on his forehead. "You can be such a pain in the ass."

"Oh ho!" Lavi chortled. "I haven't even _begun_ to be a pain in your ass!"

The table fell silent as Allen turned beet red, balled up his fist and slammed it into Lavi's shoulder, sending him tumbling off the bench. "Not funny, Lavi."

"Careful, Allen. In some cultures, punching like that can be considered a form of foreplay."

"Don't joke about stuff like that!" Allen snapped.

"Sorry," Lavi said with a grin. "I couldn't resist." He glanced over at Lou Fa, who still looked oblivious. She was still gazing at Allen with starry eyes of adoration.

_Is she seriously oblivious? Does she not get a gay sex joke when she hears it?_

On the other hand, the other two scientists were now definitely suspicious. Lavi looked each of them in the eye expressionlessly, challenging them to make a comment, and then when they both submitted to defeat, he returned his attention to what was left of his meal.

By the time he and Allen were done eating, the three scientists had been called away by their duties, which meant that Lavi had Allen sort of alone. The cafeteria had a lot of people in it, but at least it was just the two of them at this table.

"Sorry about that, Allen," Lavi said. "I just... that girl. She's got her sights set on you, and I didn't like it. I thought maybe I'd try and push her off the trail."

"Where the hell's the discretion in comments like you made?" Allen retorted. "That was about as subtle as your hammer!"

Lavi put his hands together and bowed his head; "I know, I know. I'm sorry. I just got a little jealous."

Allen blinked as he gathered his dishes together. "You... what? Was I coming across as flirting with her? I thought I was pushing her away, insomuch as I can without being rude."

Lavi took some of the empty plates from Allen and set them with his, so as to help him transport the dishes to the drop-off window. "It wasn't you that was making me feel that way; it's that mousy little braided pipsqueak."

"Stop calling her that!" Allen glared at him. "You don't need to be so disrespectful to someone I owe my life to." The two of them deposited the dishes at the drop-off window and Allen grabbed Lavi's arm. "C'mon, there's someone I want to introduce you to."

"Why are you dragging me around again?!"

Allen didn't answer and dragged him through the cafeteria and back to the room where they'd come through the Ark. He kept dragging, despite Lavi's protests, all the way to the ornate wall. There he let go of Lavi's arm.

"Good grief, Allen, you almost dislocated my shoulder there. Go easy on me, I'm just a human, you know!"

Allen had a smile on his face again as he put a hand on the wall. "Fou, are you in there?"

"Well, well, if it isn't the crazy white-haired Akuma-loving Exorcist," said a feminine disembodied voice. The wall began to spark and a figure emerged from it. What emerged looked sort of human, except for her yellow-olive skin and the patterns adorning her arms. She was short, but she carried herself with the air of someone who had no idea how short she really was.

"Hello, Fou. Nice to see you again," Allen said with a laugh. "You haven't changed."

"Of course not."

"Lavi, this is Fou. She's the guardian of this branch. She's the main reason I was able to revive my Innocence, and she taught me a lot about hand-to-hand combat too."

"So, Walker, this is your boyfriend?" The guardian said with a droll smile.

Lavi's jaw dropped open and Allen blinked in astonishment. "How... how did you know about that?"

"I'm not human, you know. I have my ways of knowing things."

"You're not omniscient, nor omnipresent," Lavi retorted. "Guardian or not, you have your limits. Or has the Asian branch been lying all this time?"

Fou grinned. "I like you. What's your name?"

"Lavi."

"Lavi, huh? Interesting alias. What's with the eyepatch?"

"To cover an unusable eye," Lavi retorted. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Hmm. Yeah, I like you, Lavi. You're a good match for Walker," Fou said finally. "Silly Bak is just old-fashioned."

"What?"

"He didn't much like it when that Komui person told him about you two."

"Well that explains how you found out," Allen said finally.

"Of course. But seriously, Bak is just old-fashioned, and I told him as much. It doesn't matter if you fall in love with a male or a female. People don't fall in love with someone just because they can or cannot procreate with them." She grinned. "I went to bat for you, Walker."

"Are you trying to blackmail me?"

"What?" The guardian looked shocked. "Blackmail? No! I just don't like being in your debt, Walker. Trying to even the scales. Did you think I'd forgotten who it was that dispatched that Akuma with just a flick of the wrist after interrogating it?"

"Ugh," Lavi said with a grimace. "Philosophy on a full stomach. Recipe for blowing chunks."

Allen leaned against the wall, holding his side while laughing; "You really don't like philosophy, do you?"

"Nope, not particularly. I'm a bookman, remember? I like facts, not speculation." Lavi acted on a brief urge and pinned Allen against the wall by planting his hands on the wall above each of Allen's shoulders. "Speculation's okay in some cases, but I like to leave it to actual philosophers. The real question here is, what are you going to do now?"

"He could kick you in the... well, you know," Fou drolled. "You left yourself vulnerable, Lavi."

"The toll is much less expensive than you might expect," Lavi said, pitching his voice to a deep and throaty timbre. He seemed to have forgotten that Fou was even there, less than a meter from him. His entire focus was on Allen.

Allen let out a tiny sigh; "Lavi, you're so narrow-minded. And so bloody predictable!" He slid his arms around Lavi's torso and pulled him close, bringing his mouth up to Lavi's in a soft but passionate kiss. Lavi dropped one arm and used it to encircle Allen's waist; the other arm remained planted against the wall.

Fou waited with barely-contained impatience while they got this flare of passion out of their systems. When they were done, she interrupted with a loud clearing of her throat. "So, anyway."

Allen cleared his throat as well. "Anyway, Lavi, I just wanted to introduce you and Fou." He put his hands to Lavi's face and pulled him close for one more kiss. "I have work to do. Shouldn't take long, but, I need to do it."

"Dammit," Lavi grumbled, refusing to let go. "I hate it when you have work to do and I don't. I've been in the Order longer than you, I'm older than you, and you're still injured from that fight with those Level Threes."

"And I've reached Critical Point, Lavi. You haven't. I'm sorry, but I have to give a verbal report over the wireless network to the Vatican." Lavi made a noise that sounded remarkably like Kanda's disgusted noise. Allen clenched his hands in the fabric of Lavi's shirt. "I can operate the Earl's old Ark, Lavi. No one but a Noah should be able to do that. If I don't report everything I do with the Ark, they're going to start labeling me a traitor."

"You mean they haven't already done so? Blah, blah, I know. I just want to be included in stuff. I hate spinning my wheels while you go off and be a mock-General. I've got nothing to do!"

"Is that right?" Fou said as she crossed her arms. "Wanna spar with me? I enjoyed fighting with Walker when he was here, and you look pretty agile. I'll give you a run for your money."

"That's actually a really good idea. You were complaining about your low synchronization rate, Lavi. She'll put you through your paces, and run you right up against your limit. I really think my fighting skills improved immensely from working with her. Just don't kill him, Fou." Allen grinned. "I'd rather keep him around a bit longer."

"Yeah, yeah. Go on."

Allen got Lavi's attention by kissing him tenderly again. "I'll leave you in her capable hands now, my beloved." He turned to leave... and froze. After a moment, Lavi and Fou looked over and followed his gaze.

Fou's expression changed. "Well. Looks like someone doesn't need to be let down gently after all."

Lou Fa was standing halfway across the chamber, with her two friends behind her, both looking abashed. For her part, the young scientist looked completely crushed. Allen's stomach sank through the floor at the look of absolute hurt and betrayal on her face. This was the last thing he'd wanted to do. He'd wanted to let Lou Fa down gently, not shove in her face that all her attempts were futile.

"We, uh, tried to warn you, Lou Fa," Likei muttered, not realizing that the acoustics of the atrium meant that his voice carried.

"Lou Fa..." Allen started to say, and found he had no words at all. Not even an apology. After all, what exactly could he apologize for?

After a long moment, Lou Fa pulled herself together and bowed respectfully; "I'm sorry, Mr. Walker. I wasn't aware. Forgive me for intruding."

"Hey," Fou said crossly. "Who's property are you trespassing on anyway?" She thumped the wall. "You realize I sleep here; why is it only intruding when Walker's here?"

"That wasn't quite what I meant," Lou Fa murmured somberly. "I meant in intruding on his... er..."

"She means because of her flirting," Lavi said.

"Ah, well, no harm, no foul," Fou said flippantly. "I've told you before, kiddo, that men ain't worth the trouble. Least of all someone like Walker."

Lavi snorted; "Nice!" He nudged Allen's shoulder. "Go on, you have work to do, right? Standing around here gawking won't get your work done."

Lou Fa bowed again; "I apologize for any unwelcome signals I might have sent you, Mr. Walker."

"I'm sorry for... er... not being more clear," Allen said finally, rubbing his neck self-consciously. At another nudge from Lavi, he started off toward the science and communications section of the branch. Lou Fa and the two other scientists took their leave without another word.

"I'm sorry it turned out like this. We tried to tell you, Lou Fa," Shifu said gently as they walked away. Likei nodded somberly.

"I know," Lou Fa said as she wiped tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry for not listening." She sniffled and wiped more tears away irritably. "I wish these tears would stop, too, because I don't like looking weak in front of Mr. Walker. He's so strong and capable; he must think I'm just a weepy little brat."

Likei put a hand on her shoulder; "I don't think he thinks less of you for it. If anything, he probably is angry with himself for upsetting you."

"How did you find out anyway, Likei?" She took a deep breath to try and counter the sob that was building in her chest. She would _not_ let that out until she was safely cloistered away in her room, her face buried in a pillow.

"I overheard the Chief Supervisor telling Branch Head Bak about an unusual romantic development between Exorcists, one that had potential to ruin their good relations with the Vatican. He asked Bak to tread carefully with regards to those two Exorcists, and to grant them some space so that they can maintain discretion. Bak asked who it was, and Komui said it was Allen Walker and the successor of Bookman. Bak asked who the successor was, and Komui said his name was Lavi, and that he was a redhead with an eyepatch. And since there's only one Exorcist here that has red hair... well, it's not hard to tell."

"Doesn't General Cross have red hair too?" Shifu inquired. "It sure looked like it to me."

"Yeah, but he's not here. He stayed behind in Turino, remember?"

Lou Fa cleared her throat; "Come on, guys, let's get going. These results won't analyze themselves."

* * *

Two and a half hours later, Allen left the communication room rolling his eyes. General Klaud Nine paced along at his side, shaking her head in disgust.

"I really hate the Vatican," she said bitingly. "A bunch of lazy incumbents who have no damned clue how desperate our situation is, who want us to jump through their circus hoops in a certain order. Protected as they are in the Vatican, they have no idea how dangerous the Earl is."

Her monkey chittered in her ear, and she scratched its head. Glancing at Allen, she smiled faintly. "Sorry, Allen; I just really hate dealing with the Vatican. It gets my blood up in the worst way."

"I can tell," Allen said with a half-hearted smile. "And I have to say that I agree. I'm not too thrilled to be labeled a traitor. I did what I had to in order to save everyone, and somehow the Vatican thinks that means I'm a double agent. Master Cross won't tell me anything about that damned musical score. He's the one with all the answers, and he conveniently stayed behind in Turino!"

Klaud nodded sympathetically. "Like I said, they're so safely cloistered away in their sacred city that they have no idea of how dangerous the Earl is. The Vatican is the one place the Earl has never been able to set foot. No one really knows why as far as I know. No one even knows if it's simply because he's never tried or because something is keeping him out. I've heard about a supernatural barrier, but I don't know if it's just superstition. We just know he's never been recorded within its boundaries, nor has any Noah or any Akuma. Theoretically, it's the safest place in the world to be, but it's also dangerous for Exorcists to be too close to the Pope, because he might start interfering with our duties and orders, countermanding them. There's a historical precedent for that, unfortunately."

"That was a brilliant idea of Bookman's," Komui said, catching up to them. "I hadn't even thought of that."

"Just goes to show you how highly regarded that historian clan is by the Vatican," Klaud said. "I still don't know how Old Man Yeegar managed to seal an agreement with them." She glanced at Allen. "Also demonstrates how highly Bookman must regard you, Allen. For him to step up to your defense like that."

Allen laughed nervously. "Are you sure he did it for my sake?"

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't Lavi like a son to him?"

There was a silence as the General and the Supervisor both paced along on either side of him. Allen was just starting to feel hugely uncomfortable when Komui spoke.

"I think it's a mistake to assume that Bookman thinks in that manner, Allen. Those bookmen have a completely different way of looking at the world. They have their limits as to what they'll do even for each other. Ninety percent, or more, of Bookman's actions within the Order have been because of you."

Allen digested that. They fell into silence as they walked toward the Atrium. Before long, Bak fell in with them. Klaud was just about to take her leave of them when they reached the large chamber and saw what amounted to chaos in the making.

A giant whirlwind was spinning furiously in the center of the cavern. Fou could be seen on its edges, and then she flashed upwards, cutting an arc through the air and landing within the center of the hurricane. Almost instantly, the vortex of wind dissipated, revealing Lavi at its center, with Fou standing poised in front of him, one of her arm-blades against his throat.

"That took me all of thirty seconds to find the weak-spot. That thing is flashy and big, but it's cumbersome and I fail to see how you can use it in battle. And, judging from the look of things, it takes a lot out of you to do that."

"The Wind Seal is extremely difficult to control. It seems to be very wild. None of the other Seals were this hard to master." Lavi wiped his brow with his sleeve; he looked exhausted.

"And yet you insist on using it?"

"I just unlocked it. I want to be able to rely on it if I need it. I don't want to do another All Seals Combination if I can avoid it. I got the feeling from my Innocence that if I ever do that again, it won't forgive me."

Fou crossed her arms. "All of these attacks you've shown me are huge, high power and barely controlled. You need to learn minute control over those attacks or you'll never get anywhere with them. I did notice that you didn't use the Earth Seal or the Wood Seal, however. Care to explain why?"

"The Earth Seal is strictly defense. The Wood Seal is neither -- it's a nature-manipulating Seal."

"Hmm." Fou glanced over at the approaching Exorcists and support faction members. "Well, you look like hell, Lavi. You should get some rest. I'm tired too, so I'm going to take a nap."

Lavi followed her gaze, and his strained expression lightened when he saw Allen. "Are you done finally?"

"For the time being, anyway," Komui said. "And now we have an assignment for you, one I don't think you'll mind at all."

"Assignment?" Lavi rubbed his forehead in a gesture of confusion as he holstered his hammer. "Aren't we in lock-down?"

"Not a mission; an assignment."

Allen walked forward to meet up with Lavi, noting that Lavi was more tired than he was willing to admit; his knees wobbled like they were made of jelly. Allen pulled Lavi's right arm across his shoulders and steadied him. He placed his left arm low across Lavi's back to give him some support.

There was a time when Lavi would have refused such a gesture; now, however, he seemed eager for the physical contact.

Allen noted out of the corner of his eye that Bak had a sour look on his face. Komui looked benign as usual while he waited for Lavi to give him his full attention. When the red-haired Exorcist did so, the Supervisor started in on his order.

"You are hereby ordered, by the Vatican and by the head of the bookman clan, to which you belong and owe allegiance, to conduct constant surveillance of one Allen Walker, who is being suspected of treason by the upper branches of the Vatican."

Lavi's eye widened. "What the _bloody hell_? _Treason?!_ What kind of opium are they smoking now?"

Komui shrugged. "Allen can operate the Ark. As far as our records show, only the Earl or a Noah can do that. There's a belief that Allen is therefore a Noah."

"That's insane!" Lavi clenched a fist. "Noah are vulnerable to Innocence."

"Yes, Lavi, we know that, and we know that Allen has passed Critical Point with his Innocence. However, the Vatican is not convinced. They want Walker under surveillance until further notice because of the situation with the Earl and the two Arks."

"Fucking idiots," Lavi grumbled angrily. "What the hell do they know about anything?"

"Still, they're the ones calling the shots, and we need to respect that," Bak said, his words clipped and somewhat biting.

"No one in the Order seriously suspects Allen of being a traitor, Lavi. But we have to do as the Vatican orders. And anyway, we lucked out," Komui added, "because the Vatican doesn't know that you two are even friends, nevermind more. As far as they know, you are as impartial as Bookman himself. Thus, Bookman suggested that you be assigned as Allen's chaperone. This of course means that you will be expected to share a room."

Lavi blinked. "What? Really?"

"We've assigned you two a room, so it's time we show you to it," Bak said tersely. "Come along, then."

* * *

"Nice digs!" Lavi said as he stretched out on the large bed. "A little strange that they've configured it this way, though. I guess they assumed we were already sleeping together."

Allen paused and glanced at him. The bed was quite large, and was the only bed in the room. It could easily fit three people comfortably in it. As it was, there was no reason why he and Lavi couldn't share the bed, even as friends, which they were certainly more than...

A prudent blush crept up Allen's ears as his thoughts wandered. He'd been plagued by dreams for the past couple of weeks now, since the fiasco between Nice and Turino in which he'd nearly died of exsanguination and Lavi had nearly died of injuries incurred by his Innocence. Not prophetic or nightmarish dreams. No, these were... well, simply put, they were erotic. And explicit. They usually left him drenched in sweat when he awoke, and sometimes with embarrassing other anatomical reactions. And they were persistent. Each night they got more and more explicit and detailed, and harder to endure. It was becoming pretty clear to Allen that he wanted more now out of his relationship with Lavi than just hugs and kisses.

"Um, yeah, Lavi... about that..." Allen cleared his throat. "I think we need to talk."

"Talk? Talk about what?" Lavi sounded like he was about two-thirds asleep. "Can't it wait?"

"No, Lavi, I really think we need to talk. About sex."

The room fell completely silent as Lavi pulled his headband down across his eyes deliberately. For several minutes there was no sound at all except their breathing.

"We don't need to talk about it, Allen," Lavi finally said. "What's the point of talking? Just leave well enough alone."

"I can't leave 'well enough' alone, dammit! Things are changing between us, you know! Do you think I'm some kind of completely naive... machine?"

"No, but I do know something that you're forgetting."

"What's that?"

"You're a minor. You're _fifteen_. You know what that makes me? That makes me a pedophile."

"Lavi, you're still a teenager too! You're only three years older than me!"

"I'm still an adult; you're not."

"What, so a fifteen-year-old can reach Critical Point, can develop into General-level, can fight with the Earl face to face, and take on an army of Akuma, without anyone thinking that unusual, but he can't make love to his beloved? What kind of screwed up logic is that?"

After a long silence, Lavi chuckled tiredly; "So, war and sex are the same thing to you?"

"I'm not ignorant, Lavi. You think I don't know how sex works? I'll remind you that Master Cross is the biggest male slut anywhere."

Lavi sat bolt upright, yanking his headband down. His eye was wide with horror; "Don't tell me...! General Cross didn't...!"

"Didn't what?"

"He was supposed to teach you to be an _Exorcist_ , not.... not...! _Jesus fucking Christ_!"

Allen blinked in confusion; "It's not like I participated in anything, Lavi, I just know about it."

Lavi stared at him for the longest time, before he sighed with relief and flopped back down. "Good. There are some lines that shouldn't be crossed. Master and apprentice is one of them. Not to mention the fact that you hate his guts. There's nothing romantic about molestation."

Allen about choked. "You thought that he... with me...? Oh god, Lavi! How could you think something like that?"

"What choice did you leave me? You practically said that he taught you about sex!"

"I said no such thing! Master Cross didn't _teach_ me a single damned thing! He forced me to learn things, but he didn't _teach_ them to me. I'll tell you something, Lavi: you learn pretty damned quick what the whole act is about when you're subject to night after night of listening to different women making all kinds of weird noises and then crying 'Cross!' at climax. You figure it all out pretty quickly."

Lavi put a hand to his stomach, suddenly very nauseous at the thought of having to endure that every night for three years. No wonder the kid equated sex with fighting and war! "Good god, that man has no shame, has he? Still, all that aside, it doesn't make it okay for me to... for us to... it doesn't change the fact that you're underage."

Allen heaved a sigh; this was going nowhere in a damned hurry. Lavi was stubborn as hell and certainly wasn't going to give an inch, at least for today. And anyway, Allen was too tired and stressed from being interrogated over the wireless network by the Pope's cronies. Frankly, he didn't want any more stress and headache, and he didn't want to argue with Lavi.

"I don't mind sharing the bed with you, Allen. In fact, it sounds kind of nice. I just want to be clear that there's a limit to how far I'm willing to go right now."

"What time is it anyway?" Allen rummaged around in his pockets for a pocket watch, failing miserably.

"Probably around eight or so," Lavi said. "I think it was around four or so when we left Turino. Gah, I am definitely tired. And sore! That guardian, she can really move. I haven't been this muscle-sore since... well, I'm not sure. I guess since fighting that damned Noah in Edo. I kept getting thrown around into buildings and stuff."

"Looks like I'm not the only one who hasn't gotten back to a hundred percent yet."

"Mm," Lavi grunted. "I suppose. But I didn't lose litres and litres of blood."

"No, but you did sustain some pretty significant burns. Second degree, I believe. And you had a lot of internal damage."

"Oh, and you didn't? You who had his whole right side ripped wide open!" Lavi got up off the bed and went over to the dresser, where he began stripping off most of his uniform. "I think I'm just going to go to bed. I'm just that tired." He paused. "I don't think I snore, but if I do, feel free to punch me."

"Aww man, I wanted to go get something to eat," Allen grumbled. "But if you're going to go to bed, I guess I can't very well do that."

"Why not?" Lavi retorted. "I'd rather not listen to you moan and whine all night about how hungry you are."

"Uh, what part of 'constant surveillance' are you not quite grasping?"

"Huh?" Lavi stared at him uncomprehendingly for a full thirty seconds, before he grimaced. "Aww, damn, that's right. I was just so eager to get some sleep I totally forgot." He pulled some of the uniform back on, to make himself presentable in public. "Right, then, let's go get you fed. Then I'm going to dive into bed and sleep for the next two weeks."

As they got to the cafeteria, they saw Arystar Krory and Miranda Lotto sitting at a table together, deep in conversation. This was a welcome sight to both Allen and Lavi, who had known Krory the longest of anyone in the Order. Krory, a reticent Romanian baron with a shy nature and a tendency to be a wallflower in crowded situations, was starting to open up to Miranda, another shrinking violet who preferred intimate company to crowds. Miranda had also come to adore the tall baron as more than just a friend or companion. While it seemed unlikely that Krory would ever come to love Miranda as much as he had loved Eliade, it seemed that at least he was starting to open up and connect with Miranda on a deeper level than casual friendship.

Allen squelched the urge to take and hold Lavi's hand. They had to maintain discretion. But seeing his friends getting chummy just made his heart feel lighter.

"Lavi, you look like hell," Krory said as the two approached the table that he and Miranda were at.

"Thanks, Kro-chan, I love you too," Lavi griped, yawning and massaging his neck. "I'm beat to death here, but Allen's stomach is making all kinds of noise -- there's no way I'll be able to sleep if he leaves it empty. You parasitics and your bottomless-pit stomachs. Gah."

Miranda covered her mouth as she laughed. "Lavi, you look like you're going to fall asleep standing up! Why don't you go to bed?"

"Cuz I'm under orders to keep an eye on Beansprout," Lavi said flippantly. "And his stomach is so loud that I'd never sleep if I don't let him fill it up."

"Under orders?" Krory arched an eyebrow.

"Keep an eye?" Miranda said simultaneously.

"Beansprout?!" Allen exploded at the same moment. "Dammit, Lavi, _stop calling me that_!"

"What happened?" Krory asked.

"The Vatican's full of complete idiots," Lavi responded bitterly. "They seem to think Allen's a Noah because he can operate the Ark. So they want him under surveillance at all times, and the old panda apparently nominated me to do it."

"And the Vatican agreed to that?" Krory said incredulously.

"Why not? They don't know anything about me." Lavi gave the baron a warning look. "They think I'm still a puppet of the bookmen, and that the bookmen are impartial. Gramps has got a lot of sway on the Vatican, apparently." He rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. "I do owe him big-time for this, though. Guess this means he's washing his hands of me."

"I don't think so," Allen said as he gave Lavi's shoulders a downward push, insisting he sit down at the table. "I think he's just using logic. He probably understands that the only person I'd agree to have in my presence at all times is going to be you."

"Doesn't sound to me like anyone cares what you want, Allen," Krory said seriously. Allen shrugged and headed toward the order window to place his order.

"On the other hand, having one or both of us maim somebody from the Vatican because he won't give us any privacy, isn't going to help our cause," Lavi replied. "Allen's not as meek and mild as he looks."

"Of course not," Krory said. "Did you forget that I was there in that one chamber with the rest of you? I saw him fighting that crazy two-faced Noah. He hauled off and punched them in the face with his right hand because his left hand wouldn't let him make a fist with it. Remember?"

"No," Lavi blinked. "When did that happen?"

"He and I did it at the same time. Oh, wait a minute." Krory paused. "That's right, you were probably still on top of the column, with the key. When you found the real key, it broke the twins' illusion, which meant that Allen and I could see them. So we paid them back for the punches they'd dealt us."

"Oh, that? That was because he was annoyed and angry, and Lenalee was in trouble." Lavi waved his hand. "He said something about it to me later. But seriously, he's not that meek, and I know he doesn't like the Vatican now that they've accused him of treason."

"I still can't see Allen mauling anyone," Miranda said softly. "He's too nice."

Lavi snorted. "Who's to say he'd be the one doing the mauling? He just probably wouldn't lift a finger to stop _me_."

Allen returned then with a large bowl of rice, some fried chicken and pork, and some mitarashi dango. "This should tide me over until morning."

"Hmm," Lavi grunted, feeling the full of his exhaustion start to weigh on him. He reached over and grabbed a kabob of dango from the plate. "You owe me for this, by the way, Allen. I could be asleep right now. And you could've used a golem to call for room service. I'm sure Komui would've made an allowance for that."

Allen blinked; "I... didn't even think of something like that. Why didn't you?"

"Too damned tired to think straight." Lavi bit into the dango and chewed tiredly, swallowing with some effort. "Bah, sweet things. No wonder you're so sugar-sweet, Allen. You eat too much of these things."

Allen noted that both Miranda and Krory had turned somewhat red and were looking at their own plates, determined not to look at either of them. Since he was sitting next to Miranda, and therefore across the table from Lavi, who was seated next to Krory, Allen kicked him in the shins.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

Allen just glared at him.

"So, uh, how long are we going to be here?" Miranda said, managing not to stutter. "At this headquarters, I mean."

"Well at least until our home is stabilized and we can return there." Lavi folded his arms on the table, scooted his chair back a bit, and rested his head on his arms. He wearily closed his eyes and waited for Allen to eat his fill. The others around him carried on their conversation while he dozed, trying to maintain as much consciousness as necessary but also trying to catch some rest. He hadn't realized just how bloody tired he really was until now!

Finally, he felt someone touch his elbow, and jerked awake. Allen was standing behind him, grasping his arm gently. "Let's go, Lavi. You've been very patient, and I'm sorry it took so long." He helped Lavi stand up, pulling an arm across his shoulders to help support him. Lavi just let him do it, even though he really didn't need the support. He liked the close contact with Allen. And he _was_ pretty damned tired.

_Still can't believe this kid wants to have sex already. Geez. And it's not like I don't want it too, but damn! Someone needs to show some restraint. Besides, I'm not entirely sure how to go about it with another male... how do you decide who is on what end? Hey, watch yourself, Lavi. Don't give him any signals that you really want it too._ He closed his eyes and calmed his thoughts.

He promptly lost all track of time, and when he came to himself, he was already sitting on the bed in their room. Even more confusing, he was already out of his uniform and in his pajamas. When had that happened? Allen was standing by the dresser with his back to Lavi; he was undressing. Lavi just watched absently, his fog of exhaustion clouding his normal reaction to such a sight.

Allen really was built very sturdily, if you looked carefully. He seemed slim and awkward now because his body was still changing. He was still maturing, physically. But looking carefully, it was easy to see that his muscles were all well-toned and firm from regular exercise. He was quite attractive, really. When he was silent and occupied, he exuded a strength and masculinity that sometimes got lost in the face of his normally-docile demeanor.

In his exhaustion, Lavi didn't keep a tight enough rein on his thoughts.

_I'd definitely "hit" that. Not sure exactly how, but I'd definitely try._

Good god. What the hell was wrong with him? He was lusting after a fifteen-year-old... to be fair, it was easy to forget Allen's actual age, as he seemed much older than he really was. But still... He flopped down on the bed and pulled his headband down over his eyes. This was starting to bother him. _Dammit, Allen! Why did you have to bring up the subject of sex in the first place?_

He heard Allen's footsteps approach the bed and then felt the bed shift as Allen crawled into his side. Finally, heaving a sigh, Lavi maneuvered himself around so that his head rested on his pillow now. Allen pulled the top-sheet and blankets up over both of them, gently tucking in around Lavi. He dropped a tender kiss on Lavi's forehead.

"Good night, Lavi. Sleep well."

Lavi reached out and twined his arms around Allen, pulling close to him. "I love you, Allen." _Just in case you thought my refusing sex with you meant otherwise..._

Allen just shifted a bit and rolled over. Unable to keep his body from relaxing with the comfort of the soft mattress, combined with an adored bedmate, Lavi sank into the darkness of sleep.


	2. A Wavering Mirage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Exorcists return home to their home base via the Ark. Lavi starts to worry about Allen's sanity when the transfer back to the main headquarters leaves Allen in a foul temper. With some prodding, Allen opens up about his fears that his father Mana might have been the Fourteenth Noah, and his fears of what that might mean for him if that turns out to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some artistic license with Lavi's background, including about the reason for his eyepatch. I had my reasons for doing so for the story, even if it counters with what Hoshino has said about the eypatch in interviews and later canon.

**Part Two: A Wavering Mirage**

 

It was all Allen could do to claw his way out of the dream that held him imprisoned within its salacious charms. Finally surfacing from the dream left him weak-limbed and drenched in sweat. That was without a doubt the most carnal and erotic, yet incredibly frustrating and stymieing, one yet. Now that he was awake, he wanted to just punch Lavi for being such a coy little bastard... but it wasn't Lavi's fault that he had been featured so bizarrely in Allen's dream.

Rolling over laboriously, he opened his eyes to a thick darkness split only by a thin, feeble light over on the desk. He could see a silhouette seated at the desk, hunched over it, and the sound of a pen on paper could be heard faintly.

"Lavi...?" He sat up as he spoke. His body ached all over and he felt extraordinarily tired. It appeared that yesterday's events with the Ark and the Vatican had put a bit too much of a strain on his still-healing body.

The figure at the desk turned, and the light from the faint lamp illuminated a face much beloved by Allen. "Oh, you're awake, Allen?"

"What are you doing?"

"A report. I'm almost done, and then I'll be coming back to bed."

Allen laid back down, finding the bed to be comfortable and inviting, and not wanting to leave it. Besides, what exactly did he have to do right now? His stomach was tolerable right now; it wasn't screaming to be fed again just yet. His body was just tired from all the strain of the past several weeks and right now, he wanted nothing more than to snuggle with Lavi, corny as that sounded.

After a while, Lavi stood up, turned off the lamp -- plunging them into complete darkness again, since there were no windows -- and climbed back into bed. After some shifting around, he snugged himself up against Allen and nibbled affectionately at his neck. "Ah, you're nice and warm. And a little sweaty. Too warm for you?"

"Uh, yeah... something like that." He hoped he hadn't had another of those embarrassing reactions while he was asleep... he'd never be able to explain that one to Lavi! He reached down surreptitiously and felt the bedding for any spots of wetness. He was relieved to find nothing beyond the usual dampness of sweat. He relaxed into Lavi's embrace and sighed with contentment. "I love you, Lavi. You know that, right?"

"Mm." Lavi nibbled at his neck again. "Yup. And I love you too, my little beansprout."

Allen choked in the darkness. "Dammit, Lavi! Why -- !"

Lavi reached up and clapped a hand over Allen's mouth. "And that right there is why I do it. Because it gets your goat. That's why I've always done it. Same reason I call Yuu by his first name, and Kro-chan by that nickname -- because it bugs them. I wouldn't tease you like this if I didn't like you."

"So does that mean you don't like Lenalee or Miranda? You don't tease them."

"I'm... a little uncomfortable teasing girls quite like _that_. I was raised to be respectful of women, you know. And besides, I still _tease_ them, you know. Just not in the same manner. Or do you not remember Lenalee choking my lights out while you kicked me in the head when we were in the Ark?"

Allen chuckled. "Yeah, now that you mention it, you did make some rather rude comments to Lenalee. Something about thinking sexy thoughts in order to get a lover?"

"Good god, Allen, you _remember exactly_ what I said?!" Lavi sounded shocked. "That's scary. You're supposed to forget details. Remembering details is _my_ prerogative, not yours!"

"Prerogative my ass!" Allen flopped over to face him, even though he couldn't see him in this all-consuming darkness. "Just 'cuz you're a bookman doesn't mean others can't remember details."

"Hey, what are you -- " Lavi yelped in surprise. "Allen, don't grope me there! In fact, don't grope me at all!"

"Oh, so you can tease me and call me Beansprout but I can't --?"

He was interrupted when Lavi surged up on top of him, pinning his arms down.

"There's a difference between _teasing_ and _seduction_. Don't cross that line. Just don't."

"I'm sorry, Lavi." Allen submitted himself, figuring that to be the easiest way to placate Lavi at this time. "I got carried away."

He felt Lavi lean in close to him, felt his breath against the skin of his face. "I want to be clear on this, Allen. It's not that I don't want you, it's that your age is a barrier I'm not ready to cross."

"I won't say that I agree, but I understand. Now, the least you can do is let me kiss you, you one-eyed freak!" Allen reached up in the dark and placed his hands on Lavi's jaw, pulling his face down and assaulting his mouth.

"Hey!" Lavi retorted when his mouth was free to speak again. "Who's the freak here -- the one with only one useable eye, or the one whose eye transforms into a monocle, and whose arm turns into a giant sword?"

"What about the freak whose anti-Akuma hammer can grow to the size of a house but the weight of it doesn't seem to affect said freak?" Allen laughed heartily. "I think we're both freaks, Lavi. That's why we get on so well."

"Hmm?" Lavi responded with a guttural growl. "I dunno, I think you're pretty freakish. But I wouldn't have you any other way." He aggressively kissed Allen, reminding the younger Exorcist rather suddenly of their first kisses, way back in a hotel room in the south of France. Allen had been on his back at that time as well, with Lavi straddling him, kissing him fiercely. The only differences were that back then they'd both been in their full uniforms, and things had been in flux between them. Now that a month or more had passed, they were more comfortable with each other, and thus Lavi didn't seem to mind assaulting Allen in this manner when both were in their pajamas.

Allen just gave himself over to Lavi's affections. This wasn't quite what he'd had in mind, but he'd take this intimacy over nothing any day.

* * *

It was another two weeks before they managed to get back home to the main Headquarters. Allen was almost sorry that it happened, because that meant that he and Lavi would be split apart at nights again. He couldn't even remember where Lavi's quarters were in the big spiral building.

On the other hand, it was _so_ good to be home. Hevlaska greeted them all quietly, but in such a heartfelt way that it was obvious that she'd been through a lot. The building was still in some level of shambles, with many of its laboratories completely ruined, but most of the living quarters were intact. Still, there were a lot of repairs and rebuilding to be done now.

Generals Cross and Socalo had dealt the Earl's side a devastating blow recently when they'd taken out what Socalo gleefully called "Baby Noah" -- a pair of Noah who had only just awakened to their Noah abilities, and hadn't gotten a chance to hone those skills and use them skillfully against Exorcists. The Earl was now in retreat, probably trying to find the rest of his Noah so as to build up his forces again. Level One Akuma were starting to pop up again, which meant that the Earl either had a new plant up and running, or had a bunch of premade bodies in storage somewhere. Either way, it looked like the Earl was going to leave them alone for a while.

No sooner had all the Order people gotten safely inside the building than Cross and Socalo cut and ran, beating a hasty retreat, lest they get roped into the rebuilding. General Klaud entertained everyone by her long, colorful cursing of the two other Generals, while Tiedoll just laughed at the whole mess and he and his apprentice rolled up their sleeves and dug right into the thick of things.

Lavi and Krory also dug right in and helped the support factions. Allen wanted to help, but Komui wouldn't let him, insisting he was still not at a hundred percent (which Allen found annoying, since it had now been a month or so since the incident in which he'd nearly bled to death).

Finally, in frustration, Allen retired to his living quarters, flopping down on his bed to think for a while.

_Last time I was in here, Lavi was just a friend, one I could count on in anything, but still merely a friend. Not someone I'd consider trying to deceive or pull the wool over the eyes of. Now he's more than a friend, and now I'm plotting ways to seduce him. Good god, I wonder if Mana would be so proud of me knowing what I want to do._

That was an extraordinarily uncomfortable thought. So uncomfortable, in fact, that Allen had to get up off the bed and pace a bit. Timcanpy, who had settled down on the bookcase, snapped its wings open in surprise and flapped irritably.

"Tim, am I... Do you think I'm wrong to want more out of my relationship with Lavi?"

Timcanpy mantled its wings as best it could and gave Allen a thoroughly blank look. It didn't understand his question. Not a surprise, really, considering it was a construct, not a natural creature. And it was used to Cross Marian, who probably had never been refused in his life. So of course, he couldn't ask advice from the thing. What the hell was he thinking? Allen finally flopped back down on the bed after a long silence.

The dreams of late came back to haunt him. They were getting increasingly explicit and more drawn out. Allen was a proper Englishman by nature, though he definitely had a kinky side -- which he'd always known; one wasn't apprenticed to Cross Marian without developing a rather healthy appreciation for the seedy, hedonistic side of life -- but even he was aghast at these dreams. And yet... they were damned intoxicating, those dreams. They partly horrified him, because of how he reacted to them internally, but they mostly fascinated him.

Well, maybe having separate rooms again would give him a reprieve from those feelings and dreams? Or at least, allow him to surrender to them in private, rather than hold himself rigid lest he react in a way he didn't want Lavi to know about.

On the other hand, he'd gotten used to the ambience of Lavi's slumber-breathing patterns and to having Lavi periodically snuggle up to him during the night, then after a while roll over away, all done unconsciously. Lavi was a restless sleeper, had always been so, as far back as Allen could remember from the beginning of their friendship and partnership, when they'd shared hotel rooms.

It was going to take some getting-used-to, sleeping alone... but then again, he wouldn't be tormented, he hoped, by those damned dreams. He could welcome them with some level of acceptance.

Gah! Not again! _Stupid human anatomy!_

There was a knock at the door.

_Oh, of course! Of_ all _the times!_

"Come in," he called, rolling onto his side and letting his coat fall so as to disguise that he was having a rather embarrassing anatomical reaction to his own racy thoughts.

"Disappearing on me like that, you moron -- you trying to make my life more difficult?" Lavi poked his head in and stuck his tongue out at Allen. "I'm still supposed to be watching you, you know. I just might have to check Tim's memory to see what you've-- " He was hit full in the fact with a pillow.

"Komui told me I couldn't help you guys, so I made myself scarce so as not to get in anyone's way!" Allen snapped peevishly. "I'm not deliberately slacking, you know!"

"Er," Lavi blinked. "I didn't say you were. What's gotten into you, Allen? You've been acting weirder and weirder lately. I'm having trouble figuring you out. Did I do something to upset you? Are you angry with me?"

"No, I'm just tired and cranky. I hate that Ark with a fury, you know. I hate using it, and I hate what it stands for. It's hard on me to use it. It just reminds me all over again why I hate the Earl, and not in a good way..." The physical discomfort of his inappropriate and impromptu arousal, combined with the emotional drain of the Ark, left Allen in a foul temper, not exactly the right mood to address Lavi with.

Lavi frowned contemplatively. "Hold that thought a moment. I'll be right back." He disappeared from the doorway. Allen's curiosity got the better of him and he forced himself to get up and go to the door, peeking out to see Lavi standing a little ways down the hallway, talking to Reever Wenhamm.

"This might take a while. He seems really upset. This seems to have been building up."

"Well, do whatever you need to," Reever said. "Just, keep in mind, it could be something as simple as the fact that he's still under suspicion by the Vatican. That's enough to rattle anyone."

"I don't think it's that simple, Reever. He's gotten more and more aggressive each time he's used that awful thing. I'm afraid that if he has to use it again, it could break him. As strong as he is, he's still fragile in some ways. I need to know why he hates it so much."

This was about as effective as a cold shower, Allen discovered, as his uncomfortable anatomical issues subsided abruptly. Unfortunately, it left him unexpectedly cold, and still quite upset. Why did everyone have to keep bugging him about that accursed Ark?

"That bastard Cross won't answer a single question, and I'm convinced that he's the one who knows about that Ark," Lavi was saying. "But since he's being so tight-lipped about it, the only other person we can ask is Allen. I haven't wanted to bug him about it, because it's clearly not something he likes to talk about, but these reactions of his are getting more and more drastic."

_Idiot. It's not the Ark that's getting on my nerves! It's... well, it's personal. But it's not the Ark!_

On the other hand, how was Lavi to know that?

Anxiety left a bitter taste in Allen's mouth. _I don't want to tell anyone about that Score, at least not until I get some answers out of Master Cross. I'm not going to let them drag Mana's memory through the mud just because they're going to think he's the Fourteenth Noah. If I tell them about the Score and where I think it came from, they're going to dig into his past, and probably desecrate his grave. There's no way I'm going to let them do that!_

Though, really, was it so much protectiveness of Mana's memory, or was it fear that what they'd find would confirm his worst fears? He didn't have an answer for that, and so he kept his mouth shut on the matter. Komui hadn't pressured him about it, even though Allen knew the Supervisor was under duress from his superiors to find out about Allen's connection to the Ark.

If Lavi questioned him about it, he wasn't sure he'd be able to hold his silence. Both Lavi and Bookman could be relentless interrogators when they wanted to be. It was probably a talent that the bookmen utilized when necessary; either that, or a by-product of the standard practice of the bookmen of assuming and abandoning personae with regularity.

Allen moved back over by the bed, plopping himself down on the floor in front of the bed and tipping his head back onto the mattress, looking at the ceiling. _Please, Lavi, don't make me talk about it. Don't make me implicate Mana._

There was a long delay before Lavi returned. His face was set to complete impassivity. He said nothing about Allen's change in location in the room, and silently moved over to the small chair by the desk. He pulled the chair out spun it around, and then straddled it, folding his arms on the chair's back. For a moment, Allen blinked at him, not understanding the significance of the gesture. Lavi was an informal person, but he wasn't normally the kind to behave like that in a serious discussion. He was informal, but not unprofessional.

After a long moment, he realized what Lavi's reasoning was: the chair was acting as a form of barrier, separating them. Exactly which of the two of them it was supposed to protect, he didn't know. But the chair was basically putting space between the two of them, if only metaphorically.

The silence between them stretched out. Allen didn't want to volunteer anything. If Lavi wanted that information, he was going to have to work for it.

Finally, Lavi sighed. "Allen, I need you to tell me what's bothering you. And don't you dare tell that it's 'nothing.' It's definitely not 'nothing' and you and I both know it!"

Allen brought his hands to his face. "I don't want to talk about it, Lavi."

"I can tell. But you're starting to really come apart at the seams. I need to know why you're so angry when you use the Ark."

Anger bubbled over. "Why? So you can write it up in your daily reports to the Vatican? _You_ try being under suspicion by the Vatican for so long, all because you did what you had to in order to save the people you loved! This is the thanks I get for saving my friends -- accusations of treason!"

Lavi was silent for a long moment. "Nothing you say will go any further than this room, unless you want it to. I'm not asking on behalf of the Vatican, or the bookmen, or the Black Order. I'm asking you this as your friend, as someone who loves you dearly and can't bear to watch you hurting like this. You and I... we have too many secrets between us. This shouldn't be one of them." His voice softened. "I just want to know what's eating you alive from the inside out, Allen. I can't stand to watch you suffer like this."

A combination of anger, resignation, sadness and frustration weighed on Allen's heart. "If I tell you, you have to swear to me that you won't tell anyone else. There's a reason I'm not talking about it. Until I get some answers from Master Cross, this has to go no further than between you and me, no exceptions."

Lavi seemed to weigh this in mind, and replied solemnly. "I told you, whatever you say here goes no further by me. I'll swear to it if you want me to, but I'd like to think you trust me a little more than that, to feel the need to bind me to an oath."

Presented thus, Allen knew he couldn't really force Lavi to pronounce an oath without basically calling him untrustworthy. Still... it wasn't that he didn't want to trust Lavi, it was that he didn't want to fear that the information would get out.

Lavi's right arm moved to his thigh, and he unholstered Oudzuchi Kodzuchi. As it was drawn, it grew to its usual fighting size. Lavi slammed the butt of the handle to the ground in front of the chair, placing his hand on the small cross that adorned the top of the hammer's head. "I don't swear on bibles, for what it's worth. I swear on that which is important to me. I'll bind my oath to my Innocence. Whatever you say herein stays between the two of us, except where you see fit. Will that work for you?"

Allen heaved a sigh; "Okay, okay." Lowering his hands, he fixed Lavi with a firm gaze. "The problem isn't the Ark itself -- it's the Score. You've seen it, right?" Allen reached over and picked up Timcanpy, who had settled on the bed next to Allen's head. "Timcanpy has the Score inside it. Show him, Tim."

The golem complied, projecting the bizarre wheel-shaped symbol that contained within it the melody, harmony and lyrics for a lullaby to calm the Ark.

"That's the Score, huh? Not like any musical score I've ever seen." Lavi's eye narrowed slightly as he analyzed the Score. "I've studied a lot of languages, including a couple of dead ones. I've never seen anything like that. And it doesn't look like a musical language either. What is it?"

Allen swallowed with difficulty; "It's a constructed alphabet that Mana and I created long, long ago. It was just a child's game, or so I thought. It was like a secret language, just between us. Mana used it to teach me how to read and write, but mostly, it was just our little game. Therefore, no one else ever knew it."

"So this isn't coincidence, that the Score that powers the Ark is written in that language." That wasn't a question.

"The Score doesn't power the Ark at all, Lavi. The Ark is always powered. What the Score does, is it enables me to control it. It soothes it. The Fourteenth Noah drove the Ark insane. The Score is a lullaby that calms it, entices it to do as I wish. It's like with a wild horse that's thrashing in a paddock. The quickest way to soothe him is to approach slowly, speaking softly and calmly."

Lavi acknowledged the correction with a nod of his head. "So, the score is written in a language only you and your father knew. Therefore, the logical conclusion is that he was the Fourteenth Noah."

"Mana was _not_ a Noah!" Allen exploded. "There's _no way_ Mana was a Noah!"

"How do you know?"

"Because Mana was... Mana was kind, and gentle, and he loved people. He was the most philanthropic person I ever knew. He loved _everybody!_ He was everything that the Noah we've met are _not!_ "

"And the Fourteenth Noah was also a traitor to the Earl. Doesn't it stand to reason that the motivation the Fourteenth might have had to betray the Earl would be out of love for the human race?"

"I refuse to believe that Mana was a Noah! _I will not accept that!_ "

"Why does that scare you so much, Allen? Are you afraid to admit that you might have loved a Noah?"

"The Noah are our enemies, Lavi! Unlike the Akuma, who are tormented souls turned into weapons, the Noah side with the Earl of their own free will! I may not _hate_ them, but I can't justify loving them either!"

"And yet you were the one who wanted to save Tyki Mikk, when we were in the Ark."

"I thought that he was no longer a Noah at that point! It wasn't out of affection for the Noah, it was out of consideration for the friends he'd left behind."

"Allen, listen to yourself. You're not making any sense! You're allowing for Tyki Mikk to care about humans, but not any other Noah?"

" _I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT MANA WAS A NOAH!_ " Allen roared, lurching to his feet, his fists clenched.

In the blink of an eye, Lavi was right in front of him, grasping his wrists. "Calm down, Allen. You're over-reacting. I'm not accusing anyone of anything, I'm just trying to understand what you're saying. Just calm down. You're intelligent and rational; stop trying to think with your heart in this."

"Mana can't be a Noah, Lavi," Allen insisted, trembling. "He just can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't believe that he'd ever betray anyone's trust -- even the Earl. Saying Mana was the Fourteenth Noah is saying he was a traitor."

"A traitor whose treachery has enabled us Exorcists to continue to fight the Earl. A traitor whose treachery may have been the salvation of humankind."

"Treachery for the sake of a good cause is still treachery, and that's not what Mana was like."

"You don't know that, Allen. You'd be surprised what someone you think you know will do when pressured." Lavi shook him gently and looked him hard in the eye: "What exactly are you so afraid of? You're taking this extremely personally. If it is indeed true, and it turns out that Mana was the Fourteenth, that doesn't affect you directly. That doesn't make you his successor; you've said yourself that you're not related by blood to him. And these Noah, that's one thing they share in common -- they're all descended from the original Noah, the one who built the original Ark. It doesn't affect you at all Allen."

"Yes it does!"

"How?"

"Because that will make everything a lie! Everything I've done and everything I've _been_ since he died -- it'll have _no meaning!_ " A sob escaped his throat. "I became an Exorcist to atone for my sin of making him an Akuma, and I promised him that I'd always walk forward, never looking back, and that I'd keep walking forward to whatever end of the road lay before me, keep walking until I die. He's been the source of strength for me. I don't want that to be a lie. I don't want my entire existence to be a lie, Lavi. The truths I do know about my own life are horrible enough. I don't want it all to be for nothing..." The weight of his anguish finally did him in; his knees gave out on him and he very nearly crumpled into a heap on the floor. Lavi's reactions were quick enough to catch him before he hit the ground.

Allen sagged in Lavi's arms, his entire body shaking with the sobs he was afraid to release.

"It's okay, Allen, I've got you. Let it out. Whatever it is, you've held it in too long. Let it out," Lavi said softly, gently lifting Allen up and supporting him. "I'm here for you. Just let it out. You don't need to keep putting on a brave face for me, you know."

It took no more prompting than that; the floodgates burst open and from the very depths of his gut, the sobs came thundering forth, gripping Allen in their iron grasp and holding him captive. Clinging to Lavi as though his life depended on it, Allen surrendered himself to wave after wave of crushing grief and guilt. Like a great hurricane at sea, the lachrymal episode battered at his insides and threatened to capsize his sanity, but every time he felt himself drowning in his laments, he felt a tug on a lifeline.

Time lost all relativity and ground to a halt as the maelstrom howled on. Allen vaguely distinguished a sense of physical movement, but he was so caught up in his emotions that he couldn't really concentrate on it. Eventually, the torrential sobs lessened as his energy ran out, until finally he was left trembling with fatigue, his emotions spent. Time shifted into gear and began to flow again, and he became aware of his surroundings again.

Lavi had moved the two of them over to the bed, and was sitting on the bed itself, with Allen draped across his lap, cradled in his arms.

Allen heaved a shaky sigh and pulled his face away from Lavi's shoulder, which was soaked with Allen's tears.

"Better?" Lavi inquired.

"Yeah..." Allen cleared his throat. "Sorry about that, Lavi."

"Don't apologize. You needed that. I'm guessing you've been holding that in for a long, long time." Lavi pecked a kiss to Allen's forehead. "I'm sorry for not noticing it earlier that you needed something like this. Chalk that one up to my being trained as an observer who isn't supposed to interfere."

Allen rested his forehead against Lavi's neck, right in the curve to the shoulder. He was exhausted, and his head was throbbing from the strain. And yet, he felt a little bit more at peace.

"I don't know how much you know about me, Lavi," he said after a long silence, "but I was abandoned by my birth parents shortly after I was born. Because of my arm, they left me to my fate. I was born in winter, late December, and Mana found me on Christmas Day. He used to tell me I was the best Christmas present he ever received."

"That's sweet," Lavi chuckled. "The two of you were close, it sounds."

"Mana was my entire world." Allen made slight whimpering noise in the back of his throat. "He's also the only person who ever wanted me. My own birth parents didn't want me, Master didn't really want me... Mana is all I ever had. That's why I can't bear the thought that even he deceived me."

"Abandonment sucks, doesn't it?" Lavi tightened his grip on Allen for a moment. "I know how that is. I was abandoned by my parents too. The thing is, I wasn't raised by a surrogate parent, per se. I don't know about my father -- I guess he died when I was really little, but I don't really know -- but I know that Mama always thought of me as a burden. I don't even remember her face, hardly. That was back before I'd trained my brain to memorize details minutely. One day she took me to this dark, underground place, handed me over to some old panda-faced geezer, then turned around and walked out of my life. I never saw her again. I was too much of a burden for her, so she dumped me into the care of the bookmen. I don't remember her face, but I remember her back, fading from view. Gramps has become the closest thing I've had to a parent, but most of my early care was handled by various bookmen I never got to know personally. Gramps handled my education.

"By the way, Allen, you're kind of wrong. Mana isn't the only person who ever wanted you, you know. Or am I just chopped liver?"

"Well, you're kind of a special case, Lavi."

"Hmm. Special, huh?"

There was another prolonged silence, before Lavi spoke, somewhat firmly; "Allen, you can deny it all you want, but if Mana Walker was the Fourteenth Noah, you can't change that. The evidence is pretty much overwhelming. Not only is that Score written in a language only you two knew, but when you turned him into an Akuma, he cursed you, and his curse left you with the ability to see Akuma souls, something I don't think even Noah can see. But your secret's safe with me. Besides, it sounds to me like you don't really have any answers anyway, just more speculation. The one who has the answers appears to be Cross."

"Yeah. Master built Timcanpy, which means he's the one who put the Score into Tim's memory; he might not be able to read the Score, but he knew about it and implanted it into Tim. And he told me exactly what to do when I got to the piano room. I've never played a piano in my life, but I was able to play that without failing." He paused a moment. "I just don't want Mana to be the Fourteenth. I want to believe that Mana was just an ordinary man."

"He might have been, Allen. Don't judge him just yet. But don't absolve him either."

Allen let out another sigh, this one softer. He closed his eyes and focused on inhaling Lavi's scent. It was almost intoxicating, when he thought about it. He'd become aware of Lavi's distinct scent during the time they'd shared a bed. It wasn't overpowering or anything, but it was distinctive, it was Lavi's, and it was a comforting scent to Allen. For the moment, he felt safe, somewhat relaxed, and at peace. He wouldn't mind if they stayed like this forever...

"Your hair's not naturally white, right?"

"No. That came with the curse."

"Funny, cuz even your eyebrows are white. What color was it before?"

"Light brown. Mana always said I looked like such a little English boy."

"You _are_ English, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah, but not everyone in England actually looks the part."

After yet another prolonged silence, Allen tilted his head away and looked at Lavi. "Say, when did you lose your eye?"

"'Lose' it? I didn't lose it. It's still there," Lavi said. "It's just next-to-useless." With his thumb, he flipped the patch up, revealing another kelly-green eye, though this one looked odd somehow. For one thing, it looked duller. And for another... "I think there's one or two optic nerves still connected, so I can distinguish light versus dark, but that's it. Can't determine colors, nor shapes, nor anything else, just light versus dark." His left eye shifted toward Allen; the right eye, however, didn't move. "D'you see its problem? It doesn't track. The tear-ducts also don't work quite right, and the eyelids don't close properly, so it gets dry really easy. Hence, the eyepatch. To protect it."

"What happened?"

"Freakish accident. The only thing I remember about it is that I hit my head really hard. It's one of the few things I don't remember the details of since becoming a member of the bookmen, but I have a pretty good reason not to remember -- I got a hell of a concussion. Gramps said they thought I was a goner there for a while. Thought I was going to have irreparable brain damage. And then I developed Bell's Palsy right after the whole mess."

"Bell's Palsy? What's that?"

"It's a paralysis of the face. Literally, half your face goes completely numb. None of the muscles work. It's not permanent, but it lasts for a long time. And it takes the muscles a long time to recover even after it's passed. Some muscles never recover properly, like my right eyelids. But nevermind that. Water under the bridge, and all that. How are you feeling now? Calmer?"

"Much better. Thanks, Lavi. You're really a godsend to me." Allen moved his arms up to encircle Lavi's shoulders. "I love you, and I'm so grateful that you're here for me."

"Hey, what are friends for? And lovers, for that matter. You know I love you and would do anything for you." He pulled Allen closer and kissed him firmly. "You are just about everything in the world to me. I've gotten close to a lot of people in my life, and most of them have died or turned me away in the end. But you... you're something different. I never felt this strongly about anyone; never wanted so badly to be at someone's side that I'd give up even the goals I've worked toward for so long."

Allen dropped his head down; "I hate that you have to give up on becoming the Bookman. I feel like I'm stealing your dream away from you."

"It was never my _dream_ to be the Bookman. It was more of an inevitable eventuality. Gramps chose me to be his successor; I could have refused, but what for? However, that doesn't make it my own dream. Since I met you, Allen, my whole world has opened up. What used to be just a distant mirage is now within my grasp." He kissed Allen again, but this time very tenderly. "I have you to thank for that, my love."

Predictably, Allen's stomach announced itself empty.

"Of _course_ ," Lavi said with a laugh. "Whenever we try to get all cozy, you have to go and get hungry."


	3. The Flames of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Lavi is assigned a difficult and dangerous mission that frightens him, he seeks comfort in Allen's arms... and gets much more than he bargained for. Allen is determined to consummate their relationship, and with Lavi in such a vulnerable state, Allen's charms prove to be too much to withstand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to point out that any commentary that is made in here regarding gay sex being an abomination or a perversion is a reflection of the time period in which this takes place -- the Victorian Age -- and is not a reflection of my own views. So please do not be angry me or take offense. 
> 
> Also, I know that the anime makes Allen's new arm black, but I prefer to think of it as a very dark red. That's probably just me looking at too many fanarts, but the concept of his skin being completely black just weirds me out -- makes me think of necrosis.

**Part Three: The Flames of Love**

 

" _Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet_ ," Lavi muttered, " _dolore magna aliquam erat volutpat_."

"Huh?" Allen's head snapped up from where he was concentrating on a report. The redhead was sitting cross-legged on Allen's bed, a clipboard in hand, working on something. His forehead was wrinkled with concentration. "What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Don't 'nothing' me! What'd you say?"

"I said ' _Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet--_ '"

"I _heard_ that much; what does that mean?"

"It's gibberish; it doesn't have a meaning."

"Then why'd you say it?"

"To make sure I got the word order right." Lavi looked up at him and pointed at the report in his lap. "It's me exacting a little bit of revenge on Gramps for making me do his report for him."

"It sounded Latin." Allen knew he was stalling now with his own report, but he liked talking with Lavi.

"It's supposed to. But trust me, Allen; I know basic Latin, and that's just pure nonsense. You can ask Komui if you think I'm yanking your chain, you know."

"I believe you, Lavi, I'm just... not understanding why you'd throw that in your report."

"T'ain't my report. It's the panda's. This is payback for making me write it for him. He said that if I'm not going to be his successor, I get to be his secretary while he hunts for a replacement. It's his justification for not wiping my memories of stuff I know that I shouldn't if I'm not going to be a bookman anymore."

Allen was just turning back to his report when the last sentence got his attention; "Wait, what?"

"What?"

"Wipe your memories?"

"I know way too much, you know; particularly about the Noah family. Only the Bookman himself is supposed to know about that kind of thing. So I'll be Gramps' correspondent here in the Black Order after he leaves and goes back to his duties as the Bookman."

"But.... he'd normally wipe your memories? How?"

"Hypnotism. The memories'd still be there, but I'd lose any interest in recalling them. There are often side-effects of that, of course. If he did that, I might forget about you, as well. That's why I'm doing this crap for him, so that he doesn't do that. I don't want to lose you." He said it all so matter-of-factly, but it sent chills down Allen's spine. "However, I can get a wee bit of revenge here and there, since he's being a jerk about it."

Allen put his pen down and stood up. The sound of the chair moving back and Allen standing up got Lavi's attention, and he looked up. Allen approached him, climbed onto the bed, and put his arms around Lavi.

"What's the matter, Allen?"

"What you just said... I don't know why, but it scared me silly." Allen pressed his cheek against Lavi's shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't want to lose you either."

Lavi set aside the paperwork he was working on, and pulled Allen into his lap. "I'm not going anywhere. I have to be the old geezer's lapdog for a while, I suppose, but I don't think he'll do that to me, partly because it'd upset _you_ too much. You're the one that he respects the most, I think, Allen. But don't worry. Like I said, it's not going to happen."

For a moment, Allen indulged his desire to be intimate with his beloved, snuggling against him. "I'm glad. I don't know what I'd do without you now."

"Now, now, no getting maudlin on me. That's not the Allen Walker I know and love."

Allen laughed and rolled himself out of Lavi's lap, landing rather ungracefully on the floor. Lavi looked at him with amusement; "Nice. Stick the landing next time and I'll give you a passing score."

Allen stuck his tongue out. "I'd like to see you do better!" He scrambled to his feet. Then, with a sigh, he sat down at the desk and resumed working on his report. Lavi picked up his clipboard and resumed his work as well.

It was going on four months since the incident in the French hotel that had advanced their friendship into romance. At least, that's what Allen guessed; he wasn't certain, since time seemed to meld together occasionally. Either way, the two of them had been conducting a furtive, secretive courtship of a sort for a while now, though they could still hardly truly call themselves lovers, for all that they had each risked their lives -- and nearly died in the process -- for each other.

It was frustrating that Lavi was still refusing all of Allen's advances to take their relationship to a much more intimate level. It seemed as though his staunch refusal to allow sexual contact was fanning the flames of the erotic dreams that plagued Allen almost every single night. He was pretty certain that if they didn't consummate this soon, he'd go crazy.

Shaking his head vigorously, Allen returned to his paperwork. He really needed to get this done. Then maybe Komui would leave him alone for a while.

He could at least hope...

Lavi, for his part, was struggling with his own desires and impulses. For the past couple of weeks now he'd been suffering from some amazingly erotic and explicit dreams that usually consisted of himself and Allen doing nothing but... well... the best word to describe it had to be "fucking." He was glad that he and Allen had separate rooms now that they were home in the Black Order, since his bodily reactions to these dreams was rather embarrassing. It was bad enough that he still shared his room with Bookman, who he was certain was watching his every move.

Last night, in particular, the old panda had asked Lavi (right as the redhead was taking a drink, no less!) point blank if he was having sex with Allen Walker yet. Lavi had sputtered in disbelief at such presumption, and had ended up swallowing wrong and had choked. When Lavi had asked him if he seriously believed Lavi to be a pedophile who would stoop that low with a minor, Bookman had smacked him. _Hard_.

_"Young idiot, his age is not much of a barrier to you. For one thing, as long as you are here in the Black Order, he is considered an adult because he is an Exorcist, and one who has reached Critical point at that." The old man glared at Lavi. "And for another, sex of that sort is considered a perversion anyway, so whether you're a pedophile or a pervert, there's no difference. And perhaps someone should remind you that you're little more than a child yourself. If you're feeling sorry for yourself because he's three years younger than you, it's your own damned fault for falling in love with him in the first place."_

Lavi shook his head to clear his thoughts. Not right now, dammit!

He returned his attention to the report he was finishing, deciding to randomly throw in a few extra mock-latin lipsum into the mix, just to see if the crusty old panda paid attention. He was willing to bet that Bookman would only glance peripherally over the report before signing it and sending it on.

He heard a strange cracking sound and then Allen uttered an expletive. He looked up. "What happened?"

"Pen broke," Allen grumbled, wiping ink quickly away from his report. "I guess I shouldn't use my left hand for this; it's not as tactile as it used to be before I lost and regained it."

"Must be nice, being ambidextrous."

"Mm, sometimes." Allen shrugged as he blotted up the ink and then hunted in his desk drawer for another pen. "Well, at least I only ruined a couple of sentences. That shouldn't be too hard to redo."

"There, I'm done with mine. How about you? How much longer you got?" Lavi snapped the clipboard's clip shut over the coversheet for the report.

"Hmm, not much further. Do me a favor, Lavi, and activate your hammer. I need to see if I can judge your synchronization rate. I was so far off the mark with Catherine's that they think I don't know what I'm doing. You've visited Hevlaska recently, right?"

"Yeah, I did, and yes, she gave me a ratio. My only qualm with this is... uh... do you have to document it? It's kinda embarrassing how low my rate is. It's dropped since I used Maximum Invocation."

"I'm only going to record it if I get it right. Or even close enough." Allen twisted sideways in the chair and turned his attention to Lavi, who drew his anti-Akuma weapon and activated it. The hammer grew to a decent size in his hand; the Innocence within it caused it to glow a soft green.

A series of numbers appeared in Allen's head, seeming to surround the point where Lavi's hand gripped the handle of the hammer. It was hard to pick one, but finally Allen grabbed the one that seemed to hover nearest to Lavi's hand. "Sixty-five."

"What the hell?" Lavi blinked. "Seriously?"

"Did I get it?"

"Hell no. Seventy-two point three, thank you very much. I can still unlock the second level of my Innocence."

"Dammit! What am I doing wrong? This is so bloody annoying!"

"Perhaps you should go ask Hevlaska what you're doing wrong," Lavi said as he holstered the hammer and got up off Allen's bed. "I'm gonna go hand off this report to Gramps and then I'm going to stop by the cafeteria. What do you want me to bring back for you?"

"A couple of sandwiches should tide me over until dinner time. Damn, no wonder they won't acknowledge me as a General. Not that it matters, I'm not necessarily eager for it, but bloody damn I hate not being able to do this right. I should be able to. Why can't I?"

"Right. Okay. Don't rip your hair out over that report, Allen. I like your hair the way it is."

Allen chuckled and returned to writing this stupid report.

* * *

The door scraped open.

"Oi, Allen, think fast!"

A paper-wrapped sandwich flew through the air. Allen snatched it out of the air without even turning around.

"And again." Another one. "And again!" Yet another one. "Last one!" Timcanpy grabbed this one.

"Hey, Tim, I got one for you, that's Allen's!"

The golem dropped the sandwich onto the desk, flitting eagerly in the air. Allen turned this time, watching as Lavi handed the golem an unwrapped sandwich. Tim grabbed the sandwich with its little paws and started chowing down.

"That thing's appetite is amazing; almost as amazing as yours, Allen."

"Mmph?" Allen had already tucked into one of the sandwiches tossed to him, and muttered around the mouthful. "Mmph-hmm."

"Heh," Lavi chuckled. "Well, I'll be in my room if you need me. I'm feeling really run down right now. I hate doing the old panda's reports."

Allen swallowed quickly and turned around; "You're welcome to stay here, you know. You're really not bothering me at all; I like your company!"

"I know, but I'm knackered. If you need me, you know where to find me."

Lavi hastily exited the room, moving to the stairwell and taking the steps two and three at a time. He wasn't as tired as he put on; he just wanted to some privacy. No, scratch that -- he _needed_ some privacy.

As he barged into the room he shared with Bookman, he reached for the dresser, and was clobbered by a pair of tiny fists.

"Next time write a real report, slacker!" The old man snapped angrily. "Not some bullshit report full of lipsum and random commentary."

"Ow, dammit!" Lavi ducked his head. "Then write your own, I can't read your mind!"

"No, not when your brain is centered in your nether regions lately!"

Lavi gave his surrogate father a grumpy look. "Look, Gramps, I need to take a shower. If you need me to rewrite it, I'll do it afterwards." He pushed the old man aside and grabbed a change of clothes from his dresser, and a towel from the tiny linen closet.

"Clean up after yourself this time, kid," Bookman said acidly as Lavi headed toward the washroom. "If you're going to use the shower for _that purpose_ , at least clean up after yourself." He gave Lavi a piercing look. "I still say you should just get it over with. This hesitation is only making you muddleheaded."

Lavi looked away to disguise his blush of embarrassment. He slammed the washroom door behind him, stripped out of his uniform, and stepped into the shower stall. He was so agitated that he forgot to take off his eyepatch and headband until he was already being deluged by lukewarm water. Ah well, what did it matter? He wasn't really here for hygienic purposes. He was here for alleviation. This was the only acceptable way to ease the discomfort in his groin.

* * *

Allen stepped out of his shower stall and wrapped his towel around himself. His hair dripped into his eyes. Timcanpy had been riding on his head the whole time, and had helped him scrub his scalp. The golem loved the feel of hot water running over its body, and it liked to knead its little paws in Allen's hair. And since Tim did a better job of detangling the mess of hair than Allen's bizarrely-jointed left hand, he let the golem do as it pleased.

He squeezed the water out of his hair and after toweling his body off, he shooed Tim out of his hair and scrubbed it with the towel. Then he shook his head vigorously, rather like a dog after a bath. He reached for his undergarments and slipped them on, then stepped out of his washroom, tossing the towel down the hamper chute.

He pulled his pajamas from his dresser and dressed quickly. He was just turning the sheets on his bed down when Timcanpy began whirling around his head in what seemed like agitation.

"Tim?"

The golem began flying in a gleeful pattern, circling near the door. Allen had no sooner deduced that the golem was in fact happy, not upset, when there a knock at the door. For a moment Allen feared that meant that his Master was nearby, but decided he'd done nothing wrong; he shouldn't fear Master Cross so much now.

"Come in," Allen called, fluffing his pillow.

The door opened, and for a moment Allen's stomach dropped through the floor at the sight of red hair. But it was short, spiky and unruly red hair, not long, wavy, glossy red hair.

"Is something wrong, Lavi?" Allen's concern spiked. Lavi had a very distressed look on his face. It had been a couple of hours now since he'd taken his leave of Allen rather abruptly, and now he looked upset.

"Is it all right if I spend the night with you, Allen?"

"Of course it's okay, Lavi, don't be silly!" Allen grabbed onto Lavi's arm and pulled him into the room. "You're always welcome here, you know! What happened?"

"Gramps and I just got assigned a mission that could get ugly." Lavi engulfed Allen in his arms, squeezing tightly, as though afraid of letting go. "I don't know why, but it has me scared senseless. I hate Rome."

"Rome?"

"Yes, Rome. The Eternal City. It scares the teeth out of me. I can't even explain why."

Allen embraced him and hugged him reassuringly. "I've been to Rome a number of times. It's okay. Just stay away from the Vatican if you don't want to have your brain broken with mind-numbing idiocy. What kind of mission is it anyway? Innocence? It seems like Marie would be better to send to Rome if that's the case."

"No, it's not exactly Innocence itself; more like a possible Rosetta Stone sort of thing. A possible key to decoding the Cube. Since Gramps and I are the only Exorcists capable of reading Latin and ancient Greek, we're both being sent down to retrieve it. But the thing is, supposedly the place is crawling with Noah. And me with my low synch rate. It's not bad enough that this is Rome, which I dislike anyway. We're probably going right into the hornets' nest."

Allen gripped Lavi's shoulders; "If there's Noah there, you shouldn't be going with just Bookman -- you need someone stronger with you! I'll go talk to Komui, I think I should go with y--"

"Oh hell no, Allen," Lavi retorted, constricting his grip. "You're not going anywhere. That's my only consolation -- that you won't be dealing with them. I'm counting on you being safe and sound for me to return to. You've done enough. Besides, we're meeting up with Cross or Socalo -- whoever gets there first -- just outside Rome, so we're going to have a General with us. But that doesn't make it any easier, leaving here. Leaving you. That's why I want to spend tonight with you. Because I have no idea how long I'll be gone..." There was a delay as Lavi sucked in a shaky breath and spoke almost inaudibly, "...or even if I'll be coming back."

"I won't let you go like that!" Allen said fiercely. "Not with that attitude of yours, anyway. I'll fight tooth and nail, but I won't let you go into a mission with such a nihilistic outlook! I'll give you a reason to stay alive and come home! If you don't come back, I'll chase after you and _drag you back!_ "

Lavi chuckled tiredly. "That's one of the things I love about you, Allen. You're just so optimistic. The Vatican is demanding that you open the Ark to let Gramps and I pass through, to pick up that thing quickly, but... amazingly enough, Gramps refused to travel through it. I didn't have to say a word. I have no idea if he's figured something out, but he says he will not use that thing again, except under extremely dire circumstances, of which this is not." There was a moment of silence before Lavi spoke again; "If he did figure something out, Allen, I want you to know that I didn't tell him. I haven't told anyone."

"I believe you," Allen said reassuringly. "Bookman didn't get to his position by being ignorant, right?"

"Heh," the redhead snorted. "Gramps is one of the best of the clan, probably in the history of the clan. I just hope he can find someone he sees as suitable as my replacement." He then stumbled a bit. "Gah. Damn I'm tired. Sorry."

"Come on, I was just getting ready for bed anyway. Take your boots off and get into the bed. I'll keep you safe and comfortable for tonight." Allen gave him a gentle push onto the bed. He busied himself with tidying up the stacks of paperwork and books everywhere. Lavi tiredly shucked his boots from his feet and draped his uniform jacket over the bedpost at the foot. Then he climbed into the bed, which was large enough for two to share intimately though it was snugged against the wall, and promptly curled up against the wall. He pulled his headband down to cover his eyes.

It made Allen's heart ache to see Lavi so distressed. It also made him feel bad that he was planning to use Lavi's vulnerability to his own advantage. He loosened the drawstring on his pants struggling to keep some level of control on the heat building in his groin. He wasn't sure if he'd succeed, but this was likely his best chance, and if Lavi was that distressed about not surviving this mission... Allen shook his head. Lavi was a survivor. He'd make it through the mission just fine.

Lavi must have sensed something was different, because he pulled up the headband just as Allen turned out all but the light on the nightstand next to the bed. "Allen? What are you doing?"

"Coming to bed, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"You have a funny look on your face."

Allen hiked a leg up onto the mattress and sat down, sidling his hip up against Lavi's. He placed a hand on Lavi's chest. "Lavi... right here and now, I need you. I know you like to throw my age into my face, but... dammit, I _need_ you right now. I've needed you for a long time, and it's only getting worse. I don't know if I'll be able to stand it while you're gone if we don't..."

"Allen -- " Lavi's voice was husky and throaty. "Allen -- this isn't..."

"I want to make love to you, Lavi," Allen said softly. "I've wanted to for a long time now, and each night it just gets harder and harder."

"Each... what?" Lavi blinked. He was definitely alarmed, but if the color in his cheeks was any indication, Allen was definitely getting somewhere with him.

"I dream about you," Allen said simply. "Every. Single. Night. And it's getting harder and harder to endure."

"You... you do too? Are they... are they really explicit? Your dreams?"

"Achingly so. I'd swear that they're real, except when I wake up, I'm alone. And the scenery is usually different."

Lavi looked away from him, turning his attention the grey stone wall. Allen could almost smell the indecision. This was a crucial fork in the road, so to speak. He held his breath.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Allen?" Lavi finally said. "Once we cross that line, there's no going back." He sat up, drawing his knees up to his chest and draping his arms across his knees; he rested his forehead against his arms. "I... I don't want to ruin everything, Allen. You're far too dear to me. I'd rather be celibate my entire life than ruin this."

"You won't hurt me, Lavi," Allen scoffed gently, reaching out to run his fingers through the dark russet hair. "I'm pretty tough, you know. I've suffered some pretty hideous injuries, and I'm okay. I don't think you're capable of inflicting that kind of pain on me. You won't scare me off that easily. And don't think that if you manage to resist me tonight that I'll back down. I'm going to get you in the sack, damn you! Don't make me go ask Catherine or General Klaud advice on how to seduce a guy!"

Lavi chuckled softly, peeking over his knees at Allen with a coy grin. "You little...argh! I think I deserve an award for resisting your charms this long. Goddamn, I should be getting sleep, but... very well, you little tease, come here." He grabbed Allen by the arm and pulled him sharply toward himself; Allen collided with him and the two of them tumbled into a heap. Allen quickly found himself flipped onto his back, with Lavi leaning over him, scrutinizing him.

"First things first, ditch the clothing," Lavi muttered.

Allen laughed as the two of them tugged on each other's shirts at the same time. "This isn't going to work, you know! Maybe we should take off our own clothes and try that technique some other time when we have time to refine it?"

"Ah, um, good idea... you know, you're kinda weirding me out, with how much logic you're using here, Allen!"

Allen just sort of shrugged as he pulled his shirt off; Lavi shucked his own and tossed it rather carelessly across the other bedpost. However, when Allen moved to remove the rest of his clothes, Lavi forestalled him.

"No. We're going to do this slowly. We're going to do this the right way, or at least what feels like the right way; since this is our first time, we really shouldn't rush it."

"Just don't you back out on me!" Allen said in a fierce whisper. "I won't forgive you if you keep cockblocking me!"

This time Lavi's chuckle came from deep in his throat, a soft, thrumming and indulgent laugh. He was propped up on one elbow, looking down at Allen with a most voracious look in his kelly-green eye. It was almost unnerving how thick his desire was. The vigor of his outgoing and forceful personality gave Allen pause for a bit. He wasn't about to let Lavi dominate this whole event, but for now, he was content to let his lover dictate things.

Lavi leaned down and captured Allen's mouth possessively. His tongue snaked forth, probing exploratively. He held onto Allen's mouth until the younger Exorcist broke away, gasping for breath.

"Stop trying to smother me, dammit! You've done that before!" Allen cuffed Lavi in the chest very gently. In response, the redhead arched his neck and nipped at Allen's throat. With his fingers, he traced the patterns of dark red skin that adorned Allen's left shoulder, where the Innocence arm was fused with his human arm. The skin was considerably darker than the curse mark over his left eye, but it was in fact a very deep red, though in many lights it looked almost black. And despite the fact that the left hand was not quite as dexterous as the right hand, the skin of the entire arm was still very much alive with nerves, nerves that reacted instantly to being caressed.

"Any time you want me to stop, just say it," Lavi said, the tip of his tongue brushing against Allen's jugular. "I can't promise I'll stop right away, so you'll have to be insistent."

"I don't want you to stop, Lavi," Allen said, trying very hard not to moan. "Not until sunrise."

"Not until sunrise," Lavi agreed, his voice sounding feral in the thickness of his emotions.

* * *

_Not until sunrise, huh? Didn't quite work out that way, though it's not his fault._ Allen smirked to himself as he buried his nose in Lavi's hair, inhaling his scent as though he couldn't get enough of it. The half-light of the moon cascaded through the window, bathing the two of them in its blue-white gaze. Allen was reclining against his pillow, with Lavi cradled in his arms; Lavi was sound asleep, and in his exhaustion, he was almost snoring.

They had made love for just over an hour before exhaustion had prevented Lavi from being able to do anything more. He had drowsily apologized several times before nodding off. Allen's whole body felt heavy and lethargic (and some areas felt a bit sore), but he refused to sleep; he wanted to savor every last moment with his lover.

That had certainly been an eye-opening experience, to say the least. Mind blowing, if one got right down to it. No matter how much he'd envisioned it, the real thing was so completely different. It had been awkward, uncomfortable, and at times almost painful. Not to mention messy! And yet... it had been an exquisite kind of discomfort. It hadn't been comfortable at the moment it was happening, but the delayed reactions afterwards had left him weak-limbed with satiation.

It had been even weirder feeling when they had switched roles. Allen knew that there was nothing natural about what he was doing, but he'd felt as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

Nothing... nothing natural?

_The church is full of bullshit, pure and undiluted,_ he thought savagely, his grip on Lavi tightening for a moment. _If it's heretical for me to love him this way, then they can keep their dogmas. They're already calling me a traitor and a heretic for saving everyone. They can just go... ugh._

That train of thought startled Allen a little bit. He didn't usually harbor such animosity towards anyone, but the Vatican had put him through the wringer.

Lavi shifted in his sleep and murmured. Allen stroked his lover's cheek, soaking up this peaceful afterglow like a sponge; it was going to have to last him who knew how long.

A shiver ran down his spine. Lavi was uncharacteristically spooked by this mission. And now that he thought about it, he remembered that Lavi had always gotten quiet whenever someone talked about Rome. Any other large city, and he could join the conversation enthusiastically. He could rhapsodize about the beauty of Madrid and Barcelona, the aura of mystique of Cairo and Alexandria, the intoxicating history and majesty of Athens, the sensory overload of London and Paris, the rigid but friendly people of Berlin... but Rome had always been the one big city he would never talk about. He'd only talk about the Vatican as though it was an entity, not a location. Allen had even gotten Kanda to talk about Rome before, in so much as anyone could get the reticent Kanda to talk about anything.

What was it about Rome that scared him so much? Allen couldn't recall anyone who didn't at least respect Rome for its rich history and its part in the shaping of the world. Klaud Nine had expressed a distinct dislike for the city itself just because of its chaotic nucleus, preferring the rigid organization of Roman-built cities like London. She just hated chaos; she had commented that Rome could be a beautiful city if it weren't so damned random. Tiedoll adored Rome because of its beauty -- he claimed he could always find an artistic muse when he was there.

Come to think of it, Lavi wasn't always afraid of Rome. Very early into their partnership and friendship, when they'd been hunting for Cross, some evenings Lavi would regale Allen with stories of his adventures as a bookman (Allen still wasn't sure how much of what he'd said was truth and how much was fabrication for the sake of the story), and Rome had been featured a few times.

So why was he suddenly so frightened of Rome that being assigned a mission there had sent him diving into Allen's arms in distress? Lavi was normally so stoic when it came to distress. He was very open and freely expressive of his happier emotions, but when it came to things that pained him, he buried them, saying that such emotions and such reactions didn't jive with the persona of "Lavi" that he wore. Allen was willing to grant Lavi the benefit of the doubt that falling in love had upended much of his rigid internal structure with his persona. But even then, he shouldn't be this frightened of a mission. He'd been in dire straits and mortal danger a number of times. And he'd be working with a General -- Cross had Maria's shielding abilities, and Socalo had inhuman speed and strength. Both Generals would defend (probably, at least; Allen certainly hoped they would) Lavi with every fiber of their abilities. And Lavi himself was no pushover. Even without his Innocence, he was a force to be reckoned with. He'd held his own against Noah before.

Come to think of it, Lavi had never once expressed fear of actually _dying_ on this mission, only of _not returning_.

Allen ran a hand down Lavi's chest, as if to memorize every single muscle, every curve and knot of sinew. Even every minute scar and blemish on his torso was to be savored and treasured. Even the light dusting of copper-colored hair down the center of his chest... all was precious and dear to Allen.

_Rome: the Eternal City. It scares me. I can't even explain why... I have no idea how long I'll be gone, or even if I'll be coming back._

What had Lavi meant?


	4. Water in the Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allen is assigned to accompany Lavi to Rome to retrieve the possible decoder. Allen tries to get Lavi to tell him what he's so afraid of. Lavi reveals that there is a barrier around the Vatican, a purifying barrier that could put his tenuous grasp on his persona as "Lavi" in jeopardy.

**Part Four: Water in the Earth**

The first sensation that Lavi identified upon rising to consciousness from the dark warmth of slumber was a feeling of peace and comfort. It was a sensation of tenderness and love unrivalled by anything he'd ever felt before. For a fraction of a moment, he thought that this must be what it's like to be held by a loving parent. Then his common sense took over. He was far too old for that. And his mother had abandoned him long ago.

The second sensation was that of warmth and proximity. He could feel another person's warm skin beneath his head, could hear the respiration and the steady beating of the heart. He knew this scent well, and the timbre of breathing. Opening his eyes, he realized his pillow was in fact his lover's chest. Not that he was surprised.

The third sensation was of a confusing disorientation. His vision seemed to be off. The room seemed to be lit wrong... Closing his left eye, he figured out instantly what was wrong. His right eye was uncovered and open. He felt around for the eyepatch, wondering if he'd knocked it askew in his sleep. No, it was completely off. _What the hell'd I do with it?_

The fourth and final sensation he felt upon awakening was purely emotional -- it was a wave of adoration, warm and soft, swelling up around his heart. It made his eyes sting with tears, tears he didn't even know the reason for. Relief? Love? Happiness? Contentment? Regret that he would be leaving this sanctuary?

"Allen?" He found himself speaking as he tilted his head to look up at his lover's face. "Are you awake?"

"Of course I am," Allen said, stroking Lavi's hair tenderly. "Did you sleep well?"

Lavi yawned. "Thanks for putting up with me, Allen. I know I'm a real pain sometimes."

"Nonsense. It's been no trouble at all. I'm just glad you were able to sleep. You were so stressed last night."

"Ha! Not for long. You made sure of that! You are such a coy little tease, Allen. I really didn't want to do this so soon. I was hoping to wait until you were eighteen, or, failing that, until you were at least sixteen." He pushed himself up a bit and kissed Allen. "I love you, nevertheless. In spite of myself, I love you."

Allen caught his face in his hands and held him to the kiss, his eagerness for a reprise of last night's passion as clear as day. Lavi, feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable with his emotions, responded automatically, his ardor enflaming him and driving him past the point of caring that this was all _so damned awkward_ and rather uncomfortable. Really, this was madness; he couldn't imagine why Allen was so eager to continue this. His own backside was still complaining; he had a feeling that sitting still would be a challenge for a while.

"Wait," Allen said as Lavi raised himself up to move in for the connection. "No... not there." His sheepish expression told Lavi all he needed to know in an instant: he was sore too. Obviously, both of them being virgins not entirely sure what the hell they'd been doing, they'd done it all completely wrong; hence the discomfort and pain. And yet, the delirious highs of climax had made up for it, so it hadn't been a total loss. But, they were both going to have to be careful for a while now, until they got things figured out.

"Now this is a nice twist," Lavi chuckled. "Last night you were accusing _me_ of cockblocking you; and now you're the one doing the cockblocking. What the hell, Allen?" He was just glad that his passion hadn't gotten his blood up to the point where everything got weird. He paused a moment to get himself under control, before nibbling affectionately at Allen's neck.

"I never said you couldn't, I just said, 'not there.' Don't put words in my mouth!" Allen teased gently, twining a thick lock of red hair in his fingers.

Lavi's grin became positively obscene. "Oh? Shall I put _something else_ in your mouth?"

That got the desired response. Even as randy as he had been the night before, Allen still had some level of innocent charm, because he blushed at the implication. "Lavi!"

"Ooh, dirty minds think alike, huh?"

"I didn-- Lavi, you _pervert!_ "

That sent Lavi onto his back, howling with laughter. Allen kicked him in the shins in annoyance.

"It's _not_ funny!"

"Oh yes it is!" Lavi grinned. "Don't worry, I'm not really in the mood for that anyway. Isn't it bad enough that I have to leave here soon? I'd much rather just relax." He rolled over and pulled Allen close. "With any luck, this mission to Rome won't take long. If it takes too long, there could be some serious problems, though."

"What is it about Rome that scares you so much, Lavi?"

"Eh? Oh, it's not that I'm scared of Rome, I just hate that place. Too much bloodshed in its history."

 _He doesn't honestly believe that, does he?_ Allen thought to himself. _Granted, Roman history is pretty violent and bloody, but you can hardly say that any other country is saintly in comparison._

"You expect me to believe that?" he said aloud. "Lavi, don't insult me. I'm not stupid or ignorant, you know. For one thing, Rome itself isn't responsible for what its people did. And for another, the Roman Empire was no more bloody and violent than the Greek civilization."

"Wrong. Roman history is considerably more brutal than Greek history," Lavi said as he located his eyepatch and put it on. "But that's not quite what I meant anyway. There's just something about Rome that gives me a bad feeling. Like there are ghosts there that won't sleep. I don't like that place. I avoid it when I can. And if there are Noah around? That's just a recipe for agony."

Allen didn't respond to that and sat up, looking somewhat distressed. Lavi blinked at him.

"Allen? Are you okay?"

"Why both of you? Why both you and Bookman? Why not Bookman with someone else? Why do _you_ have to go?"

"I'm the one with the photographic memory, Allen."

"So? You're going there to bring back an artifact, right?"

"Well, yes, but in the event that the Vatican gets their hands on it first, they're not going to give it to us. Also, if the Noah get their mitts on it, they're going to destroy it. Therefore, if I can get one good look at it, that's good enough; I can duplicate whatever's written there, even if I don't understand it. Ideally, the Order would prefer that we bring it back here, but if that's not possible, I can duplicate its information if I get a good look at it."

Allen rubbed his hands over his eyes; "I never thought I'd hate something about you so much, but that memory of yours? Right now, I hate it. I don't want you to go. Or if you go, I want to go with you. I'll worry myself sick while you're gone."

"Ah, don't worry. I just hate Rome and the way it makes me feel; as long as Gramps is with me, though, there shouldn't be any problems. He knows how to keep me in line."

"You were sure freaked out last night."

"I know; I'm not looking forward to it, I'll have you know. But now that I've gotten some sleep, I'm able to think clearer; I think everything will be fine."

The room was rather suddenly bright and light from the window.

"Whoa," Lavi said, shielding his eye. "What the heck?"

"Must've been some clouds in front of the sun and they moved."

"Geez, is it already that late into the morning? I'm surprised no one's come beating the door down!"

"Did they know you were going to come spend the night with me?" Allen tossed back the covers and got up, stretching.

"Well, no, but there are enough people who know about us that they'd probably at least come ask you if they can't find me."

"You do have a point. Well, it's not _that_ early. In case you didn't notice, my room's on the eastern side of the building, so the morning light hits my room sooner than yours."

"Yeah, but I thought Gramps and I were going to head out after first light. Damn. He must not be in that big of a hurry."

Allen turned to his lover and bent over, giving him a tender kiss. "I'm going to take a shower, Lavi. I am absolutely covered in dried sweat." He paused a moment in speaking, and cleared his throat. "Among other things, I suppose. But mostly sweat."

"Nice, Allen." Lavi grimaced at the implication. "Just go take your shower. I want one too, by the way. Might as well start this stupid mission off on the right foot."

The white-haired Exorcist grabbed a towel from his linen closet and headed into his washroom. Lavi just flopped back into the covers of the bed, drawing them over his head.

_I don't want to leave. I'd give almost anything to just stay here with you, Allen. I'm so sorry for lying to you about Rome, but I just don't want you to worry so much. I don't want you worrying about what you can't affect. And you can't do anything, even if you go with us. If I have to go into the Vatican, Gramps is the only one who can prevent that barrier from completely erasing "Lavi" from me. I don't want you to see what I'm going to have to go through if I have to go inside the Vatican's barrier, Allen. The personality that lurks deep within me is one thing I don't want you to ever have to see._

There was movement within the bedding, and he popped them up a bit, wondering what on earth that was. His question was answered almost immediately when he saw Timcanpy crawling towards him. It looked curious. He reached out a hand and gave the little golem a little scritching with his finger. Timcanpy leaned into the impromptu attention, like a tiny pet.

In short order, Allen was out of the shower. "Your turn, Lavi." He tossed his towel down the hamper chute as he grabbed some clothes and started dressing.

"All right. Your golem is being friendly," Lavi said as he pulled back the covers. Tim came fluttering out and it started circling Allen's head.

Allen chuckled. "Tim likes you, Lavi. You haven't figured that out?"

"How am I supposed to know what a construct likes or doesn't like?" Lavi grabbed up another towel from the linen closet, noting that Allen's room had more towels than his room usually did. He headed into the washroom and stepped into the shower to wash the sweat and other dried bodily fluids from his body.

While he was in the shower, Allen pulled on his usual outfit of a clean white shirt and dark gray trousers. He threaded a dark red ribbon through his collar and tied it off. He had just pulled his boots on when there came a knock at the door.

He pulled the door open, to discover a young Finder standing at his door.

"Allen Walker? The Head Supervisor requests your presence in his office soon. Also, uh, do you know where Lavi might be?"

"I might. Why?"

"He is also requested by Head Supervisor Komui. All Exorcists are being summoned."

"I'll send Timcanpy to find him," Allen said, dismissing the Finder. He felt slightly guilty being so abrupt with the Finder; he was normally much nicer and more gracious with them. But right now he didn't want to risk Lavi coming out of the washroom while the Finder was standing there. He closed the door and leaned against it in relief. Timcanpy fluttered in the air next to him, looking at him inquisitively.

After a few minutes, Lavi stepped out of the washroom, toweling off his hair. It was something of a shock to Allen to see his lover stark naked in such a context. While he had seen Lavi this way last night, it had been in the darkness broken only by the moon's half-light, which of course made it more romantic and less startling. But now? Well, the context was far from erotic, but that didn't stop Allen from feeling something reacting in his groin.

Luckily, Lavi wasted no time grabbing up his clothes and getting dressed. Allen allowed himself a few moments to calm his hot blood before speaking. "Lavi, we're both being summoned to Komui's office."

"Huh? I thought Gramps and I were going to be heading out right away. Hmm. All right. Anything to postpone this wretched mission, I suppose." Lavi zipped up his uniform jacket and strapped his weapon's holster onto his leg. Allen pulled his own coat from his closet and the two of them set out from the room. Allen was rather glad that the Finder that had informed him of the summons was nowhere to be seen. It would be kind of weird to have that Finder see Lavi exit Allen's room.

When they arrived in Komui's office, the large circular room was somewhat crowded with the other Exorcists. The only Exorcists missing were the four Generals , who were all away on missions, the apprentices of two of those Generals, and ironically, Bookman himself.

Komui motioned the two late arrivals to come forward.

"There's been a last minute change of plans, Lavi. You're still going to Rome, but I'm assigning you some companions, because Bookman can't go with you after all."

"What? Why?"

"He got an emergency call from one of the clan in Denmark, and had to leave late last night."

Lavi's face became stormy; "What the fuck does the Copenhagen branch of the clan want with Gramps?"

"It's none of my business," Komui said, giving Lavi a sharp look, "so I didn't ask. My priority is the retrieval of that artifact. As such, I have to send you, Lavi, and I'm sending a few others with you. You have the widest range of reading abilities, but there are some languages that are beyond your scope, correct?"

"Of course there are."

"Arystar Krory, if I'm not mistaken, you can read archaic Hebrew. Is that correct?"

"Yes," the baron said. "My grandfather taught me that one. I cannot _speak_ the language very well at all, but I can read it."

"And Lenalee is very literate in all the Chinese alphabets," Komui said, his face becoming strained. "We have reports of at least two confirmed Noah clansmen in the area -- Road Kamelot and the one known as Lulubell have been confirmed in the area. There are suspicious reports of at least two more, these ones new, but given Lulubell's ability, they could be a ruse. Therefore, I'm also sending two combat-specialists with you, Lavi. Kanda has fought on equal grounds with Noah before. And of course, Allen has the ability to throw open the Ark and get everyone out of there in an instant if things get to be too much. I don't expect you to use it to travel there; it should only be used for emergencies until further notice."

Lavi's face paled. "So, you're sending Yuu, Allen, Kro-chan and Lenalee with me? Are you sure about that, Komui?"

"Quite."

"I don't even see why I need anyone else; all I need is one good look at that thing and I can replicate it for you. Then you guys can try and decode it at your leisure. I especially don't see why you want to send Allen; didn't the Vatican want him watched?"

"The Vatican doesn't concern me right now," Komui said abruptly. "I'm giving you orders, Lavi. You are to retrieve or at least obtain the artifact. You will be accompanied by four companions. That is all there is to it."

Lavi brought a hand to his suddenly-pounding forehead. _It's bad enough Gramps got called away... I don't want Allen to see what might happen if I have to go into the Vatican!_ "This is a bad idea, Komui. A really bad idea."

"How about you explaining to me why it is, then?" The Supervisor sounded almost angry. Almost.

"Well, for one thing, you've got two Exorcists that you suspect of being the Heart. You're going to throw _both_ of them into the Earl's clutches?"

"Of course not. But Lenalee's invocation is back to normal, in case you've been ignorant of that fact, and she is nearly as literate in various Eastern languages as you are in Western ones. And Allen has the Ark's abilities, not to mention his having reached Critical point. If anyone can get all of you out of there safely no matter how dire the circumstances, I'm confident it's him. And Krory and Kanda have each destroyed a Noah before."

"Which is more than can be said for you, Lavi," Kanda added tartly. Lavi chose not to rise to that bait, though he was clearlyupset about the comment.

Komui pulled his glasses off and set them on the desk, giving Lavi a hard look; "What's going on? Bookman expressed some concern about you going to Rome by yourself, but this incident with the clan was too important to postpone. What is it about Rome that has both of you concerned?"

"It's not Rome, it's the Vatican," Lavi said with some effort.

"What about it? You're operating under _my_ direct orders, not the Vatican's."

"I don't mean the Holy See of the Vatican; I mean Vatican City."

Komui blinked momentarily; "All right. But what is the problem?"

Lavi looked supremely uncomfortable. "You do know that neither the Earl, nor any of his Noah or Akuma, have ever been reported within Vatican City, right? It's not coincidence. The Earl has no respect for the Pope, you know. There's a reason he stays away."

"There's a barrier of a sort, so I understand," Komui said.

"Yes, there is. The thing is, if it's powerful enough to repel the Earl, it's also powerful enough to cancel out the power of Innocence."

There was a stunned silence. Komui gestured for Lavi to elaborate.

"The barrier around Vatican City is a purifying one, and it blocks dark matter, but to do so effectively, it has to block Innocence too, since Innocence is the polar opposite of dark matter. It's to protect the Pope and the Holy See. It's intangible to a normal person, but to those of us who are sensitive to Innocence or similar powers, it's pretty staggering."

"It makes sense that Innocence won't be necessary in a place where the Earl can't go. Why would you need to invoke? There won't be any Akuma to fight, right?"

"My Innocence isn't just a weapon. It's the adhesive for who I am."

Komui's forehead wrinkled in annoyance. "Lavi, you're not making any sense now. Slow down and explain what you mean."

Lavi grumbled; "Dammit, I didn't really want to go into this." He rubbed his neck in a nervous gesture. "Look, I'm a bookman. I'm not an actor, despite what you might think. When we take on an identity, we do more than just take a name. We _become_ that person, temporarily. Behaviors and personality quirks are linked to the persona. The persona in turn is bound to something within the wearer's grasp, usually a physical object, often worn on the body. Up until this last time, I always had my personae bound to my eyepatch simply because I never take it off if I can help it." He stopped, looking at the floor. He refused to meet anyone's eyes.

The silence lengthened. After an almost unbearable, tense pause, Lavi cleared his throat and continued. "When Oudzuchi Kodzuchi was forged, Gramps assigned me a persona and a name, and bound them both to the hammer's Innocence. So if my Innocence is destroyed, or if it is canceled out so that it stops working, there's a chance that what you all know as 'Lavi' will disappear. And what'll be left behind will be an emotionless, unfeeling person you can just call Bookman Junior."

Allen found himself unable to talk. Part of him wanted to yell at Lavi for not telling him this sooner. Hadn't Lavi told him that there were some secrets they shouldn't keep from each other? And part of him was just downright upset, for no good definable reason.

Komui folded his hands on top of the desk and gave Lavi a long, firm look. "So how does this affect your mission?"

"The mission itself won't be affected; I'm hardwired to follow orders, no matter what persona I take on. So if you're concerned that I may rebel if 'Lavi' is destroyed, that's not the issue. However, Bookman Junior is not interested in being an Exorcist; if 'Lavi' is erased, even though I live, you lose an Exorcist. That's why Gramps sealed the persona to the Innocence; because, if the persona is lost, the Innocence is useless. If Gramps were with me, he could control what happens to 'Lavi' if the barrier interrupts it, since he's the one who gave me that persona and bound it. If worse came to worst, he could unbind it, so that it isn't forcibly severed, and then reset it later."

"Then it seems imperative to me to send Allen with you. If anyone knows you intrinsically, it's him, right?"

"Komui, you're not listening to me! It doesn't matter how well someone knows 'Lavi' -- if that persona is erased by the barrier, there's nothing anyone can do! There is no easy fix to it! Gramps is the only one who can prevent the complete dissolution of my persona, and there's not even any guarantee that he could do that much; Allen can't do _jack shit_ to prevent it. And if it happens without prevention, _there is no fixing it!_ That's like trying to resurrect the dead. 'Lavi' will be dead, for all practical purposes."

"One more question: If that happens, will that put you at risk to become a Togaochi?"

"Highly unlikely. I didn't acquire the persona until after Oudzuchi Kodzuchi was forged; this persona isn't necessary for it to work. And the barrier around the Vatican doesn't reduce a person's synchronization rate to zero. It just scrambles the synchro rate to make it unstable. In fact, it is believed that someone at or beyond Critical Point can still activate, if Socalo is to be believed. So a General will only be annoyed by it. But someone with lower synchronization, like myself, is bugger out of luck."

There was a heavy silence.

"I'll keep him in line, Komui," Kanda said finally. "Bookman can't be the only one who can control this idiot."

Lavi's face twisted into a look of pure fury; "Stop that, Yuu. You have no idea what you'll be up against."

"Don't I?" Kanda turned his attention to the redhead. "I spar with you whenever you pester me into it; you've never once beaten me. And I've never had to go to full strength. You can't possibly outfight me."

Lavi rolled his eyes. "All I can say is, underestimate Bookman Junior, or Deak in particular, and you're as good as dead. There's a reason I'm the pride of the clan."

"Deak?" Allen found his voice again. No one else in the room was talking. It was almost like they were afraid to speak.

Kanda jerked his chin at Allen; "If you lose yourself, I am willing to bet money that Beansprout will pull you back out of whatever miasma you get yourself in."

Lavi clenched his hands in his hair in frustration; "Goddamn, you're not listening either! None of you are! You're all blindly putting your faith in Allen!"

"Blindly?" Kanda raised an eyebrow. "I don't 'blindly' put faith anywhere. And it's not a matter of faith in Beansprout's abilities, so much as it is a knowledge of just how damned stubborn he is."

"I give up!" Lavi threw his hands in the air. "Whatever. I'm not the one who'll be most hurt by this if it happens! Just don't say I didn't warn you." He pointed a finger accusingly at Komui. Kanda, in an uncharacteristic flare of anger, grabbed the redhead by a hank of hair and yanked him aside. The Supervisor just shook his head and sighed, looking over at Allen.

"Allen, I'm going to give you one of these transmitters; I want you to keep in contact with us for as long as you can. We'll be tracking Cross and Socalo. You'll meet up with both of them eventually. They're both headed toward Rome to meet up with you, but you'll travel with whichever one you encounter first. If the Vatican gets involved, and we're lucky, Cross will be the one to deal with the Vatican. Otherwise, I'll have to probably intervene if the Pope tries to sink his claws into you lot. Not exactly sure how I'll do that, but I'll think of something."

Allen accepted the transmitter that resembled a gold linear earring, clamping it onto his earlobe.

"Use the Ark only if you must. We don't even know if it's openable inside the Vatican. But don't hesitate to get everyone out of there. Your lives are more important than the artifact, if it comes down to that."

Allen nodded in acceptance. "Should we leave immediately?"

"Yes. The sooner you get there and get out, the better. Reever is lining up a series of trains for you all to travel on. Everyone is dismissed."

As the Exorcists turned to take their leave, Allen caught Lavi's eye. The redhead looked both hurt and angry. That in turn made Allen rather angry and hurt. The two of them tarried a bit in the office, eyeing each other uncomfortably. Once the room was empty of everyone except themselves and Komui, Allen spoke, softly. "Lavi, why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask. It's not information I willingly volunteer. Hell, I wouldn't have said anything about it even now, had Komui not dragged it out of me."

Allen hesitantly approached him. "But... you're the one who said we shouldn't keep this kind of secret from each other."

"I repeat: _You. Didn't. Ask_. I have a lot of skeletons in my closet, Allen. I'm not going to just go airing them without provocation."

"Why would I ask something like that? I had no idea it was even possible!"

"Then stop yelling at me for not telling you about it! And if you want me to keep my promise, you'll drop the subject right now. We're not alone, you know."

Allen had no response to that, and turned away, suddenly unwilling to let Lavi see him hurting.

* * *

"Lavi?" Lenalee ventured, as the wind blew through the partially opened window of their box on the train. The five Exorcists were ensconced in a luxury first class box, such as it was, but with five of them there, it was a wee bit cramped. Especially with the tangible tension between Allen and Lavi. Lavi was sitting by the window, enjoying the breeze. Allen sat across from him, watching the landscape fade behind them; Krory and Kanda both sat by the door, each engrossed in reading something. Lenalee sat between Allen and Krory, looking at Lavi with concern.

"Mm?"

"Are you sure this is completely out of your hands like that? That you can't resist it? I mean, you overcame what Road Kamelot did to you."

Lavi made a noise that was almost like an attempt at a chuckle. "I'm guessing none of you has ever been to Vatican City, then. The shield around it waxes and wanes with the Earl's activity level, or so I'm given to understand, but it's been there perpetually. It's not pleasant to be around, I'll say that. Even before I had my Innocence, I didn't like being anywhere near Vatican City."

"Dumbass," Kanda said mildly. "I've been there a half-dozen times, and it's never done anything to me. Even Beansprout's been to Vatican City. Are you really that weak, Lavi?"

Lavi chose to ignore that. "Last time I was in Vatican City, the barrier stripped me of my persona. Let's see... I think that one was Acheron? My thirty-seventh, as I recall. Granted, I was about to abandon it anyway, but the purifying properties took care of it for me. It was the single most horrifying abandonment of a persona I've ever had, because it was ripped from me."

Allen abruptly stood up.

"Allen?" Lenalee was alarmed. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I just need to... get some air." He stepped out of the box and headed for the end of the rail car.

"Lavi," Krory said benignly, his eyes flicking over to the redhead, "perhaps you should follow him. He looks upset."

"He's pissed at me," Lavi sighed. "I'm probably not welcome around him right now."

"I don't know which of you is the bigger moron," Kanda said disgustedly. "And I don't know what's more aggravating -- sappy lovebirds, or moping lovers in the midst of a stupid quarrel."

"Kanda," Lenalee scolded gently. "Be nice."

"I don't have to be nice."

Finally, Lavi sighed and stood up. "Yeah, I suppose you're right, Kro-chan. But if you hear a loud noise, it's probably him slamming me against the side of the car in his anger. I might need some help at that time."

"As long as it is in anger, then yes; otherwise, I think we should leave you two alone," Krory said blandly, but with just enough innuendo in his voice that Lavi turned beet red. Lenalee blinked, and Kanda made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat.

"Remind me to punch you in the nose, Kro-chan," Lavi growled, before exiting the box and following Allen's path.

Allen was standing outside, at the rail in the back of the car. The wind from the train's movement was blowing his white hair all over the place, and his long coat whipped in the air as well.

"Allen?" He ventured tentatively. "Look, Allen, I didn't want to hurt you, but there are things about me that you... well, you just don't want to know. Trust me. I'd rather forget them." He positioned himself at the rail as well, close enough to touch Allen if the situation warranted it, but leaving enough space to allow Allen to make the first move.

There was a long silence punctuated only by the steady clicking of the train on its tracks. Then Allen spoke softly, almost too softly.

"I don't want you to change, Lavi." The younger Exorcist raised his face, and Lavi saw with a start that there were tearstains on his cheeks. "I want you just the way you are. I need the Lavi I fell in love with. I can't get that fear out of my head. It's not like me to dwell on something like this. But..." He turned to Lavi, stepping close and wrapping his arms around Lavi's waist, clinging to him. "I haven't needed anyone this much since Mana died. I was powerless to save him. I could do nothing but sit beside his grave and cry."

Lavi's arms encircled Allen's shoulders, and he pressed his mouth against the sleek white hair. "I didn't want to worry you, Allen, because I honestly thought Gramps would be with me."

"I'm not angry with you for not telling me... at least, not anymore I'm not," Allen murmured against his shoulder. "I'm just scared. More scared than I can recall ever being. The more I'm with you, the more I need you. You're like the lights of heaven and the waters in the earth to me. It's scaring the hell out of me, to need anyone this much. This can't be healthy."

"I think you're just frightened and vulnerable, that's why you think you need me so much," Lavi said gently. "This is why I didn't want us to go as far as we did. I don't care how mature you are for your age, you're still in chaos inside. Throwing sex on top of all that just makes it all worse."

"Sex has nothing to do with this, Lavi! I'm not just talking about you as a lover. I'm talking about you as a friend and a working partner! I'm not ready to lose you! I don't know that I'll ever be 'ready' for such a thing, but right now, you've become so important to me, as more than just a lover, that I'm scared to death of what life without you will be like."

"Well, we can always hope that the artifact isn't inside the Vatican. Last I heard, the Finder that found it wasn't planning on alerting the Papal staff. If that's the case, if it's not in the Vatican's possession, then all this worry is pointless. If it _is_ in the Vatican's possession, then maybe Cross can get them to hand it over for a little while. And hell, who knows? Maybe the barrier won't affect me this time. Perhaps all that crap about the barrier canceling out Innocence is over hyped. I'm just not going to push my luck. I wanted Komui to be prepared for the long-term consequences if I have to enter that barrier unprotected."

"But if you do lose the persona, if 'Lavi' disappears, that means that you won't love me anymore, right?" Allen nearly choked on the words. "You said that Bookman Junior is cold and unfeeling."

"I'm afraid that I can't answer that. I can only say that you won't want me if I become Bookman Junior. Bookman Junior is trained to ignore emotions, and is disdainful of normal humans. I'm sorry, Allen. I want to reassure you, but I can't bring myself to lie to you."

"I don't know why, but I'm reminded of when we first met, you know, after Road gouged out my eye? I asked you if you were afraid of always been an Akuma's target, and you said you were more afraid of humans. Was that true or not? I don't know what's true with you anymore."

"That much is true, though the context belies its meaning. Since becoming an Exorcist, I've learned not to fear or despise average people as much, because as an Exorcist, it's my job to protect them. As a bookman, I'm supposed to just sit back and let things happen as they will, not interfering. We bookmen tend to have a natural dislike for you 'warmongering' humans. I'm trained to view all people as mere figures in a play, or as Gramps calls it, 'ink on paper.' Bookmen don't get attached to anyone but other bookmen, except in extremely rare instances, because no one else but another bookman can understand our way of thinking."

Closing his eyes, Lavi squeezed Allen's shoulders.

"Just know this much, Allen: whatever else happens, you were the first non-bookman to break through to me. To some degree, that binds us. We have a saying in the clan: 'a Bookman has no need for a heart.' And in lieu of killing mine, I've given it to you. Perhaps that will be my saving grace, if you can keep it safe."

It was unspoken between them, but they both knew somehow that this was going to get ugly. Somehow, both of them knew that Vatican would have the artifact in its clutches, and if Komui was to be believed, Pope Leo XIII wasn't about to surrender the artifact without a fight. The longer it took them to get to Rome, the more likely it was that the artifact would fall into the Pope's hands. And that would mean Lavi would have to enter Vatican City. And that meant...

Lavi just held Allen close, while the white-haired Exorcist clung to him and sobbed softly into his shirt. The wind swirled around them both, but Allen clung to his lover, trying to keep his emotions from overtaking him again. Off on their right, the Alps soared into view, way off in the distance, as if mocking them by reminding them just how far from Rome they really were.

Finally, Allen sighed. "Even if you do disappear, Lavi, I'll find you and bring you back. That's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now: no matter what, if you get lost, I'll find you and bring you back."

 _I wish I could be so confident, Allen._ Lavi thought, closing his eyes against the harsh reality. _If "Lavi" is lost, there's nothing you can do. Since "Lavi" doesn't physically exist, if the ties are broken, there is just no restoring it._

"Whatever else happens, Allen, just remember that I love you. Take strength from that. If I have to go into that barrier, I'll cling to my love for you."

_And hope to God that it works..._


	5. The Lights of Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The artifact in the Pope's possession requires Lavi to enter into the barrier to view it and copy the information written on it. However, this proves to be the real problem. When addressing the Pope, Allen witnesses the transformation Lavi hoped he'd never see, as "Lavi" is dissolved, leaving the cold, calculating Bookman Junior behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never even been to Europe, nevermind to Rome and Vatican City, so everything I'm describing here is based on research. I'm romanizing Lavi's 48th persona name as "Deak" (its romajii is "Dikku") because, frankly, I can't wrap my brain around him being called "Dick" which is what a lot of people speculate what Hoshino meant. And of course, I'm taking a lot of artistic license here with his past, yet again. Hey, Hoshino hasn't told us hardly anything!

**Part Five: The Lights of Heaven**

"Wow, is that what I think it is?" Krory leaned over Lenalee, peering out the window. The young woman tried to shrink herself down to make room for the tall baron, though he was crowding her a bit in his excitement.

"Kro-chan, take it easy!" Lavi said with a laugh. "Honestly, the Colosseum is nothing special!"

"Maybe not to you," the baron retorted. "Need I remind you which of us was cloistered away in a big ugly castle for nearly thirty years?"

"Touché." The redhead grinned. "But really, you're going to end up flattening Lenalee."

"Oh! Sorry, Lenalee."

She laughed. "I'll switch with seats you, if you'd like, Krory. I've been to Rome a number of times on missions, so it's nothing new to me."

As the two switched places, Lavi leaned his head against the seat and closed his eyes a bit. The train rattled and swayed across the tracks as it swung in a great arc toward the Eternal City.

Kanda dozed next to the box's door, his feet propped up on the seat across from him. Allen was curled up, asleep, in the seat next to Lavi, using Lavi's thigh as a pillow.

"So where is Vatican City?" Krory inquired, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"It's not visible from this angle. Just as well, if you ask me."

Lenalee grinned; "You really don't like it, huh? It's more than the barrier, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah. I think the Pope is a joke, but that's just my opinion. If Rome didn't have the Vatican in it, I wouldn't hate it so much. It's an interesting, if slightly creepy, place."

"Creepy?" Krory turned his attention away from the distant ruins to look at the redhead. "What on earth is so creepy about this place? I find it fascinating."

"There's a reason they called it 'the Roman War Machine,' you know. The Romans knew only one way of doing things: conquest. Compound that with their subjective way of recording history, and their bloody insane leaders, and you get a reason why most bookmen don't much like Rome."

"There you go again, blaming the city for what its leaders did," Allen said sleepily.

"Can't help it. There's just so much _wrong_ with Rome's history."

Lenalee's face folded into a rather cute expression of confusion. "I'm pretty sure that London and Paris have some pretty messy histories. And then there's Sparta."

"Bah! Whatever!" Lavi waved a hand. "You guys keep asking me why I don't like Rome, and then you shoot holes in my reasoning! Some friends you are!"

The train jolted and jerked as it shifted gears downward, slowing down as it approached the station. Lavi gave Allen's shoulder a gentle shake; "We're almost there, Allen."

"Mmm," the younger exorcist groaned and sat up, stretching his arms. "Good. The sooner we get there and get this artifact, the sooner we can go home and forget about this whole stupid mission."

"Yeah. I just hope this artifact is worth the trouble."

"Trouble? Stupid mission?" Krory eyed them both. "The fact that you both are blowing this out of proportion does not make this a fruitless or troublesome mission."

"Blowing it out of proportion?!" Lavi blinked at the baron in utter disbelief. "You guys think I'm making this crap up? Gimme a break, I'm not that crazy!"

"I personally wouldn't put it past you, you slacker," Kanda grumbled. "I've been in the Vatican a number of times, and I never noticed any barrier. I've even been in the Apostolic Palace, in the presence of the Pope himself, back when I was still apprenticed to Tiedoll."

"Yeah, Master took me to meet the Pope once," Allen said, pondering. "I didn't notice anything."

"Fine," Lavi snapped. "Don't believe me. Maybe it's not Innocence that it cancels out at all, but rather spells. Either way, I'm probably screwed."

Kanda snorted and shook his head sharply, bracing himself as the train shuddered again as it geared down another notch. "This had better be worth the trouble of putting up with you two."

They had been stalled in Paris for nearly a week when the track that led into Rome got damaged by a massive train wreck caused by a sudden landslide after an earthquake. Traveling by rail was the safest way into Rome these days, apparently, with the reports of Akuma and Noah patrolling the borders of the Eternal City. They were there to retrieve the artifact, not fight Akuma. They would have hired a coach and gone there that way, but Komui had expressed a desire for them to avoid fighting as much as possible.

The rest of the ride was passed in silence as the train clunked into the Termini station and came to a halt, expelling steam as though it were exhausted. The Exorcists filed out of the train's doors, onto the platform.

"The Capital of the World, huh?" Krory looked around.

"Hmm, Socalo should be around here," Lavi muttered, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the afternoon sun.

"Hey, is that you, Deak?" A voice called. "Deak!"

Allen reacted first, turning to the voice to see a perky, buxom blonde woman hurrying toward them. Lavi was slower to notice, mostly reacting because Allen did. But when he saw who hurried toward them, he froze.

"Deak! It is you! I knew I recognized that messy red hair! Long time, no see!"

"Deak?" Lavi blinked at her. "Oh, yeah. Uh, that's not my name anymore."

"It's not? Huh, pity. I always liked it. Look at you! All decked out like a Black Order Exorcist! Did you manage to infiltrate them?"

Lavi just stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't recognize me, do you." It wasn't a question, though it was worded like one.

"Your face is familiar, but I can't remember which name you go by."

The woman laughed. "I'm Kyrie, you idiot. Kyrie Eleison. You once knew me as Gloria, but you've seen me since I changed to Kyrie."

"Is she part of the Bookman clan, Lavi?" Allen blinked.

"Whoa," Kyrie said, looking at Allen. "Who on earth are you? I took you for an old man, but damn, you're young!"

Lavi cleared his throat; "Allen, Kyrie is a supporter of the Bookman clan. I guess you could say she's like a Finder, in a way. Kyrie, this is Allen Walker; Arystar Krory; Lenalee Lee; Kanda Yuu; and I'm called Lavi now."

"Where's Bookman? It's rare to see you without him nearby."

"We're kind of in a hurry, Kyrie. It's good to see you and all, but we're seriously behind schedule."

She was clearly not listening to him. "What brings you to Rome, then, Junior? And why are you dressed like an Exorcist?"

"He _is_ an Exorcist," Allen said flatly, using his proximity to force Kyrie to step back. "And he said his name is Lavi. It's only fair for you to acknowledge that."

Kyrie looked at him with incredulous eyes; "Again, who are you?"

"I'm Allen Walker."

"You know Junior here, eh? You do know that 'Junior' is a valid name for him, no matter what persona, don't you?"

"Yes, I do know that," Allen retorted. "But as Lavi said, we're in a hurry. We need to retrieve something and head back to the headquarters."

Kyrie's face lit up; "Oh, that's why that Exorcist was hanging around the Colosseum! Must be Innocence around here!"

 _Good grief, she's not overly bright, is she?_ Allen thought.

Fed up with the delay, Kanda barged through, shoving Lavi and Kyrie both aside. "We've wasted enough time, Lavi. We need to find one of the Generals."

Allen fought down a grin of relief; trust Kanda to cut the crap! He nudged Lavi's shoulder and started to follow Kanda. Lenalee and Krory also started after the Japanese swordsman.

"Uh, Yuu? The main entrance is that way," Lavi said hesitantly, pointing in the other direction. "We probably should exit out that way, that's probably where Socalo is going to look for us."

Allen throttled down a surge of jealousy when he realized that Kyrie had her arms around one of Lavi's arms, as if she believed herself to be his girlfriend or something. The only thing at the moment that was keeping Allen's anger -- which was on the verge of breaking through because of his emotional exhaustion due to the constant worry and dread of what might happen if they had to enter the Vatican -- in check was the look of thorough displeasure on Lavi's face. He was trying to extract himself from her grip.

As they exited the station into the bright daylight of high summer in the Mediterranean, Allen positioned himself right next to Lavi, eyeing Kyrie warily.

"Now that is an interesting building!" Krory said, his eyes fixed on a large, ancient-looking building soaring into the air a couple hundred meters away.

"Never been to Rome?" Kyrie asked the baron.

"No, I have not."

"Ah. Well, that building is the front of the Baths of Dionysus. The largest public baths in the history of the Eternal City. Of course, they've long since stopped working as baths, but they're pretty famous."

Lavi sputtered; "Diocletian!"

"Huh?"

"Those are the _Baths of Diocletian_! Don't go filling Krory's head with misinformation, you idiot! And you call yourself a supporter of the Bookmen?" Lavi wrenched his arm free finally.

Kyrie blinked; "Didn't I just say that?"

"You said Baths of Dionysus."

"I did?"

"Yes!"

Allen blinked in confusion. Lavi seemed to be blowing this way out of proportion. Was he really that on-edge? Allen himself hadn't even noticed the mistake until Lavi ranted about it.

"Well, I said the wrong thing. It happens. The names do sound similar, you know."

"Diocletian and Dionysus are two completely separate ideas," Lavi growled. "Diocletian was an Emperor of Rome. Dionysus was the drunken god of the Greeks."

"I know that, Junior. So I said the wrong thing! What's the big deal? Good grief, is this your new persona? How do you get along with anyone?"

Lavi grimaced and turned away, toward Allen, as if pleading for Allen to do something to take things out of his hands. Allen didn't even have time to say anything, though. Before he had even inhaled to speak, his left eye suddenly reacted, forming the red-lens monocle.

"Akuma!"

The Exorcists all reacted in concert as a series of Level Ones and a couple of Level Twos came swarming in. It didn't take long, and there were no casualties, but it did kind of make a mess.

"Anything else, Allen?" Krory inquired as the last of the Akuma was destroyed.

"I don't see any. But they did kind of come out of nowhere. I think we'd better be on the lookout for Road Kamelot. She has a tendency to sneak up on me."

"And here I thought you kids had chickened out," a droll voice said from nearby. "Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since anyone who survives Marian's company has to be tougher than your average idiot." Winters Socalo stepped out from the shadows of the Termini's facade. His large black helmet was tucked under his arm. "You kids sure took your time, though."

"We got delayed," Allen said as he deactivated his Innocence. "There were troubles on the train tracks, so we were stuck in Paris for a while. Didn't Komui tell you all this?"

"Heh!" Socalo grinned. "I dun keep in touch with the Supervisor. Not that he ain't a nice guy and all, but I don't report to him. Marian's the one what told me to be here. C'mon, we need to get moving. Marian's tracking down the whereabouts of the Finder with the artifact. The kid disappeared somewhere along the line, which we think means he's been apprehended by the Vatican."

Lavi scowled; "Dammit."

"Yeah, no kidding. I hate dealing with the Holy See. Buncha unreasonable fuckers, them."

"Ooh, are you guys here for that weird stone thingy that was found the other day?" Kyrie's expression brightened. Lavi looked at her with an incredulous, disgusted expression.

"Weren't you scared off by the Akuma?"

"No, not really. I can get you guys into the Vatican through Saint Peter's Square, if you'd like. I work in the Basilica."

"I'd rather avoid the Vatican if we can," Lavi retorted. His patience was obviously very nearly at its end.

"Hm? But you're here for the Innocence stone, right? I mean, why else would there be so many Exorcists in Rome at one time?"

"Do you know where it is?" Krory inquired.

"Of course. It's in the Pope's possession now. It's on display in Saint Peter's Basilica, but the Pope keeps it with him otherwise."

"She's right," another voice confirmed. Allen repressed a shudder as his master, Cross Marian, sauntered across the street to them. "The artifact we're after is indeed in the Pope's clutches. And he's not about to let it go. He thinks it's a holy relic. We'll be lucky if he lets us near it. I hope your photographic memory is as good as it's touted to be," he added, looking directly at Lavi.

"Remembering details is my specialty," Lavi replied, casting his arm about Allen's shoulders in a companionable-looking gesture. Allen allowed himself to relax slightly at his lover's proximity. However, as close as they were to Vatican, it made him all the more nervous to think of what might happen once they entered.

"Master, have you been inside the Vatican recently?"

General Cross took a long pull at his cigarette before favoring his student with a withering glare. "Where the hell do you think I've been this past week while you lot were taking your sweet time getting here, stupid apprentice? I haven't been in the Circus Maximus, that's for damned sure!"

"The barrier that keeps the Earl out... is it strong enough to interfere with Innocence?"

"I don't think so. I didn't notice anything. There's definitely something there, but it doesn't seem to affect anyone but Akuma."

"So then Lavi's all freaked out for no reason?" Lenalee prodded.

The General looked at her, then at Lavi. "Well, given that I don't know what he's all freaked out about, I'll hazard a guess and say that yes, he is."

Lavi sputtered a bit, but Kanda silenced him with a withering glare. "So, was this all made up, Lavi?"

There was a long silence in which Lavi seemed to waver between outrage and resignation. In the end, resignation won.

"No, it's not," Lavi said finally. He seemed dejected. All the energy seemed to just wick right out of him. Allen hip-bumped him to get his attention. "I still believe that it'll mess with me, but maybe it won't be as bad as the last time. Maybe because last time I was planning to let the persona go anyway, the barrier took care of it for me. It wasn't pleasant, but maybe this time around it'll leave me alone. I can only hope."

"Come on, you runts, let's get this farce over with." Socalo stamped a foot to get attention.

Cross then raised an arm and waved it over his head. After a moment, a carriage appeared up the street, its horses prancing spiritedly. "I have secured us some transportation, though I think you're going to have to ride on the roof, stupid apprentice."

"Why me?"

"Because you're just that much of an idiot, idiot." Cross grinned maliciously. "And because I say so. Don't worry, Socalo will keep you company."

"Naah, I'll just run alongside. I can use the exercise," the armored General said as he plunked his helmet down on his head. "Need a boost, kiddo?" He looked at Allen.

"Uh, no. I can get up there on my own. This is insane!"

"Just like Marian!" Socalo's voice dripped with the grin that his helmet now hid.

"Pot, Kettle, Black," Cross retorted. "Who is the one with Innocence named 'Madness'?"

"I never say I weren't nuts, said I?" Socalo replied, making Lavi and Allen both wince at his bad grammar. "And you gots yourself a hell of an ego, naming your Innocence 'Judgment,' you know, Marian!"

As the coach slowed to a halt beside the Exorcists, Cross gave Lenalee a hand up into the carriage, then climbed in on his own. Kanda and Krory also climbed in. Cross beckoned to Kyrie; "Come along, young lady. You said you could help us get in?"

"Uh? Oh, yeah. At least, I think I can. Can't hurt. I assist His Holiness with daily Mass, so it's not like I'm completely unknown around there." She squeezed in.

"Lavi?" Allen looked at his lover. "Aren't you getting in?"

"Naah. I'll ride on the roof with you. Here, want a lift?" He unholstered his hammer and slammed the head to the ground. He then wrapped his other arm around Allen's waist and activated the hammer's Innocence. " _Extend_!" The handle extended, lifting both of them upward, until they were level with the roof. Then they dropped onto the roof and Lavi deactivated the hammer. They both stretched out on their stomachs, grasping onto the bars at the front of the carriage so as not to get thrown from the roof on a turn. This also gave them a chance to snuggle up together a little bit without attracting any attention for the action itself. Allen wondered briefly if Cross had done this deliberately, figuring Lavi would choose to accompany Allen... and then he decided he was giving his Master too much credit. Still, it was nice to be able to lean against Lavi, shoulder-to-shoulder, almost cheek-to-cheek, and not have people staring at them or frowning at them.

"Are you sure you're okay with this, Lavi?" He inquired hesitantly as the carriage started off, heading for the Via Nazionale. "Going right into the Vatican, I mean."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've got you with me, maybe that'll be enough. Gramps isn't always honest with me on these kinds of things, out of necessity. I still know too much, but there are things he's been vague or outright dishonest about, because I'm not supposed to know until he officially hands over the title to me. Either way, it's too late anyway. Whatever will be, will be. So, it's time I just face up to it and hope for the best."

They contented themselves with just hanging on as the carriage picked up speed. Allen closed his eyes and focused on enjoying Lavi's propinquity. He couldn't shake this ugly foreboding feeling he had in his heart. He knew this feeling, and hated it, because it always preceded something horrible. So he attempted to distract himself.

Underneath them, they could hear Kyrie giving Krory a brief verbal tour of Rome, describing things as they passed them. Allen chuckled at her mistakes, rampant as they were. She really was quite dumb, to be honest. Pretty, very pretty -- she looked like the kind of woman Lavi would've gotten all swoony over and yelled "Strike!" upon seeing, had this been their first encounter -- but she seemed quite brainless.

"Trajan. Markets of _Trajan_!" Lavi yelled at one point. "Not Trojan, idiot! God, and you call yourself a historian?"

"Sorry! Wrong word again!"

"Geez," Lavi grumbled. "She hasn't gotten any smarter, I see. One would think living in Rome or the Vatican for a couple of years would cure her of these stupid mistakes in referencing the local landmarks. The Pope must really like her, for her to still be there. Can't think of any other reason the Clan would keep her in such a high-ranking place when she's such a moron."

The carriage swung south from the Markets of Trajan down past the great Roman Forum, circling around the Colosseum, curving down a main street around Palatine Hill and then swinging back up north past the sprawling Circus Maximus. Socalo kept up easily, seeming to enjoy the run despite the weight of his armor. He also kept up a lively banter with Cross, trading insults back and forth. Shortly after they passed the Church of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, at the top of the Circus Maximus, Lavi started nibbling at Allen's ear, as if trying to distract him (or perhaps distract himself?) from the daunting task ahead. If it was a distraction technique, it worked, because Allen couldn't concentrate on his surroundings. He tipped his head toward Lavi, awkwardly resting his head on Lavi's shoulder and inhaling his lover's scent. He heard Kyrie's voice droning on, but didn't pay it any attention.

"Aventine Hill, dipshit!" Lavi yelled down. "Aventurine is a stone!"

"Lighten up, Junior!"

"Grr," Lavi grumbled. "I wish she'd stop calling me that. I don't feel right being addressed by that name anymore. I'm not really Bookman Junior anymore. I mean, I _am_ until I'm replaced, but I don't think I want to be addressed like that again."

"Pay her no attention, Lavi," Allen said softly, pressing himself against Lavi a little more. "Pay attention to me. Keep me in your thoughts, in your mind. I have a bad feeling, the closer we get to Vatican City."

"Don't say that, Allen. Whoa, hang on, looks like we're going to be picking up speed here." Lavi braced himself against the rails and gripped Allen tightly. There was a thump on the carriage as Socalo hopped on to hang onto the back end, hitching a ride because the carriage was now going too fast for him to keep up with.

As they trundled north, Lavi overheard Kyrie speaking and pounded on the roof; "Dammit! It's not Pantheon, it's _Parthenon!_ "

"What the hell, Junior?! It _is_ the Pantheon! It's got the Oculus! The Parthenon is in Greece and honors Athena, you idiot! Pantheon means 'All Gods'!" Kyrie stuck her head out the window and hollered up at them. "I got it right this time, you jerk! You're just trying to make me look bad. Just 'cuz you're Bookman Junior doesn't mean you can bully me!"

Lavi had realized his mistake the moment he'd said it, and Allen laughed at the redhead's blush of embarrassment. "Leave her alone, Lavi. We'll set Krory straight if you want when we get home. By now he's got to know that she's fouling stuff up, and he's pretty smart; he'll figure out that what we're telling him is true if it conflicts with what she says."

"I know." Lavi shook his head as if to clear his mind. "I just can't believe she's that freakin' dumb still. The historian in me just wants to slap her silly!"

The carriage slowed down as it neared a bridge that spanned the River Tiber. Again Lavi employed the distraction technique of nibbling on Allen's ear, and again it worked.

"If you're not careful, Lavi, I'm going to end up having a reaction here," he groaned, doing his best to calm his heated blood.

"Heh," the redhead chuckled as he nuzzled against Allen. "Sometimes, Allen, you're just cute."

"Cute?"

"Yeah, cute."

"Nice. Not the image I really wanted to project, but for you, I suppose I'll make allowances."

Lavi was about to say something, when his expression suddenly changed. "Crap. We're almost there. I can feel that barrier. It's definitely there." He pointed ahead. "See that giant dome? That's Saint Peter's Basilica. Pretty much the heart of the Vatican."

"That's the center?"

"Not the center, the heart. Naah, there's way more to the Vatican than just the Basilica. But that's our destination."

As the carriage continued down the corridor, between buildings, Allen looked around himself at these ancient-looking buildings and all their intricate carvings. This was really amazing, to be honest. It was easy to get lost in the awe-inspiring architecture of it all.

Then, just like that, the carriage stopped before giant circular plaza. A large, ornate and extraordinarily beautiful cathedral rose out of the opposite end of the plaza.

"Here we are! Saint Peter's Square," Kyrie hopped out of the carriage. "Interesting misnomer, no? Since it's not square at all."

Lavi groaned at the bad joke as he and Allen climbed down using his hammer.

Kyrie rummaged through her pockets and produced what looked like a form of ID. "This'll get us into the Basilica without bothering with the tourist procedures, since it's not open to tourists right now." She looked over at the Exorcists as they assembled. The carriage turned in a big arc and ambled off.

"So, why are we wearing these?" Lavi tapped the silver brooch of a star-edged cross that all the Exorcists word adorning their uniforms (Socalo and Cross had gold ones instead of silver, as befitting their elevated status). "Isn't it supposed to get us in?"

"It won't get you past the Swiss Guards without trouble, trust me," Kyrie said. Her entire demeanor seemed to have changed. "Especially not since that Noah was prowling around here."

"Noah?!" Lavi's jaw dropped just as Cross's head swiveled to face the young woman.

"There was a Noah here?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you sure about that?"

"She said her name was... something about Camelot. She killed a couple of the priests. Since then, the guards have been tripled."

"Well, that make sense," Allen said bitterly. "Road Kamelot is the one Noah that no one can seem to even damage, it seems, nevermind kill. I suppose it's not out of line for her to be able to enter even the holiest place on earth."

"I'll remind you that I put a pretty good burn on her," Lavi retorted. "Of course, she put me through hell and back before I could do it, but still. It's more than you did to her!"

"Okay, you have a point, but still. Well, I guess we should get in there and get the artifact, if we can, and get the heck out of here. If Road Kamelot is around, I think it's best if we don't waste any time."

"Good thought," Lenalee said.

"The idiot has a brain! Astounding!" Cross heckled.

Allen glared at Cross as they started across the plaza, then matched strides with Lavi, noticing that his lover's face was becoming increasingly tense as they walked. As they passed the giant obelisk in the center of the plaza, Allen noticed that Krory was beginning to flag a bit.

"Krory? Are you okay?"

"I am just suddenly very tired. It is almost hard to breathe," the baron replied, looking strained.

Allen frowned; "Let us know if it gets worse."

They continued across the plaza, but before they could enter the giant cathedral, Krory staggered and came to a halt. "I am sorry, everyone, but I cannot go any further. It is just too hard to breathe."

"Socalo, you stay with him," Cross said.

"Hey, wait a minute, he ain't mine! He's yours, if he's anyone's!"

"Oh? Did you want to deal with His Holiness instead?"

"Uh... oh fine. You owe me for this, Marian. And _you'll_ be the one to pay, not your damned student." Socalo hoisted Krory up like a sack of grain, carefully positioning him so as not to impale him on the spikes of his armor, and he turned around and headed out of the Vatican.

Allen looked over at Lavi; "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Let's keep moving."

The Swiss Guard stopped them, and it took some convincing on Kyrie's part to get the five Exorcists in the door. Still, she managed. How exactly, Allen wasn't sure. He was too busy watching Lavi. The redhead was unusually quiet and sour-faced.

At one point, as they passed through an ornate hallway, Cross tapped Kanda on the shoulder; "Is it just me, or is Lavi acting strange?"

"He is. I think there's something wrong with him."

Allen's heart flipped. No! Lavi couldn't be... the transformation hadn't happened, right? He bumped his hand against Lavi. "Are you sure you're okay, Lavi?"

"I'm fine, dammit. Stop bugging me!"

"You're acting weird!"

"I'm stressed, okay?"

"Kyrie, what have you brought me?" A voice said harshly from nearby, as a regally-garbed man emerged from the shadows. He didn't have any of his regalia on, but it was pretty obvious still what his office was.

"Your Holiness, these people are Exorcists, from the Black Order. They say you possess an artifact that they seek." Kyrie bowed deeply before the man, Pope Leo XIII. The Pope squinted at the Exorcists.

"Ah, yes, that's right, I heard you were coming. Well, I will not allow anyone to remove it from these premises, but if you would like to view it, I am willing to make an exception and allow you to touch it. It is a holy relic, but you are Apostles of God, yes?" The Pope said imperiously. "However, first I believe that common courtesy demands that you introduce yourselves."

"Cross Marian, General of the Black Order," Cross said without delay. "Two of our party, Arystar Krory III and Winters Socalo, had to leave the premises, but they are part of our party."

"Allen Walker," Allen said.

Lavi remained silent, his eyes closed. Unperturbed, Kanda spoke. "Kanda Yuu."

"Lenalee Lee." Lenalee bowed courteously.

Allen nudged Lavi. When he got no response, he looked at the Pope in some mild alarm. The man was staring at Lavi pointedly.

"You, with the eyepatch. I don't believe I caught your name."

"That would be because I didn't release it," Lavi said coldly. Allen's blood chilled at the ice in that voice.

"Are you going to be stubborn then?"

"Just show me the damned artifact. Ninety seconds with it is all I need."

"I asked you for your name; I expected greater courtesy than this out of a representative of the Black Order and the bookmen."

Lavi's eye flashed malevolently as he unlidded it. "I don't give a damn what you expect. You have something that should belong to the Black Order, and you refuse to give it up; at least give _us_ the courtesy of viewing it."

The Pope's gaze became icy and hard. Kyrie stamped on Lavi's foot in desperation; "Is that any way to address His Holiness, Junior?"

"Your name, son, or you don't get to view it." The Pope said, ignoring Kyrie.

"My name?" Lavi snorted a bitter laugh. "I don't have one. I'm a member of the bookmen. I don't carry a name. I carry masks, but not a name."

"Lavi, that's not funny!" Allen said frantically. "Stop it, that's not even close to a joke!"

"Who said I was joking?" A sharp green eye, full of malice and hatred, turned to Allen; Allen physically stepped back in alarm.

 _No way... there's just no way!_ His blood went cold and his heart hammered in his chest. Even his sweat turned cold. _There's just no way... I've been watching him, and I didn't see or sense any transformation!_

The Pope gestured at Lavi to continue. When the redhead didn't, the holy man inquired. "So then tell me the name of the mask you carry now."

"I don't have a name. If you want to call me anything, you can just call me Bookman Junior. Because that's what I am: the successor of Bookman."

Allen's heart stopped for a split second. _NO WAY. This is NOT happening!_

"Lavi! That's not funny!"

"Not meant to be. 'Lavi' is merely the name of the mask I wore. I am fundamentally Bookman Junior, and will never be anything other than a bookman, whatever you'd like to believe, kid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have no idea how much fun I had researching Rome for this chapter. I had more fun doing the research and making plot adjustments, than I did in writing, and that's saying something!
> 
> For what it's worth, Socalo's bad grammar is done deliberately. I don't know if he's supposed to have poor, casual grammar or not, but I chose to interpret him this way, given what he actually is (an ex-convict). Artistic license, etc. The grammar snark inside me was throwing a temper tantrum whenever I had to screw with his grammar, but it is done intentionally.
> 
> Also, "kyrie eleison" is Greek that essentially means "Lord have mercy" and is part of a prayer in Christian liturgy. I chose that name for the character deliberately. (Yeah, and because I love the song "Kyrie" by Mr. Mister.) I figure it's no weirder than having someone named Klaud Nine.


	6. A Soaring Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unwilling to believe that his lover has changed beyond redemption, Allen tries desperately to draw out "Lavi" from within Bookman Junior, convinced that he hasn't been completely erased. When everything he tries ends in miserable defeat, and Bookman Junior wreaks more and more havoc, Allen turns to his last resort: the Ark that he hates so much.

**Part Six: A Soaring Prayer**

"'Lavi' is merely the name of the mask I wore. I am fundamentally Bookman Junior, and will never be anything other than a bookman, whatever you'd like to believe, kid."

Allen's entire world ground to a complete halt, and he nearly fainted from the shock. This couldn't be happening. This just couldn't be happening!

The Pope just blinked in astonishment. "So, the name you're giving is Lavi? Or something else?"

Lavi (or was it Bookman Junior?) scowled, and then did something that the Lavi that Allen knew and adored would never even dream of doing: he charged forward, seizing the Pope by the throat and slamming the holy man against the wall; "I've had it with your bullshit. Just show me the fucking artifact and I'll be out of your hair. This is not a request; it's a demand. Don't think I can't break your goddamned neck with my bare hands. I've done it before."

Panicking, because none of his guards were near enough to help, the Pope capitulated. "I-it's right th-this way." He gestured frantically.

"Allen," Cross said in a low voice as they filed through an archway into another room. "Can you open the Ark in here? I think we're going to have to use that to control him."

"Huh?" Allen looked up at his master, dizzy with the emotions swirling violently inside him.

"The Ark, stupid. Can you open it? Do I need to speak slowly and loudly for you to understand?"

"I need Timcanpy to do that."

"And what is that sitting on your head, you goddamned fool?"

"Oh... Uh, I don't know. I can try."

"Wait until he has the artifact in hand, and then try to open it. If I have to, I'll use Judgment to force him onto the Ark. I don't really want to, because this place scrambles my synchronization with it pretty strangely, but I'll do what I have to in order to protect the peace. And if it comes to it, I won't hesitate to kill that young man, Allen. I won't make you do it; whatever you might think of me, I'm not so cruel as to make you kill your own lover, but I won't hesitate to do it myself, if he proves to be too much of a threat. Now stop staring at me stupidly and get _moving_ , or I'll unleash Maria on you!"

The artifact proved to be an engraved stone. Not a tablet, like the Rosetta stone, but a stone nonetheless. Curiously, it wasn't very big or heavy. Only about a meter in diameter, and only about ten centimeters thick, it looked like a wheel. The inscriptions on it were around it starting from the perimeter and spiraling inward. Lavi... Bookman Junior?... whoever... picked it up and inspected it. His forehead creased in concentration. As he was looking at it, Allen started the incantation that he used to open the Ark. He could feel things moving inside his head, but there was something definitely wrong here, something that was causing the portal to not line up right. Cross had lied to them when he'd said that the barrier hadn't affected anyone but Akuma. The question was, why had he lied?

"It's in really old Latin, with some Greek randomly thrown in to break it up, and there's nothing on here about Innocence. What it talks about isn't God's Crystal, it's the purity of the Virgin Mary. Just as I thought. The answers won't come to you Exorcists so easily," the redhead snorted. "This is worthless to the Black Order."

"And was it worth making a complete ass of yourself for?" Kanda growled.

"I don't recall caring," the redhead retorted. "You can't excommunicate what you can't name."

"No, but you can arrest a nameless person," Cross said dangerously, drawing Judgment. "And who are you to tell the Black Order what is worthless to it?" He aimed the golden gun at the younger redhead. "Allen, _open it!_ "

The next thing Allen knew, he was slammed against the wall by Lavi in an eerily nostalgic way. Lavi's forearm bore into Allen's throat, cutting off his breath momentarily. "Don't move, you white-haired runt. I mean it."

"Lavi, why are you doing this?" Allen choked.

"I am not 'Lavi' anymore. Didn't I warn you all? This barrier, it strips personae and it blocks both Innocence and dark matter. In your desperation to believe that everything would be fine, you bought into the General's lie without question, despite my repeated comments that the barrier is very much there, very much active, very much alive. Congratulations, Allen Walker: you've managed to destroy my forty-ninth mask in your ignorance. Actually, I must thank you for that. Now the things that clouded my mind and made the old panda doubt me have been cleared away."

There was the click of a gun being cocked. Allen's eyes swung to the left to see another shock of red hair just past Lavi's. Cross had his weapon aimed at Lavi's neck, at point-blank range.

"Go ahead, General. Fire that weapon. You're bluffing and we both know it."

"You honestly think I care about that idiot's feelings for you enough to bluff?"

"Naah, I just know that this barrier has fucked your synchronization ratio enough that you won't dare to actually fire that thing, for fear that you won't be able to control it. You're vainer than anyone else in the entire Order, and you won't stand for having your appearance besmirched by the thought that you don't have complete control over your weapon."

The next sound in the room was the scraping _shing!_ of a sword being drawn, and then Mugen appeared between Lavi and Allen. "Step down, eyepatch, or I'll give you a shave you'll have nightmares about." Kanda's voice had a razor-sharp edge to it.

"Lavi, stop this!" Lenalee cried desperately. "Snap out of this! Whatever it is, snap out of it!"

"I _have_ snapped out of it," the redhead -- Allen couldn't bear to think of this as Lavi anymore; he was far too hateful to be the one Allen had grown to love and admire so much -- said maliciously. "I see things more clearly now than I have in years. You people think we bookmen are peaceful, unassuming humans who sit back and quietly record things. You forget that the way to change the world is through war. A bookman is useless without history to record. If you think we're weaklings who can't fight and can't alter the course of the world, think again!"

Kanda moved Mugen, placing the edge of the blade against the bookman's throat. "Back down, before I remove your head from your shoulders."

Bookman Junior moved too quick for Allen's eyes to comprehend, and the next thing he knew, Kanda was thrown against the adjacent wall, with Mugen knocked aside.

Cross pulled back on Judgment's hammer a bit more, to cock the gun, and Bookman Junior reacted to the noise with lightning speed. Before anyone could react to his movements, he had knocked the gun out of Cross's hand, and had slammed a fist into the General's jaw. To Cross's credit, he wasn't thrown aside, since he had considerably more body-weight and bulk than Bookman Junior, being much older and more physically mature, but at the same time, he was taken off guard and his balance was interrupted.

Allen had never even suspected that Lavi had this kind of fighting ability in him. It was surreal, frankly. It was also maddening to see the young man that he loved so deeply and dearly turned into such a heartless beast of pure rage. Maddening... and heart-rending.

"LAVI!" His voice ripped from his throat. "Please! Stop this! We're not trying to hurt you, we just want you to come back to your senses!"

_I've got to get him out of this barrier! But how? He attacked the Pope -- there's no way they'll let him out of the Basilica!_

_I'm going to have to beat some sense into him. Come on, Innocence, please! We two are one, aren't we? And he's a chosen Apostle of God, no matter what his heart is doing right now! Please, help me, Innocence! I'm begging you!_

His arm managed to transform into the black claws, and the tumescent cloak draped itself across his shoulders. The silver and gold mask gleamed on his forehead as the Innocence solidified around him. But when he tried to pull the great sword from his arm, the conversion didn't happen.

His heart sank with the realization that his Innocence couldn't fully activate. This was as far as it could get.

There was only one thing he could do now: he had to get Lavi out of this place, to some place where his Innocence could fully function. Then he'd use that Innocence to beat this "Bookman Junior" into submission! And right now, the only way he was going to get Lavi out of here... was to use the one thing he hated more than anything. But, he'd gladly make that sacrifice and more, if it worked. His love for Lavi was deeper than his hatred of the Ark.

"Timcanpy!" He cried in anguish to the golem clinging to his hair. "Tim, please! Help me open the Ark! I need your help, please!"

The golem reacted by showing him the Score, and then wrapping its tail around Bookman Junior's nose, battering at his face with its wings. Allen focused everything on the incantation of the Score, throwing every ounce of energy he had into forcing a door open.

" _And then the boy drifted off to sleep, breathing deeply... the flames within the ash, one by one welling up... that beloved face... a thousand dreams upon this earth, silver as your eyes, trembling on the night, a shining self is born... Hundreds and millions of months and years... no matter how many prayers are returned to the earth, I will continue to pray... please give this child love, joined hands and a kiss..._ "

He felt the Ark finally connect with the fabric of the dimension and the door unlocked behind him. With as much energy as he could muster, he summoned his Innocence and formed it. "CLOWN BELT!"

From either side of him, the white webbing of his Innocence surged forward and wrapped itself firmly around the redhead in front of him. Grabbing onto it with his left hand, anchoring it to himself, Allen reached out with his right arm and grasped the doorway that opened up behind him.

"I told you, Lavi, that if you got lost in the madness, that I'd find you and bring you back. And I will, I swear I will!"

"The 'Lavi' that you seek is as good as dead, kiddo," the bookman sneered, though he didn't struggle. Allen ground his teeth and pulled as hard as he could on the webbing. The redhead crashed into him and they tumbled into the gateway, landing on a cobblestone street with whitewashed buildings on either side of them. Allen felt the world start to go black as his head hit the stone ground, and he heard the door slam shut behind them. The Ark then disconnected from those coordinates and went into free-floating. Casting around, it anchored itself automatically to nearby coordinates so as to not get lost between dimensions. Allen sighed with relief at the weight that was taken from his heart and shoulders as he felt his Innocence awaken fully, now that it was no longer suppressed. And if his Innocence was back to normal, then maybe Lavi was back to normal as well?

"Lavi?" He rolled onto his back and looked over at where the bookman lay, still bound tightly by Allen's Innocence. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." The voice that emerged made Allen's heart feel light with joy. It was the voice he knew and loved. "Untie me, eh?"

With tears of relief clinging to his eyelids, Allen scrambled to his feet and carefully deactivated the Clown Belt. As the redhead stood up, Allen debated briefly whether he should just fling himself into Lavi's arms and kiss him, or wait until Lavi made the first move.

"I'm really glad you're back, Lavi, you scared me back there," he said, in order to stall for some time.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Lavi stood up and dusted off. As he raised his head and straightened his headband, Allen felt a tiny twinge of misgiving, and shrugged it off. It was all right, everything was fine... right?

"I hope Master will be able to wipe the Pope's memories, so that you don't get into trouble for that. That was really bad, after all."

Lavi chuckled, and again Allen felt a shadow of something not quite right. There was something wrong with the look in Lavi's eye...

"You know something? You're really, really easy to fool," the redhead said with a weird gesture of his hand.

"Lavi?"

"Haven't I already told you, kid? I'm not Lavi anymore. 'Lavi' died the moment I walked into the barrier around the Vatican. You were too busy worrying over the vampire to notice, weren't you. You think I don't remember how 'Lavi' behaved enough to fool even you?" He laughed bitterly. "Well, now that we're away from the barrier, it looks like you need some more convincing before you realize that I'm not Lavi anymore. But before we do that, let me remind you that I won't go easy on you. You just might have to kill me, because if you get me mad enough, I'll kill you. Unlike any of my personae, I don't have any emotional attachments, only raw emotions like fear and rage, and I don't even give a fuck what that old panda bastard wants of me. You might be the Destroyer of Time or whatever, but I won't hold back on account of that." He drew the mallet from its holster, and to Allen's disbelief, it activated without hesitation.

Was his Innocence condoning his actions?!

"Of course, if you're smart, Beansprout, you'll just accept this truth and not fight me about it. I won't hurt you if you don't fight me; I'm not evil, you know. I'm just ambitious. There's a difference."

"No," Allen said softly, closing his eyes for a moment, before fixing the redhead with a firm look. "There's no difference at all. You say you killed 'Lavi' but I won't believe that."

"I didn't say that _I_ killed him. I said he's dead. But I didn't do it. If anyone besides that barrier did it, it was you. You're the one who seduced him."

Allen blinked in astonishment.

"You made him lose my way. 'Lavi' became the downfall of me. Did you honestly think you'd be able to make him happy as your lover? Did you honestly think that giving up my goal of being the Bookman wouldn't bother me in the long run? Did you think you could hold out your hand to me and say 'Come live with me and be my love' and he'd just fall all over myself?"

_He's confusing his pronouns like crazy! What the... is 'Lavi' separate or not?_

"Tch," the bookman snorted at the look on Allen's face. "Marlowe was full of shit. 'Come live with me and be my love,' my ass!"

"The fact that your Innocence is still working without any verbal commands from you... it gives me hope. And the fact that you can't decide if Lavi is separate from you or not... Come, Bookman Junior, I'll fight you, to see the full extent of your powers, and to see if 'Lavi' sleeps within you. And if he does, I'll use every ounce of my power to draw him out. And if he doesn't, then I'll do him the justice of destroying you. I firmly believe that that's what Lavi would want, since he didn't want me to know about you, this ugly side of him!"

Allen then grasped his left wrist, and felt the dulling of his arm's senses as it converted into pure Innocence and transformed into the great sword of Exorcism.

"Well, have it your way," Bookman Junior said with a shrug, and then the two of them clashed weapon-to-weapon.

The moment the two weapons connected with each other, Allen got the briefest, most fleeting glimpse of his lover within this cold, unfeeling doppelganger. It was gone the moment the two Innocence weapons separated again.

 _Is it because...?_ Allen frowned and threw himself at the redhead again. The two weapons crossed again. Again he saw an ephemeral trace of Lavi... This gave him an idea. He pressed the point of his blade to the stump on his shoulder, activating the return of his arm. He had to see this at greater length.

"Giving up already? That's not like you, Beansprout!"

 _This might not be 'Lavi' but he remembers things that Lavi experienced; still, he doesn't understand things that are discovered and learned through emotional attachments. And now that his Innocence is awake and active, he's acting more like he cares more than he wants to. Inside the Basilica, he was reacting, not acting. Now he's acting_ and _reacting._

_The persona of 'Lavi' was bound to the hammer itself, or to its Innocence at least. So maybe... it's still in there? Maybe it's not inside him at all right now, but inside the hammer!_

Allen curved his left hand, cocking the claws into position. This was a gamble, but a gamble he was determined to win. He didn't lose at gambling very often. And this time, the soul of his adored lover was the ante.

 _Lavi! If you're in there, I need to know! Please, give me some kind of sign!_ He reached out when Bookman Junior attacked him, grasping firmly onto the hammer's handle.

 _Allen!_ That was Lavi's voice, he was sure of it. The affection in the voice as it formed the name was unmistakable.

"That's all I need. You're in there, Lavi. I know you are. And I'm going to find you, and bring you back, just like I swore I would! Just hang in there, Lavi!"

Bookman Junior reacted to his sudden outburst by releasing the weapon, leaping back. "Oh? Okay, I see using Innocence isn't working with you. That's all right, it's not like that's the only weapon in my arsenal."

The moment the redhead let go of the Innocence hammer, the voice of Lavi disappeared from Allen's mind. No matter how hard he gripped the handle, he couldn't feel Lavi's presence at all.

 _The Innocence must be the key to unlocking wherever 'Lavi' is hidden. Bookman Junior must have overridden him and locked him away, but he's not 'dead' per se. Okay, hammer, come with me and I'll --_ "--oof!" Allen tried to pick up the hammer, but found it wouldn't budge. It was far too heavy.

 _Okay, that won't work. Now what?_ He racked his brain. Bookman Junior came at him with just his bare fists, and it was all Allen could do to block him. Unfortunately, blocking wasn't enough.

This was getting dangerous, he knew that much. Lavi had always boasted about his fighting skills, and had insisted that his last persona had been a streetfighter in Portugal. But it was becoming quite clear now that he was more than just a streetfighter. Allen had sparred with Kanda on a few occasions and had come to a draw -- Kanda was a superior swordfighter, but Allen knew how to fight dirty with fists and heels -- and here he was, getting overwhelmed by the redheaded bookman.

As he was thrown against a wall yet again -- he'd since lost count -- he felt something break inside. A rib? Probably. At least cracked or bruised. Breathing was getting hard and painful. Allen racked his brain desperately. There had to be some way to stop Bookman Junior's rampage! He was certain that somehow "Lavi" was still within him or within the hammer, and that if given the chance, he'd be restored. The question was, how?

The wind was punched out of him when Bookman Junior drove a fist into his gut. Unintentionally, he coughed up a spat of blood. That gave the redhead pause, but only briefly. With a rapid turn of foot, the bookman spun around and hurled Allen against another wall. This time, Allen was too stunned by the force of both being knocked breathless and then being thrown like a ragdoll against the wall. He slumped, struggling for breath.

"If I kill you, he'll die too. Then I'll be at peace." Bookman Junior picked up the hammer and raised it. "The old panda will be furious at your death, Beansprout, but he'll get over it, because he'll have his successor back."

For just a split second, Allen resigned himself to death; then he fought back mentally. He wasn't about to give up! He'd promised Mana, and he'd promised his Master, and he'd promised Lavi... he'd promised everyone!

 _Counter Innocence with Innocence!_ Allen heard a voice he didn't quite recognize in his brain. Was this the Ark talking to him? Well, it didn't matter -- as the hammer swung down at him, bent on crushing him, his left hand activated and the claws staved off the hammer. It kept the hammerhead from crushing him, but he could feel the strain in his arm as he struggled to push Bookman Junior back. His inability to breathe properly was inhibiting his fighting.

As he pressed against the hammerhead, he _reached_ out with his soul; _Lavi! Can you hear me? Are you still there? Tell me how to save you!_

There was no response, but he couldn't let himself fear yet. Bookman Junior was starting to come apart at the seams. He was definitely rattled, and he was fighting a lot harder now than he had been before. Allen had to believe that that meant that "Lavi" was still very much alive within him. Instead, Allen threw what strength he had left into pushing against the handle, using his Innocence to increase the force. If anything could reach "Lavi" at this point, he hoped it was his own Innocence.

"Go AWAY, LAVI!" The redhead screamed suddenly, releasing the handle of the hammer. "Just disappear into the darkness! It won't hurt you! It won't hurt anyone! You're not real! I'm the only one who's real! I'm the one who experienced it all, I'm the real Bookman Junior! _GO AWAY!!_ " He fell to his knees, hands clutching his forehead in agony.

Timcanpy suddenly swooped down in front of Allen, flapping its wings excitedly.

"Allen!" A familiar voice hollered from not far away, and Allen became aware of approaching footsteps.

"Allen!"

"Dammit, beansprout, get up!"

"Allen, you idiot, what the hell are you doing sleeping?!"

"You idiot apprentice!"

Allen rolled his head slightly, to see his companions and the two Generals charging up the street. Krory was in the lead, by sheer force of his feral ability when his Innocence was activated.

"Master...?" Was all Allen could wheeze out as Cross came into view. "How did you..."

Cross knelt by where Allen was laying on the ground; because of the injuries to his ribs, Allen was unable to get up on his own. "We found the new anchor point. I have a golem that's keyed to track Timcanpy, so it found the new coordinates for us. The Ark apparently anchored on the obelisk in the middle of Saint Peter's Square. Apparently the barrier doesn't include the entire Square. Or at least it's weaker by the edges."

Krory and Kanda got on either side of Bookman Junior. Lenalee came to Allen's side, while Socalo just positioned himself at the perimeter, ready to attack or assist as needed.

"So what happened?" Lenalee asked gently.

"It didn't work. He's still... he's still Bookman Junior, but Lavi's in there somewhere. I can sense it when I touch the hammer when he's holding onto it."

Bookman Junior lunged forward and snatched the large hammer from the ground, lifting it up. "Allen Walker, I have to kill you. If I don't, he'll never leave me alone. Lavi doesn't seem to want to leave without you. Don't worry -- he'll die with you, you won't be alone! It won't hurt anyone! Just please, let me do this. If you love him so much, let me do this, and then you two can always be together. And I can go back to being the Bookman successor."

"If we let you do that," Krory said sternly, "we'll lose two Exorcists, not one. Ergo, we cannot do that."

"Therefore, we cannot let you kill the beansprout," Kanda added. "I don't give a damn about the beansprout, but I do care about the Black Order, and I won't let you further deplete our numbers."

"Master, what can I do?" Allen groaned, struggling to speak. "He's already broken at least one of my ribs, and I think a lung is collapsed. I don't have the strength to keep fighting him. And I don't know that fighting is helping."

"Well, you could just give up."

"You know I can't do that!"

"Then pick yourself up off the ground and go save him, if you love him so much."

Lenalee gave him a hand up off the ground, pulling his arm across her shoulders to help support him. "I'll help you as much as you need, Allen-kun. You know how much my friends mean to me, and Lavi is my friend too."

"How confident are you in the Ark, Allen?" Cross inquired as he crossed his arms and watched as Krory and Kanda kept Bookman Junior at bay.

"Huh?"

"The only way I can think of to stop all this is also the most dangerous. You have to use the Ark to its full extent, and if you make one wrong move, you'll do irreversible damage." The area fell silent as Allen looked expectantly at the Grneral. Finally, Cross looked at his student firmly. "You have to delete him, and reconstruct him. Are you confident enough in your knowledge of him to rebuild him?"

Allen looked over at Bookman Junior, and for a moment he transposed onto him the soul of the one he loved. Could he do it? More importantly, could he afford to not try?

He nodded. "I think I can do it. I did it once before, right?"

"You restored what was put into limbo before. Now you have to manually break him down and reconstruct him. If you can fully accept the burden of this task, and the burden of the Ark, you can do it with ease. But you have to fully accept everything, Allen. If you have any hesitations, the Ark won't behave itself."

Allen blinked.

"In other words, you young idiot, you have to come to terms with the Ark, and stop hating it."

Allen nodded. "I understand. So I need to go to the piano room, right? And how do I delete him without deleting anyone else?"

"We'll lock him into a room," Socalo said. "Leave that much to us. You go take care of whatever preparations you need."

Lenalee helped him over to a door, which he touched and silently commanded to take him to the control room with the piano in it. The door opened at his touch, and he and Lenalee clambered into the stark white room. Timcanpy happily fluttered over to sit on the piano, where it projected the Score.

The piano seemed almost lonely in the room, with only its stool for company. Lenalee helped him to sit down at the stool, and then she stood back, to give him some space.

And now came the moment of truth. He had to accept the Ark and all that it represented.

He pictured Lavi's face, the way he smiled slightly crookedly. He remembered their first kisses, sloppy and forceful, but honest. The moments of tenderness throughout their love affair. The vague images of Lavi weeping over him when he nearly bled to death. Their intimate first night of lovemaking, just before this whole fiasco of a mission had started. Lavi wasn't the only one who kept details stored within himself.

 _"In lieu of killing my heart, I gave it to you. Perhaps that will be my saving grace, if you can keep it safe."_ Lavi had said that to him on the train more than a week ago. And his own words in response... _"Even if you do disappear, Lavi, I'll find you and bring you back. That's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now: no matter what, if you get lost, I'll find you and bring you back."_

Allen rolled his head on his shoulders to loosen the tension. He reached down within himself and grasped onto the whole concept of the Ark.

He didn't truly hate the Ark itself, only what it represented, and what it had meant. If it meant that Mana had been the Fourteenth Noah... Allen would have to come to terms with that, whether or not he liked it. _"You can deny it all you want, but if Mana Walker was the Fourteenth Noah, you can't change that."_ Lavi, his saving grace, his shining light of heaven, his tide of water in the earth, his soaring prayer, had been right.

 _I don't hate the Ark. I don't even hate what it stands for anymore. I just... I want Lavi back. I love him more than anything right now, and I certainly love him more than I hate any one thing, least of all the Ark._ Allen bowed his head in thought. _I just want him back, as the Lavi that I fell in love with. Ark, short of betraying my vows to my beloved people and to the Black Order, I'll do anything if you'll help me get him back._

"Oi, beansprout," Kanda's voice split his concentration over the transmitter hanging from Allen's ear. "We've got him locked in a room with the number 749 beside it. Cross wants to know if you're ready."

"Yeah," Allen said. "I think I can do this."

"I hope so. Otherwise, we'll lose a piece of Innocence."

Allen focused his attentions on the room in question, having passed by it before. He then took a deep breath, put his fingers to the keys, and proceeded to play.

" _And then the boy drifted off to sleep, breathing deeply... the flames within the ash, one by one welling up... that beloved face... a thousand dreams upon this earth, silver as your eyes, trembling on the night, a shining self is born... Hundreds and millions of months and years... no matter how many prayers are returned to the earth, I will continue to pray... please give this child love, joined hands and a kiss..._ "

In his mind's eye, Allen saw Bookman Junior being enveloped by darkness, and then he envisioned him being brought back, grid by grid, with the soul and persona that he so dearly loved firmly attached. _Bind that persona to his blood, so that it can never be erased again._ He put his whole heart into the song, throwing himself wide open. _I'm giving everything I have to you, Ark. Please... just give him back to me! Please!_

"Lavi!" He called, before he'd even realized it. "Please, Lavi! Come back to me!"


	7. Lighting the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming to terms with the Ark, Allen uses the Score to draw "Lavi" out and restore balance, forcing Bookman Junior into permanent retreat. The Exorcists return home to the Black Order, where Lavi is reprimanded for the attack on the Pope, while Allen gets a rather unusual talk from the Exorcist nurse Catherine...

**Part Seven: Lighting the Darkness**

Allen blinked the sand from his eyes.

Sand? No, it wasn't sand; it was dried skin and the salt of dried tears.

He was on his back, looking up at the white ceiling of the piano room. Timcanpy was sitting on his forehead, patting his eyebrows with its little paws.

"Are you okay, Allen-kun?" Lenalee leaned over him, looking concerned. "You sort of passed out."

"How long have I been out?"

"Not long at all. Maybe thirty seconds."

"Lavi!" Allen sat up abruptly -- and the motion sent Timcanpy flying right into the front of the piano with a loud _bang!_ The keyguard slammed down over the keys. The golem righted itself and turned, glaring at its master. Allen, meanwhile, holding his aching side with the injured rib and gasping for breath, struggled to his feet. "Did it work? Shishou! Did it work?"

"Well, he appears to be here and unharmed, but he's barely conscious," Cross's voice said over the transmitter. "What are you going to do next, baka-deshi?."

"I'm coming in there. I want to see with my own eyes if it worked." Allen turned to Lenalee. "I'm sorry, Lenalee, but... can I get your help...?"

"Of course, you don't even need to ask. Here." She hoisted him up and guided him to the door. With a touch, he changed its target, and they emerged into room 749. Lavi was prostrate on the ground, but he was moving slowly. Socalo and Cross crouched next to him, watching him carefully.

"I feel hung over..." Lavi murmured. (Or was it Bookman Junior?) His hands were at his forehead. Then his head snapped up. "Allen! Where's Allen?"

Well, that was promising. But no, Allen couldn't be certain just yet. Bookman Junior had fooled him once before.

When Lavi spied him, being supported by Lenalee, the redhead scrambled dizzily to his feet and stumbled over. "Oh my god, I really did beat you up. Christ, Allen, I'm so sorry! I didn't want you to ever see that side of me!" Tears began to slide down his cheeks. "I won't blame you if you hate me for it, but dammit, I tried my hardest to wrestle him down. No control on his vices, that one, because he doesn't understand restraint and attachments. So emotionally retarded that it's not even funny. I guess you could say I'm a complete wreck. I'm absolutely worthless without a false persona in control."

Allen unlatched himself from Lenalee and managed to stay standing upright. "You're Lavi now? You're not Bookman Junior? I got fooled once, and you know what they say: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me..." A stitch in his side prevented him from finishing the statement.

"You can't get fooled again, Allen," Lavi chuckled through his tears. "I know you too well. I'm sorry, I really am. I tried to warn you when he started to take over, but it happened so fast. He just slammed me into a chamber inside my own mind and proceeded to go wild. I swear, he screwed _everything_ up! He even lied about what's on the artifact!"

Allen closed his eyes for a moment and searched his senses. He felt no sinister presence this time. _I'm going to throw caution to the wind and assume that this really is Lavi this time. It felt right. I felt "Bookman Junior" disappear when I deconstructed him. I'm sure I felt his anger and hatred melt away into the darkness. And I held onto "Lavi" when I rebuilt him. I'm not entirely sure if "Bookman Junior" was completely erased, but I'm sure I eased his agony. I could feel his anger and his desire to cease existing. I hope he found peace, however it came to him. I'm... I have to believe that "Lavi" is the one in him now, now and always._

Slowly, awkwardly, Allen moved forward, until he was right in front of Lavi. When he tried to put his arms around the redhead, he stumbled and nearly collapsed, panting with the effort and wincing at the pain in his side.

"Damn, Allen, stop pushing yourself so hard! As if I don't feel bad enough!"

"Welcome back, Lavi. I'm so glad you came back to me!" Allen wrapped his arms tightly around his lover's shoulders, clinging to him. "I was afraid you were lost to me forever."

"I'm sorry, Allen. I thought I was too... and I wish I knew how you fixed things," Lavi murmured, holding him close. There was a prolonged silence as the two of them just clung to each other. "Thank you, Allen. Really. Thank you. I'm sorry I hurt you like that. I didn't want to. I thought my heart was going to break in half when he tried to kill you. I was sure you'd hate me after that."

"I knew it wasn't you, Lavi. How could I hate you?"

"Aww, cut me a little slack! When you're nothing more than an intangible idea, abstract things like logic aren't exactly your forte!"

Allen just had to believe that this was truly Lavi. It would hurt too much for it to be otherwise.

"So how badly did I work you over? I couldn't tell the extent of your injuries, I just know I did a number on you."

"Ah, just a rib and a lung. Nothing serious. If we're lucky and Catherine's there when we get home, it'll probably heal in nothing flat. You're really my Lavi..." Allen felt his eyes sting with tears of relief. "I'm so glad. I was so afraid you were lost forever. I tried to bind you to your blood, Lavi. I don't know if it worked or not, but I thought maybe if I could, then you'd never be fully erased."

Lavi stared at him in complete and utter incomprehension. "What?"

"Nevermind. It's getting kind of hard to talk."

"Looks like it worked, then," Socalo said, looking over at Cross. "So now what?"

"If we don't do something about the Pope, the entire alliance between the Order and the church will go up in smoke if we don't hand that kid over to them to make an example of. And there's no way the Order will condone that, nor the bookmen. Damn, if I'd known that barrier would do _that_ on that kid, I wouldn't have let him go into it. I figured it'd just knock that silly immature side out of him. I had no idea it'd make him into a fighting machine."

"I wondered why you told them the barrier was affecting only Akuma. I figured you had your reasons."

"I didn't want them to get all panicky. I didn't realize how bad the situation would get. That idiot Komui, he's going to have a lot to answer for, not fully debriefing me!"

"Serves you fucking right, Marian, for not keeping in touch with HQ for so long!" The armored General guffawed. "You can't expect them to tell you everything if you don't keep in contact." There was a pause as Socalo grew serious again. "So it's up to you'n'me, ain't it, Marian. These kids won't be anything but a nuisance."

"Yeah," Cross said finally, looking over at the five Exorcists. "You kids go home. You got the details of that artifact, right?" He looked directly at Lavi.

Lavi nodded once. "There's a lot more to it than Latin and Greek."

"And you can replicate it, right? Down to the last detail?"

"Yes."

"So it won't matter if the original gets destroyed?"

"What? Er, no, it won't matter, but..."

"Good, then get out of here," Socalo said. "Go back to headquarters and report to the Supervisor. Marian and I will clean up the mess." By now, Kanda and Krory were in the room.

"Get the artifact information back to HQ," Cross added. "That's your mission, isn't it? It's up to us to make sure that diplomatic relations aren't completely trashed."

"You said the artifact was a bust." Kanda glowered at Lavi. "You said it had nothing of value on it."

" _I_ didn't say that, _he_ did," Lavi said defensively. "He lied. He's a lying son-of-a-bitch who doesn't want the Black Order to get what it wants."

Kanda didn't look the least bit convinced. However, he didn't say anything; he merely stared Lavi down.

"What, you think bookmen don't have agendas? You guys are spoiled by Gramps' easy-going nature and his lack of pretenses because of who he is."

"I never thought of Bookman as easy-going," Lenalee said with a smile. "Not with how he smacks you around!"

"Ah, well, nine times out of ten, I totally deserve it. Hate to admit it, but I am still kind of a kid."

"We already knew that," Krory jeered gently. "Allen, I will carry you. Lavi looks pretty badly worn out as well, so I doubt he has the strength to carry you."

"No," Allen said, carefully inflating his lungs and noting that both lungs filled; apparently the one was only bruised, not collapsed. "No, Krory, I'm okay. I'll be fine."

"Right. That settles it," the baron retorted, sweeping Allen up and hoisting him onto his back, despite Allen's protests. "Whenever you insist you are okay, you never actually are."

"Say, uh, Kro-chan?" Lavi scratched at his head. "Allen needs to use the piano, I think, in order to get us home, and you're a mite too tall for him to play it properly."

"This is a problem?" Krory shrugged. "I can set him down and pick him up again. It is the least I can do in exchange for being so useless in the Vatican."

"Wasn't your fault, you know. It was the barrier," Lavi replied. "I'm not surprised it affected you that much, since your Innocence is parasitic and therefore in your blood; Allen's is too, but he's past Critical Point, so he probably didn't notice it as quickly."

They all filed into the piano room, while the two Generals exited the Ark through the door that led to Saint Peter's Square. As Allen sat down at the piano again, steadied by Krory's strong hands, he focused on the coordinates of the Black Order building. The Ark seemed perfectly happy to acquiesce to his request, though it was a bit rambunctious and bucked a bit when he first started play. Kanda and Lavi were thrown against the nearby wall, eliciting a couple of ugly expletives from both.

"Allen, what's going on?" Lenalee clutched at Krory's cape, while the baron shifted his weight to go along with the Ark's movements.

"This is normal," Allen said. "The Ark is orienting itself. Outside this room you wouldn't feel it, because you'd be moving with it."

"Uh... okay," the young woman blinked and shook her head. "I'm going to just trust you on this, Allen."

"Oww, I hit my head!" Lavi was complaining. He had slumped against the wall. "Yuu, gimme a hand?"

"Hell no," Kanda retorted. "Get up yourself. You're not injured. The beansprout's in worse shape than you."

"You're so cold, Yuu." That whiny voice was like music to Allen at this point, though he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to put up with all these annoying quirks as cute proof that his lover was back, before he snapped and belted him for being annoying.

_Slap!_

"Ow! Yuu, 'the hell was that for?"

"For being stupid; for being an asshole; for attacking the Pope and screwing everything up in doing so; for worrying everyone else; but mostly, for bitchslapping me into the wall in the Vatican."

"Hey now, that wasn't me!"

"Whether or not you were in control doesn't matter to me."

"Damn, Yuu, you're ruthless."

There was another lurch as the Ark found its coordinates and latched on. This time, when it locked down, the resulting movement caused even the piano to move a little bit.

"I guess the wards are repelling the Ark like they're supposed to; it felt like it was bouncing off of something," Allen said as explanation when the others looked at him. "I don't know. Ow!" He doubled over as his ribs twinged. "I've had worse injuries, why does this one hurt so much?"

"Because it is so superficial," Krory said as he hoisted Allen onto his back again. "The more severe an injury, the less it hurts, it seems."

"I really don't need you to carry me, you know, Krory."

"I do not recall giving you the option of deciding, Allen. This is my choice. Shut up and deal with it." The Romanian grinned over his shoulder at Allen. Krory could be as polite as anyone, and usually was more polite than necessary, even more so than Allen; but when the situation warranted it, the baron could be quite forceful and finite.

Kanda opened the door, and stepped through without hesitation. Lenalee and Lavi followed suit, and then Krory and Allen.

"Okay, who turned out the lights?" was the first thing Allen heard upon emerging into pitch black.

"Idiot!" There was a _bonk!_ noise as Kanda swatted the redhead; "It's just nighttime and we're outside."

"Outside?"

"You can start by opening your eyes, Lavi!" Lenalee giggled. "You'll see better that way."

"Don't wanna!"

"Beansprout, why are we _here_?"

"I guess these were the only coordinates the Ark could land on," Allen said wearily. They were at the foot of the path that lead up a winding trail to the spiral building of their home base. "I imagine that there are protections against any coordinates closer to the building, since the last raid."

"Oh well, it's not far at all," Krory said optimistically as he started up the path.

"I just hope that idiot gate guard doesn't give us trouble again," Allen murmured, resigning himself to being carried. He felt a touch to his leg and looked over to see Lavi walking beside them, looking at him with concern.

"Are you sure that it's only your ribs? I've seen you take much worse injuries than that."

"Well, anything I say won't be taken seriously," Allen said with a trace of bitter peevishness, thumping Krory's shoulder, "so what does it matter? I think it's only my ribs, but no one cares what I _think_ it is!"

"I am not going to repeat myself again," the baron retorted good-naturedly. "I have my reasons for doing this."

"That reminds me Lavi," Lenalee said. Her smile sent up an alarm in Allen's head. He'd seen that kind of smile on her before; not very often, but enough that he knew what was coming. Lavi had no idea, though, apparently.

"Mm?" The redhead looked at her, and she laid him flat with a well-aimed kick. "OW! Son of a... why is everyone picking on me?!"

"That's for beating up Allen, since he's in no condition to do it himself right now."

Lavi made a whining noise as he picked himself up off the ground and caught up with the others.

Krory's pace proved to be very quick indeed, because he and Allen were in front of the building long before the others. Allen tapped his transmitter and hoped for the best. "Komui? Can you hear me? We're right outside the door. Please, uh, just open up. We're tired and we've had a hell of a time."

"Man, Kro-chan, I wish I had shanks like you!" Lavi was gasping for breath by the time he and Kanda arrived at the door. "I had no idea your stride was that long!"

"Allen?" Komui's voice sounded over the transmitter after a delay. "Where did you say you were?"

"We're in front of the main door."

"How did you get back so fast? I thought I told you to only use the Ark in a dire emergency."

"It _was_ a dire emergency. I'll explain more later; please, just unlock the door."

"Right, but you're going to have to come straight to my office and report, because I just got a call from the Vatican about one of my Exorcists attacking the Pope."

"Crap," Lavi grumbled. "I'm going to be in such deep shit for this for a long time."

Lenalee put a hand on his shoulder; "Brother will listen to what you have to say, Lavi. He cares about the Exorcists, you know. He won't throw you to the wolves. He'll do what he can to protect you, and he won't abandon you."

"Thanks, but I'm not really worried about what Komui will do to me," Lavi said resignedly. "I know how he is with Exorcists. But damn, Gramps is going to kick my butt right into _next month_ for this."

The doorway groaned and creaked as the gears started to turn and the door lifted. They were brought face-to-face with none other than General Froi Tiedoll.

"Ah, it _is_ you kids. Good. Just wanted to make sure. Seemed a little fishy to have an Ark suddenly appear and then to hear Allen's voice calling for the doors to be opened." The General's eyes went right to Lavi. "I hear some serious uproar happened in the Vatican. The explanation on this ought to be good, since diplomatic relations are likely to be in shambles, with the two least diplomatic Generals left to deal with the Pope."

Lavi looked like someone had just kicked the ladder out from underneath him. If he'd been a dog, his ears would have gone flat against his skull and his tail would have curled under his belly... he probably would have been crawling on the ground in a grovel as well by now.

Tiedoll escorted them up the stairs, up several flights, directly to the Supervisor's office. General Klaud Nine was also there, with her student Catherine. Komui was on the phone, with his right-hand-man Reever standing next to his desk. Krory set Allen down once they were inside the office. Allen instinctively gravitated over to Lavi, and was just about to speak to his lover, when he saw Lavi's face go a shade or two paler. Following his gaze, Allen saw what had Lavi so alarmed, though he didn't quite understand why Lavi was so spooked.

At the far end of the room sat none other than Bookman himself. The old man was eyeing Lavi rather severely. The redhead wilted under his stare.

Allen grasped Lavi's hand and squeezed it. "I'm here with you, Lavi. _You_ did nothing wrong," he murmured to his lover. "They'll understand that soon enough."

"Take a seat, Lavi." Komui said as he hung up the receiver.

Lavi perched himself on the sofa, and Allen sat down as well, trying not to hold his side, though he could tell by the way she was looking at him that Catherine wasn't deceived.

There was a long silence as the Supervisor regarded the Exorcists. Lenalee and Krory gathered behind the sofa, joined by Miranda Lotto, who had heard the commotion and had come to see what her friends had discovered. Kanda remained on the far wall, feigning indifference.

"So," Komui said, his voice flat, "I'm told that a number of hours ago, a redhead with an eyepatch, wearing an Exorcist uniform and claiming to be Bookman Junior, physically attacked and injured His Holiness, Pope Leo XIII. We have only two red-haired Exorcists, one of whom is a General. And frankly, there is only one genuine Exorcist that would ever presume to call himself Bookman Junior." The Supervisor was clearly furious. "Lavi, when I sent you on this mission, I was under the impression that you could maintain diplomacy and policy no matter the circumstances. I certainly didn't suspect you capable of doing this! Exactly what were you thinking? The Vatican is practically calling for your head."

Lenalee quietly and surreptitiously put a hand on Lavi's shoulder. Lavi shrugged her hand off; "I'll take what's coming to me on my own, Lenalee. I don't need your pity."

"You won't take it on your own," Allen said sharply. "We were all there, we saw what happened."

"Well, someone needs to explain this," Komui said coldly. "This is not a small matter. That was not some minor priest you attacked, Lavi. That was _the Pope_. You do realize how indebted to the Papacy the Black Order is, don't you? Without the blessings of the church, we have no power whatsoever."

" _He_ came out, didn't he." Bookman's gravelly voice split the sudden silence. His statement, though phrased as a question, was in no way even questioning.

Lavi looked over at the old man and then looked down. "Yeah."

"Hmm." Bookman's eyes swept the room silently. "Supervisor, I must apologize. This appears to have been caused by my failure to follow through with procedure. I didn't realize he was stupid enough to actually risk that by entering into that barrier. You see, this young idiot has an inherited predisposition toward sudden fits of inexplicable rage at the drop of a pin, and a tendency toward expressing that rage with his fists. He comes by that honestly, just as he comes by that bright red hair."

The room was dead silent as everyone turned their attention to the old man.

"You're just like your father, Lavi. Trigger temper, flame-colored hair and all. The only difference is that I got you early enough to channel that innate anger through the use of personae. On your own, you're a walking time-bomb."

Lavi's jaw unhinged; "Wait, Gramps! You knew my old man?"

"Knew him? I practically raised him. He was one of my potential successors at one point, but his blind rages made him unfit to be a bookman. You are the spitting image of your father, I might add. Did you think it was a coincidence that when your mother decided to disappear, that she chose the Bookman Clan, instead of an orphanage, to leave her son? She owed us that much, for supporting her after your father abandoned you both. But I digress a bit.

"I assumed you would be too intimidated by the prospect of losing yourself and wouldn't be tempted into the barrier without me there with you. That was my mistake. I should have known better. You're bloody well nearly fearless. However, either the barrier has weakened considerably, or somehow you managed to retain yourself, because you clearly have reverted." Bookman approached the redhead and got right in his face, looking him over critically. "So how did you manage it?"

"Allen did it," Lavi murmured. "I have no idea how. I was too busy fighting with Junior. Next thing I know, everything's dark, I hear Junior fade, and then I wake up and I've got a hangover the size of China. The barrier wasn't weakened at all. I just was clinging so tight that it couldn't erase me right away. I was very nearly dissolved entirely when Allen yanked us onto the Ark. Thirty seconds more and it would've been too late."

"Would you mind explaining this to me?" Komui interrupted. "Frankly, I'm confused and not understanding this at all, and I'm the one they're all screaming at."

Bookman obliged. "There is a protective supernatural barrier around the Vatican. It is especially strong around Saint Peter's Basilica, since that's where it is centered. The barrier itself is far, far older than our recorded knowledge of Innocence. There are details I cannot and will not reveal, but suffice to say, it is generated continuously and maintained by the holy relics within the great basilica; in particular, the remains of the first pope himself. The barrier is tied to and reinforced by the incumbent Pope throughout history, but it is primarily generated by the Tomb of Saint Peter. It is meant to protect the Pope himself and the Holy See from the likes of the Earl. Because Innocence is the polar opposite of the Earl's dark matter, and because it was only discovered recently in comparison to the history of the Vatican, the shield of course blocks Innocence as well. It also blocks most spells, benign or otherwise."

Komui nodded when the old man paused to see if he'd digested all that. "Go on."

"The practice of using personae utilized by the clan is done by using benign spells to bind the persona to something tangible. This makes the persona automatic and overrides many of the natural impulses. Case in point: this idiot, without a persona, has a natural tendency toward being stand-offish and analytical. He tends to react slowly but accurately, except when his ire is sparked. By training his subconscious with the persona of Lavi, he has lightning-fast reactions and a general inclination toward magnanimity and teamwork. He would not have blended in well with the other Exorcists had I left him as he was. As 'Lavi' he works well in a group or alone, and doesn't get angry easily.

"The point of the persona is that it is automatic, meaning that the wearer will stay true to the personality in nearly every single possible situation. It is a subconscious alteration of personality quirks. Therefore, it doesn't require acting. It makes blending into a society that much easier. Unfortunately, there is a price to it; the more personae a bookman takes on, the harder it is on him when the persona is used up and discarded. I won't say a piece of the soul is lost, because that's not true, but there is a piece of _identity_ that is lost when the persona is abandoned. Memories are retained, for what is a historian who forgets? However, they can be difficult to interpret if they are laced with emotions."

Bookman paused and observed Lavi. "I will say this much, Lavi. You were definitely the most promising I've ever had. It pains me to do this, but it seems you've given me no choice. Look at me, boy."

Reluctantly, Lavi raised his eye to meet the old man's. Bookman reached out and placed his hands on Lavi's temples, pressing them with his fingertips. "I hereby strip you of your rank as Successor of Bookman. I hereby strip you of any clan affiliation. Henceforth, you are not a bookman, but merely a supporter." As he spoke, he tapped at Lavi's temples in a rhythmic pattern.

There was no response from Lavi. Allen throttled down a wave of panic at the glassy look of his eye.

"Now then," Bookman said, stepping back a bit. "Tell me who you are. Tell me your name and occupation."

There was only the slightest of hesitations as Lavi found his speaking voice. His answer was firm and resolute. "My name is Lavi, and I am an Exorcist for the Black Order."

"Good!" Bookman snapped his fingers loudly, and Lavi blinked. "No intervention on my part is necessary. However you were restored, it was done better than I could have done. I could not even find any traces of any other personae. And as the head of the bookman clan, I believe this will suffice as punishment for your behavior." He gave Lavi the slightest shadow of a smile, as if in apology. "There may be some side effects, some memories forgotten, but they should all be procedural only. And the memories are not completely lost yet, merely disconnected."

Komui pressed his hands to his face; "This isn't helping much; I've still got infuriated cardinals on the horn calling for us to hand over the attacker. And now you wash your hands of him."

"I don't recall washing my hands of him. I demoted him. He is still under my aegis, I believe. I did not cast him out entirely. It is my understanding that while the Black Order relies on the Vatican, it is not answerable to the Papacy. I think that if you assure the Holy See that the Exorcist in question will be suitably punished, they cannot ask for more than that."

"Hmm," the Supervisor murmured after a pause. "I suppose you're right. Anyway, the more important thing is this artifact. I take it, since you were in the Vatican, that it was confiscated by the Holy See. I hope that you were at least able to get a good look at it, Lavi?"

"Yeah, I saw it. And I can duplicate what was written on it. I couldn't read all of it, it was really, really eroded, but there was both Latin and Greek, and something else. I'm not sure if it was Sanskrit or what. You know, I don't want to be a pest or anything, but I'm thinking someone should take Allen to the medic ward? He's got at least a bruised or cracked rib."

"I was wondering why he looks like he's in excruciating pain," Catherine said from where she stood just behind her General. "Allen, let me have a look at you. I also wanted to talk to you about something else." She bustled over, grasping Allen by the arm and gently helping him up.

"Don't worry, Allen," Lenalee said reassuringly, when Allen looked down at Lavi with a questioning expression on his face. "Krory and I will stay here with Lavi. And Kanda can help us explain things a bit more too."

"Uh, okay." Allen surrendered to Catherine's insistence and followed her out of the office. The nurse was silent as she escorted him to a nearby medical room. Allen chose not to break the silence, not really sure what to say to the matter anyway. Silently, Catherine conducted her examination, utilizing her Innocence to help her isolate the injury.

"It's just a bruise. I don't see any fractures or cracks. Still... would you mind telling me how you got a rib injury? Does it have to do with the whole incident with the Pope?"

"Yeah, kind of. Lavi became Bookman Junior, and lost his temper, so I had to open the Ark and pull him in. He got really angry with me and basically, in a round-about way, he attacked me. He really is an amazing fighter. I'd have enjoyed much better if I hadn't been on the receiving end of it."

The French woman pursed her lips in concentration. She uncorked her Innocence bottle and activated it. "I'm not sure if this will work or not, I haven't figured out what all its limitations are, but it can't hurt, especially you." She handed him the bottle. "Go ahead, drink all of it."

When he finished and handed it back, she perched herself on a stool. "The other thing I wanted to talk to you about... well, it's a little more sensitive."

Allen blinked owlishly at her.

"I may be assuming too much about you and Lavi, but... you know, there are ways to make _it_ more comfortable. Lubricants, for one."

Allen felt his face flame. "Uh..."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to presume; I'm just concerned that you might hurt each other in your ignorance. Anal intercourse isn't easy, and it's extremely uncomfortable, if not painful, if you're not fully prepared. Unlike vaginal intercourse, there is no real natural preparation; frankly, that part of the body isn't used to having something stuck _into_ it, so it doesn't have any natural lubricants to ease such." She stopped a moment. "Good god, Allen, are you okay? You're about as red as Lavi's hair!"

"I, uh, can't, er, believe... how can you, er, talk so casually about it?"

"What, you think I'm totally ignorant? Come on, my brother's had a few flings with other men, and it's not like I'm completely innocent myself. I am betrothed, you know. Banns posted, the whole nine yards. The only reason Pascal and I are not married yet is financial. It costs a lot of money to get married."

Allen tried to figure out how to politely ask her why any of this mattered, but she got to the point almost as soon as he thought it. "What I'm saying is, I'm not a virgin, haven't been for a couple of years, and believe me, my fiance is a lusty man. He likes to try different things. You name a position, we've probably tried it. And my point here is that I'm not a stranger to anal sex. I don't particularly like it, but I have an alternative. But I'm not ignorant to it, and I know how uncomfortable it can be. So I'm just saying, there are techniques to make it easier."

"Er," Allen rubbed his face, trying to will the fierce blush down, "Jeryy kinda advised us with 'stretch, lube, go slow.'"

Catherine sputtered with laughter and covered her mouth, biting down on the back of her hand to suppress the laughter. "Oh, god, that man. I honestly can't tell if he's homosexual, bisexual or what. But he's precious, really. His wonderful cooking aside, he's such a wonderful person. Ah, but now I digress. He's right, that's a pretty good way to look at it. I'll just add the word 'repeat' to that mantra. How are you feeling now? Has the Aqua Vitae helped?"

"Yeah, actually. It has. I feel much better. Amazing!" Allen pulled in a deep breath of air, relieved that his ribcage no longer hurt.

"Had that been an actual crack or fracture, I'm not sure Aqua Vitae would have been much help. It seems to work mostly with blood, and it appears to work best on you, for some reason. I'm assuming it's because you are parasitic, and it's so Innocence-laden that the Innocence within it responds to yours. Bruising is really just an injury to blood vessels, so I'm not surprised that Aqua Vitae worked for you."

There was a long silence as Allen stood up and put his shirt and coat back on.

"Petroleum jelly," Catherine said, standing up and flipping errant curls back from her face.

"Huh?"

"That's a good sufficient lubricant. And it's common. It's also a good all around ointment, which is why it's stocked in all Exorcists' rooms. It's great for rashes and burns."

"Ah, uh," Allen coughed. "Thanks. I think."

"I'm only trying to help, Allen. I don't mean to pry."

"I know. Thanks. No, really, thank you."

As he left the room, he very nearly walked into Lavi.

"Oh, there you are. Come on, let's go. I think I need to hide for a while. You don't mind, I hope, if I hide in your room with you."

Allen laughed; "Since when have I minded?" At Lavi's sharp glance, he retorted. "No, don't answer that." He linked his arm through Lavi's, relieved that they were home safely, and that "Lavi" was here to stay.

They stopped by the cafeteria only long enough for Allen to grab something quick to eat before heading to his room. It was already at least two in the morning as it was, so hardly anyone was in the cafeteria.

"I'm just glad Catherine was able to fix your ribs for you so quickly," Lavi said as they arrived in Allen's room. "I still feel bad about that."

"Stop kicking yourself over it," Allen said as he shrugged off his coat and hung it in the wardrobe. "They were only bruised anyway." He shrugged out of his vest and shucked his boots. "It's so good to be home!"

He was stopped when Lavi's arms appeared around him, embracing him from behind.

"I'm sorry, Allen. You'll have to forgive me for this," the redhead murmured throatily, nipping at the back of Allen's neck, "but I must have you now. I fear it cannot wait."

"Huh?"

Lavi spun him around, kissing him aggressively. "I need you right now. You needed me once; _I_ need _you_ now."

Allen blinked at him, uncomprehendingly. "What are you talking about?"

"Priceless," Lavi growled against his lips, his hands moving down Allen's torso to rest on the waistband of his trousers, "now you're playing innocent? Fine, I'll spell it out to you: You could say that I want to make love to you. But, perhaps it's easier and more accurate to say that I want to fuck you until my heart explodes."

"I cannot believe I'm hearing these words out of you, Lavi," Allen chuckled as he returned the intimate embrace. "Well, let's do it right this time. I don't really want to be sore like that again."

"I know, I know; I suppose I can hold it in long enough for that."

"I'm still embarrassed that Jeryy's the one who told us how to do it right!"

"Lube, stretch, lube, go slow. Got it. Where's the lubricant anyway?"

"Well, if you'd let go of me, I'd get it."

"Hell no! I'll get it myself. I'm not letting you out of my arms."

"Dammit, Lavi, stop being such a pain in the ass!"

"That's what the lube is for!"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

Allen twisted out of Lavi's grasp and pushed him toward the bed. "I'll get it, damn you. This is _my_ room. Why don't you concentrate on getting undressed?"

"Oh fine, be that way! What kind of lube do you have?"

"It ain't fancy, but it'll work, I'm pretty sure. Catherine assured me it'll work just fine."

"Cath--" Lavi sputtered; " _Catherine?!_ You told Catherine about this?!"

"I didn't have to -- she asked _me_ about it. Come on, Lavi, just about everyone in the Black Order is aware of us by now. You said yourself that they assumed we'd been sleeping together for a long time. It's not exactly a huge secret anymore, and it's certainly not a jump in logic to assume we'd reach this point sooner or later."

"Yeah but... You talked to Catherine -- dammit, Allen, that's like talking to Lenalee about it!"

"Not it's not! What, you think Catherine's a virgin? You know she's practically married, right? Banns posted and all. She's trying to get her fiance up here to the HQ, to work with the research team."

Lavi scrubbed his reddening face with his hands. "You know what? I'm never going to be able to look her in the face again!"

"She's a _nurse_ , Lavi. She knows about this kind of thing, you know. It's not like it's that uncommon; it's just not talked about."

"And yet you talked about it!"

"Only because she asked. She was concerned we'd hurt each other. Anyway, this is what she recommended." He held up a jar of something slightly gross-looking.

"What the hell is it? It looks nasty! It looks like someone left mayonnaise out too long!"

"It's just petroleum jelly."

"Really? Does it stink?"

"It smells like ointment," Allen chuckled as he tossed the jar at Lavi. "Besides, what are you planning to use, your nose? That wasn't exactly what _I_ had in mind."

"Not funny!"

"Au contraire, mon amie, I thought it was quite clever."

"Yeah, you who comes up with wheels of cheese that are dumber than hell," Lavi retorted. "Whatever. Now strip."

"Yes sir!" Allen made a mock salute, and set about removing his clothing. It was warm enough in the room that it wasn't uncomfortable at all. Though, frankly, the thought that he was possibly putting on a show for someone other than Lavi wasn't very appealing. He looked around for Timcanpy.

"Uh, I just realized something," Lavi said, echoing Allen's thoughts. "Where the hell's that golem? I really don't want it recording us."

Allen doubled over laughing, grabbing onto the bedpost as he did so.

"What's so funny? I'm serious!"

"I know you are, that's what's so funny! I was just thinking the same thing when you said that. Hey, Tim, come on, get lost. Go hide in the shower or something. Come on, give us some privacy."

The golem unfurled itself from where it was perched on the bookcase and sulkily flapped into the washroom, where Allen shut the door.

"That takes care of that."

"You're evil, Allen." Lavi's eye glinted mischievously, and he crooked a finger, beckoning. "Come here."

Allen came over and sat down beside him on the bed. For a moment, he let himself drink in the sight of his lover's naked body, skimming over the scars and focusing on the curves and angles. Lavi was put together rather nicely, all things considered. A light dusting of russet hairs freckled his chest and abdomen. Further down, the hairs got darker red.

"I just noticed you have a five-o'clock shadow, Lavi," Allen said with a grin.

"What?" Lavi brought his hand to his chin. "Oh, yeah. I need to shave. Ehn, I'll do that later. Much later. Okay, let's get this started; I'm not going to be able to hold this forever, you know. Lay down."

Allen blinked at him. "Uh, why?"

"You'll see. I figure we might as well kill two birds with one stone. This can be foreplay. Come on, come on, open your legs. I need to be able to reach, you know."

"This is a strange conversation," Allen said with a nervous laugh.

"This is a strange situation," Lavi retorted. "Deal with it. Don't be difficult about it. This might be cold."

"Ugh! Yeah, it is."

"Relax, you're a little bundle of heat; it'll warm up in no time. Good thing I have long arms, eh?" Lavi leaned over and stretched out alongside Allen. While his fingers worked adroitly at their important task of "lube, stretch, lube, stretch," he employed his lips in keeping Allen's mouth occupied. With his tongue, he explored Allen's teeth, wrestling briefly with Allen's tongue.

"Let me know if I'm going to fast," Lavi said at one point, his voice husky and rasping with his building lust.

"You're fine."

"Fine? That's it? I beg to differ!"

"Hey, go easy! Remember that third rule, go slow?"

"Grr."

"That was barbaric, Lavi!"

"Ah, well, I'm probably a barbarian anyway. I'm certainly a mongrel. Good thing I won't be breeding, eh?"

"Careful!"

"Oops, sorry. Went too fast?"

"No; your fingernails..."

"Now you're talking too much, Allen."

"Mnmph!" Allen flailed his arms a bit in surprise at the force of the kiss, combined with Lavi's ministrations down below. It was almost enough to send him over the edge. His whole body was starting to feel like one giant roast. He was pretty sure he was red all over now from the internal heat.

"Hey, easy there, Allen," Lavi said gently. "No need getting all worked up. We've got all the time in the world. You're nowhere near ready, I don't think. I may not be hung like a horse, but I don't think I'm _that_ poorly endowed! Hey, calm down! Breathe deeply, don't hyperventilate! You're starting to worry me, you know."

Allen sucked in a shaky breath, filling his lungs; he held it in for a few heartbeats and then let it out slowly. "Sorry, Lavi; I just got a little... I don't know, spooked."

"What are you, a horse? Calm down, it's not like we've never done this before."

"I know... Lavi, maybe you are going too fast? I don't know, I just... something feels rushed."

"Right, okay, I'll slow down."

Time began to liquefy as the blood went straight to a certain extremity. Allen lost track of how long they'd been like this. Running his fingers through Lavi's damp hair, he bit down on a moan of ecstasy. Unwittingly, he also bit down on Lavi's lip; the sharp intake of breath and the sudden parting of lips alerted him to his mistake, and he blinked the sweat from his eyes; "Sorry, Lavi. I..."

"My bad, I should've gotten out of the way of your teeth. I'll try to remember that for next time."

Allen brought a hand up to his forehead, pushing his sweat-soaked bangs out of his eyes. "Damn, how much longer?"

"Heh heh," Lavi chuckled throatily. "I was just about to ask you if you thought you were ready. I think it's been long enough. You feel ready to me... but it's up to you."

"God, Lavi, just _get on with it_ , I'm on fire with anticipation, you idiot!"

"You asked for it!" Lavi shifted position, bringing himself up, pressing Allen's knees apart and using both hands to shift Allen's hips. Allen's hands both fell to the sheets beneath them, grasping them as if they were handles. There was a moment of hesitation, and then an encroaching pressure as Lavi pressed in; at first, his body didn't want to yield, but he forced himself to relax, and...

_Oh god!_

"You couldn't wait, huh?" Lavi snickered, grabbing hold of the blanket and using it to wipe off the white fluids that now flecked both of them. "Eager little bastard, I'll give you that."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize." Lavi gathered him up into his arms, shifting position to ease some of the awkwardness.

Talking ceased; it was kind of pointless to try talking now anyway, with lust squeezing unusual sounds from them, and forcing them both to lose track of words. Time seemed to become another substance entirely, flowing in every direction but forward. At one point, Allen gave up trying to commit anything to memory. His limbs were starting to feel heavy, as were his eyelids. As such, his reaction to Lavi's climax was subdued and a bit delayed. Without realizing what he was doing, he bit down, his teeth landing on Lavi's shoulder and sinking in just enough to split the skin. At that point, reality walked out the door in disgust.

When he finally got his head on straight and came to himself, Lavi was laying beside him, not on top of him anymore. It was over. They were both drenched in sweat, and the bed was wet in patches from... well, not sweat!

"That bad, huh?" Lavi murmured. "You practically fell asleep on me! Was I boring you?"

"No, not at all. I'm so sorry, Lavi. It just all caught up with me. The Ark, and the Vatican, and the stress and all. Plus, I think Catherine's Aqua Vitae tends to make the patient sleepy."

Lavi hitched his shoulder. "You bit me, you know. That's going to leave a mark. And if you think I'm going to ask Catherine for something for this, think again!"

Allen chuckled tiredly and wrapped his arms around his lover. "I love you, Lavi. I'm so glad you're here with me."

"I'll be here for as long as you can put up with me. Hopefully, that's going to be a while."

"Oh, at least the rest of my life, I'm sure. I'm yours for as long as you'll have me."

"God, not another wheel of cheese out of you! What the hell, Allen? Since when have you been so mushy?"

"Bah, I'm too tired to fight with you about it. I need to sleep." He closed his eyes, and rolled onto his side. He felt the bed shift a bit as Lavi moved over to lay next to him, curling around him spoon-fashion.

"Good night, my beloved little beansprout," Lavi murmured into his ear. "See you in the morning."

* * *

**VIVA EL FIN!**


End file.
